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Benjamin Peters
14th August 2002, 12:19
Be it a student or a fellow instructor, how do you deal with those who have a (competitive) my-daddy-is-stronger-than-your's attitude?

It's usually the same type of person who find everything wrong. It can wear me thin sometimes.:mad:

[No silly responses please]

Amir
14th August 2002, 14:15
Since I am merely a senior student or at most a replacement instructor, I have a very simple solution:
I deal with it a case at a time. If a students starts saying “what if I did …” I just show him what will happen, allowing my nasty side to appear for a moment. Korindo Aikido can be a devastating art if you are willing, normally the student finds himself falling very swiftly towards the mat, while being in a lock ( I assume most if not all M.A. are suitable for such a solution, the thing I find great is the ability to do so and yet remain a notch before the actual damage begins).
I guess the mouth muscles have some strange connection to the pain receptors, as any such questions usually subside into: “OK what am I doing wrong in this application” :-)

A different approach applies for those who insist the variation they are using is better then the one I am currently teaching, they might even be right, as some times an instructor should return to the basic longer variations for various reasons (easier to use correct body movement, better application of some idea one intends to elaborate on …). Normally I just ask them to do it “my way” for a while, and try get the best of it.


I hope I am shooting at the right target, not sure we are talking of the same things

Amir

Mitch Saret
14th August 2002, 19:43
I get not so much "my dad can do this" but rather "if he's doing this here's what I can do." What I do is take back control by reminding them that we are not defending against a particular move right now. We are practicing this and learning how to do it properly. If you catch on quicker than your partner, help them with it. Later, when we practice the counter, you can show us what you came up with and see how it works.

If you put a greater resposibility on the quicker learners to help the others they usually take to it.

Benjamin Peters
14th August 2002, 23:27
I guess that helps somewhat. But my experience is with a person who knows-it-all and always, tries to find a way to press down what you are doing. If I have an experience, it is usually met by a know-it-all attitidue (even though you know they don't). By the time similar experiences pass for this person, they sing praises to what they've experienced. Oh well just babbling here. Some people are just so competitive without even knowing it. It's a form of egoism I think. This isn't so much to do with technique, but these soughts try to fit the real world into a little square. When they realise they can't, you're the first to know. It's a shame, but the my-daddy-is-stronger-than-your's attitidue is in my opinion a form of immaturity and shows so much about what that person doesn't know...Even knowing they didn't know would be a start, but they don't even know what they don't know...

TomMarker
15th August 2002, 15:43
Beat them stupid or toss 'em out.

Straddling the line between "jovial" and "serious" I remain,

Goshin
15th August 2002, 18:17
hmmm....
I have experienced this several times, since i am a relatively young instructor some people think they can get away with it. I remind them why they are here, to learn from me. If they know it all, then there is the door. If they keep up with their bull, then they have to be " de-egotised" or enlightened. Depending on the person that may require making them look silly while sparing, making them look silly while doing another technique. I have had to.... Enlighten someone at the dojo i train at. He is a really big guy and thinks that he knows everything, and can do it all, because of his size pretty much.... So my Sensei let me (the smaller guy by about 8" and 100lbs) deal with him.... he is now well liked in the dojo, and does as he is told without back talk.

HinodeBuddha
16th August 2002, 01:53
With such a person the only way to silence the individual is to deomonstrate your technique with them as the uke. I usually do it slowly at first and when they say "This won't work." or "What if I punch here?" I explain that what we are practicing a basic technique not intended to address what they are talking about. I explain these issues will be covered at another level. If this does not detour their attitude, I invite them to practice with me.

Paul Mathews
16th August 2002, 14:11
One of my assistant instructors, a shodan at time that he first faced this situation, dealt with it this way. He informed the student that he (the student) must be the "stupidest S.O.B." he had ever had the pleasure of meeting. When the student asked why that was, he replied, "Here it is, you know how to do everything better than how I am showing you, yet you are paying good money for me to teach you. I repeat, you must be the stupidest S.O.B. I have ever met.":p

Fortunately for the student, he got the message.

Robert Cheshire
26th October 2002, 06:17
I ran into a situation like this a few years ago. I am lucky/fortunate enough to live only three hours from our style's U.S. Tech. Director and was able to discuss how to handle this with him. He replied something to this effect: "Sometimes to make a tree blossom you have to trim a few branches." Otherwise know as the Barney Fife method of "Nip it in the bud!"

Now this can be done in several ways. In my opinion, if you just walk up and beat the crap out of them you are not much more than a know it all that happens to be able to back it up with that person.

Verbal communication is the first step. Showing the effectivness of the technique is a good second. When they try to punch or say "What if...?" I say "let's try it and see" then I make sure they feel how the technique is REALLY applied (I practice Yoseikan Budo/Aikido). Of course, the power of the technique is determined by the level of disrespect the student is causing (are they being a jerk or are they just stupid and clueless).

kenshorin
5th November 2002, 01:11
Originally posted by Mitch Saret
I get not so much "my dad can do this" but rather "if he's doing this here's what I can do."

I have gotten my fair share of this. What I usually do is tell the person to "try that again" and then instead of doing the expected attack I do something different. The point is obvious... its always easy to prevent an attack when you know its coming.

Robert Cheshire
5th November 2002, 05:16
Originally posted by kenshorin


The point is obvious... its always easy to prevent an attack when you know its coming.

I had to grin when I read this because one of my students and I were talking about this very concept earlier tonight in class. A very good point!

MarkF
5th November 2002, 09:32
Mas Oyama had a good point about the fighting room, full contact.

He called it "Imparting Wisdom."

That is one of the better descriptions I've read yet, and would seem to fit in here, somewhere.


Mark

will szlemko
5th November 2002, 21:22
hi all,

I recently dealt with a student coming from another art who was preparing to test for his 5th degree black belt (at age 19) he has been treaining for 10 years and was very much not impressed that I was only a shodan (despite more years experience than him). As we were working on wrist locks he would not go slow or easy and insisted on slamming them on hard and fast. Eventually I got tired of repeating that he needed to slow down and use sensitivity and center not muscle, as well as taking hard falls for him, so I proceeded to put one on him at a medium pace but I followed him down and put a pin on. He thought he could fight out of the pin. Wrong. I released him before he hurt himself severely but he was in pain, frightened, crying, and has never returned. His reason, he felt that what we did was so ineffective yet similar to his own style (tae kwon do) that he did not want to be corrupted. Try to follow that logic.

will

kenshorin
8th November 2002, 22:29
Originally posted by will szlemko
hi all,

I recently dealt with a student coming from another art who was preparing to test for his 5th degree black belt (at age 19) he has been treaining for 10 years and was very much not impressed that I was only a shodan... His reason, he felt that what we did was so ineffective yet similar to his own style (tae kwon do) that he did not want to be corrupted. Try to follow that logic.

will

Yeah, or he didn't want his bogus 5th degree to be corrupted! :rolleyes:

KenpoKev
11th November 2002, 23:49
Mark wrote:

Imparting Wisdom

Yup, works quite well, depending upon the attitude of the questioner. A few months back I had an early 20's fellow who was larger and stronger than I try to "prove" that a technique wouldn't be effective.

He became a believer through "healing power of touch" :D
(Nerve centers are just so wonderful)

When I get legitimate questions of "What about if the attacker..." I'll show some variations that address the question or suggest that we learn to use many tools to do many tasks. Some tools will work better than others. You can use a wrench as a hammer...

Cheers