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Craig
22nd June 2002, 04:27
I believe this belongs in this section although it is not directly related to meditation. For the past couple months now I have not been able to think about anything but the present. It has had an adverse effect on everything: school, relationships, and training. I really don't know how to explain it, and am having a real difficult time trying to put it into words. I hope i'll be able to get enough into this so that I can get some advice or more information.
There are many things that I have noticed changing within these couple months. I know dream all night and remember them clearly, this never use to happen, and even the dreams themselves have changed from being unclear and almost sci-fi to being completely realistic, with people I know well and realistic situations. I have done and said many things that I wouldn't even think about doing or saying in the past, but now it's too easy.
It feels very similar to being drunk. How when you're drunk you will hear something then move on and totally forget about it. Well that's what everything is like now. I know that I was not like this before, as I use to be able to think and I seem to have lost that ability. I remember reading an article on a website by western doctors that seemed similar to my situation, can't remember what it said or on what website though. Oh and everything seems surreal like it's all a dream.
My explanation of this sucks but hopefully you all can fill in the blanks or ask me some questions. Any advice would be appreciated briefly as it will be lost when I move on to whatever I do after.


Craig Vincent

Laotse
22nd June 2002, 14:23
Why do you consider this to be a problem?

Craig
22nd June 2002, 15:48
It's not a problem itself, but it has messed up a few things. It's had a negative effect at school, in training, and financially. A few months ago I was a straight "A" student, and now I barely passed some of my courses. I use to have a passion for training, now I don't, and I can't absorb anything from classes; it completely leaves my mind as I leave the dojo. Financially, I spend ten times as much as I use to, and am almost broke.



Craig Vincent

Elijah
22nd June 2002, 21:04
Craig,

Interesting dillema. Indeed many people would like to be able to concentrate on the present moment the way you seem to be able to do. What did you recently change in your life to bring this 'state of being' on? I would recommend 'going with the flow'... right now you seem to feel as if this is a type of curse - when in reality it could be a blessing in disguise. As far as affecting your studies in school, I would think that you would be able to more effectively use your study time because you are distracted less by the past and future and theoretically you are able to focus on the here and now and the material that you are studying. Of course I could be wrong - since Im not experiencing what you are. Living in the present is a major aim of many 'religions' and philosophies so there must be something to it.

I wish you luck!

Chiburi
22nd June 2002, 22:24
I don't know much about psychology, religion, dreams and so on, but I know something about doing too much work and getting bored. I think that what you're going through is similar to depression. You work like hell, think about how that's going to help you in the future, stress builds up, maybe a lack of sleep. Then suddenly you realize "For what am I staying up all nights working for?" Everything starts feeling meaningless and all you do is try to find a way out of it. Some do it by drinking, eating, drugs, even getting in fights--doing something they wouldn't normally do. Nothing matters, not the past, not the future. You dream about living your life differently. Heck, everybody goes through it at least once in their lifetime, usually in the teens (I think..) I also believe that some people call it searching for one's place in the world or something.
Anyways, I'm no shrink :D, but try looking at life around you in a different way, trying to find its good sides. Meet new people--it's a great opportunity to get to know different types of people. (Btw, you could have told us your age.) Doing well in school is a great thing, however school is nothing but school, and money's only money. Man, we all have our ups and downs, but remember that if you don't have bad days, how would you know you're having a good day? Don't get stuck in it.

Oh yes, don't start doing drugs or drinking too much, that'll get you nowhere. You seem like a reasonable fella.

Cheers, mate!

PS. Don't take my word for an expert's...except the "Oh yes".

Craig
23rd June 2002, 16:57
Elijah,

"What did you recently change in your life to bring this 'state of being' on?" - there's been lot's of changes. Began study and practice of acupuncture, tai chi, and hung gar kung fu. Have been using reiki everyday for a couple hours at the acupuncture clinic that I studied at. I just finished school and now sit on my butt during the day (for the most part) waiting for the night to come when I party with friends. And I recently got in a relationship with girlfriend whom I love. There's more but it doesn't feel right to write about myself anymore, so I'll leave it at that.

Your theory about the school thing is sound but it doesn't work out that way when I was at school. I wasn't interested in that stuff so I didn't do anything, it's pretty simple. Instead I did things to make school fun, won't say what though.

Chiburi,

Wow you got a lot right on the button. I'm close to being insomniac. "Everything starts feeling meaningless and all you do is try to find a way out of it. Some do it by drinking, eating, drugs, even getting in fights--doing something they wouldn't normally do" Well I don't fight, don't over eat, and won't do drugs. About the drinking, well here's how one of my friends puts it: Your only an alcoholic if you get help, I like to think of myself as a socialaholic ;). I just like to have a good time.


Thanks for all your interest,

Craig Vincent

Laotse
23rd June 2002, 19:38
This is tough to get a handle on. I agree with the comment that this sounds like depression, but perhaps it is not. In one sense, I think maybe I am experiencing something like this as well, but I know I am not stuck in the moment; if anything, I am stuck in the future, and do not do a good enough job of making the connection between the present and the future. I am neither depressed nor particularly happy; neither unhappy nor self-pleased.

What to do? Just keep on keeping on. Keep your mind on your path, and on your goal. As I have often said about training -- and this applies to a great deal of life -- "you don't have to like it, you just have to do it". In other words, apply some self-discipline to get past the time of non-motivation. There will come a time, in the not too distant future, when you will be glad you did. Deviate from your path, and you will soon be sorry you did, and disgusted at the time you wasted.

One thing I have discovered for certain is that my training never fails me. Women fail me; when that happens, I train. My career fails me; when that happens, I train. If my training appears to fail me, I know I am training wrong. At that point, I turn to my teacher for guidance. Because I have the right teacher, he never fails me.

Elijah
23rd June 2002, 20:39
Craig,

Out of curiosity, aside from the Martial arts, Acupuncture and Reiki - were you doing any form of meditation (consistently)? The activities that you are participating in definetly seem to be things that would raise your 'energy levels', but I have always been under the impression that meditation would be something that would be necessary to bring on the 'staying in moment' state of being that you are experiencing.

If your not meditating regularly it would be interesting to start and see where that takes you. It could perhaps help you out in your process. I would recommend trying a technique called the 'secret smile' written about in Glen Morris's books.
Let us know what happens!

Laotse
24th June 2002, 05:17
Originally posted by Elijah
I would recommend trying a technique called the 'secret smile' written about in Glen Morris's books.
Let us know what happens!

I would advise against doing the secret smile or related practices without the guidance of a teacher with experience. It can be dangerous, actually.

Elijah, please sign your name to your posts, as required by e-Budo etiquette/rules.

Elijah
24th June 2002, 14:30
My apologies for forgetting to sign my name - I thaught I had it in the signature.
At any rate, please tell me why the exercise is in your mind so dangerous.. I would be interested in hearing.

Thanks in advance!

Elijah McCaughen

Craig
24th June 2002, 14:50
Hopefully, within the next month I will be under the guidance of a teacher whom teaches chi kung. Elijah, no I have not been doing any type of meditation consistently, I use to, and will more than likely start again in the near future when I will have more time. I do have glenn morris's books as well as mantak chia's and I may take your advice into steady practice of the secret smile.


Craig Vincent

Goju-Ryu
3rd July 2002, 14:00
What is that "secret smile" you've been talking about?
I've already searched in the web about that but I cant find anything...

Elijah
3rd July 2002, 15:56
Check out Dr. Morris's books... most noteably "Path notes of an American Ninja Master".

Not all information is available for free on the web.;)

Elijah McCaughen

secretgnome
10th July 2002, 08:32
I know exactly what you're going through - i'm in the same situation. Many things for me are extreemly clear but i'm having trouble focusing on schoolwork and a few other things, probably because i'm starting to realise that school isn't that important. As to the other ideas as to how this happens, for me at least I have had some major stress recently that could have had some effect, but meditation in the sense of what a zen master would teach you I havn't done in ages. What I have been doing is quite a lot of self-reflection when I'm taking walks at night or running or simply relaxing.

I'm just wondering Craig if you've been doing much self-reflection lately as I think it's the main cause for my "enlightenment".

And btw, I'm an athiest and a firm believer that religion is the opium of the masses.

Craig
10th July 2002, 14:33
Yes, quite a bit of self reflection.

hypnomindpower
11th July 2002, 05:18
Craig,

Let me ask you something first - what changes have happened to you recently that may be related to your current state?

Typically in your situation - you are in an overload state. Sort of a hypnotic state. It's actually pretty common for people to go into this state, though most don't realize it. About 70% of my clients are in a hypnotic state - and I have to dehypnotize them. I had a client that was in a hypnotic state for about 20 years and he graduated with a Ph.D degree during that time. We can still function while in hypnosis - just not effectively.

If you've even seen a hypnosis stage show - the participants will do things that they would not normally do in their real lives - it's the same with you. One of the problems you may face is that you are very suggestible at this time. I would recommend that you seek a professional to help you with this - that would include dehypnotizing you.

Cheers,

Bob Choat, C.Ht., GMS
Inspired Warrior Coach/Trainer/Founder
Certified Hypnotherapist
Certified NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer

Craig
11th July 2002, 16:01
I already answered that in one of my posts.

john hammand
29th July 2002, 05:39
What about getting some proper medical advice?

J.Hammand.