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Exorcist_Fist
24th October 2002, 02:41
Personally the foreigner that drive me nuts on TV is the unfunny white guy on the Learning to speak japanese show.

Someone needs to put him down.

Kimpatsu
24th October 2002, 03:12
This discussion reminds me just how great it is to get cable, and liberate yourself from the inanity of Japanese terrestrial TV... :cool:

red_fists
24th October 2002, 03:37
Russ.

Without Cable my mind would have turned to mush a long time ago.

But than Fox is not really that much better than Japanese TV.

Cheers.

P.S.: Enjoying reruns of Thunderbirds, UFO, and similar, plus the countdown is on for "Enterprise". :p

Jeff Hamacher
24th October 2002, 04:43
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
>> This discussion reminds me just how great it is to get cable, and liberate yourself from the inanity of Japanese terrestrial TV. <<

i'm not fond of everything on SuperChannel, but man, i love it for fixes of Homicide (too bad it's done), Cracker (all-day, all-episode broadcast coming up on november 4th!!!), and OZ. and while you can insult US television programming all you like, comedy such as Spin City, Frasier, or Drew Carey just can't be found anywhere on japanese TV.

Kimpatsu
24th October 2002, 05:19
Super Channel is GREAT! They're currently showing Star Trek: TNG, Star Trek: DS9, and Star Trek: Voyager. Oh, and Enterprise starts in two weeks' time... Nerd heaven!
And lest we forget: AXN has Mutant X (some cool MA in that), and Fox shows Buffy and Angel! Now, have I left anything out? :cool:

24th October 2002, 06:08
Originally posted by Silent Dan
Personally the foreigner that drive me nuts on TV is the unfunny white guy on the Learning to speak japanese show.

Someone needs to put him down.

Are you talking about the show where they sit around in a tatami room and act like they all just go off the boat?

There is a black guy, a white guy, an Indian guy, some Korean girl and a young Japanese girl?????
If that's the show I think all the guys on there should be taken out and shot....especially the little bug-eyed one......the cute chicks can stay.
They should replace all the guys with ME, Greg (see I can sperr), and Tony. We will need more young chicks on there, preferably Race Queens.........and all of them will wear T-Backs, pour our drinks, and tell us how great we are. ;)
Sort of Tonight Show 2 (Japanese version) meets the Japanese Lang. Learning Show, meets The Man Show, meets The Budo Channel........we could have discussions about Budo as well and anyone that disagres with us will be taken out and shot........anyone that tries to cancel our show will be taken out and shot.......anyone that trys to cut in on our chick action,........... that's right, will be taken out and shot.



what do you think?

Kimpatsu
24th October 2002, 06:14
I'm up for it 100%! Yes! A new low in Japanese TV.
I'm still bucking to get into porn movies here... :D

gmellis
24th October 2002, 06:33
I will only agree as long as you give me a small segment on the show where I ride the trains in full yoroi with 3 henchmen (samurai babes in some t-back samurai assistant outfits), and we grab oyaji's off the trains that are acting extremly oyaji-like. Then I want to bring them to the studio, where we will slowly torture them, then tape their eyes open and make them watch a public service video about proper train manners as they dangle over a big-ass sword that is 1 inch away from their golden nuggets.

24th October 2002, 06:36
Originally posted by gmellis
I will only agree as long as you give me a small segment on the show where I ride the trains in full yoroi with 3 henchmen (samurai babes in some t-back samurai assistant outfits), and we grab oyaji's off the trains that are acting extremly oyaji-like. Then I want to bring them to the studio, where we will slowly torture them, then tape their eyes open and make them watch a public service video about proper train manners as they dangle over a big-ass sword that is 1 inch away from their golden nuggets.



Done!
Let's make the sword actually touch only if they move........and then give them a push with a red hot branding iron. ;)

Kimpatsu
24th October 2002, 07:27
While we're about it, let's take all the Nova franchise managers, and hang them by their nuts over a lake of molten fire... :D
Reality TV at its best!

24th October 2002, 07:29
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
While we're about it, let's take all the Nova franchise managers, and hang them by their nuts over a lake of molten fire... :D
Reality TV at its best!

Talk about "survivor" :D :D :D :D

gmellis
24th October 2002, 07:36
No Loberlt, in "Survivors" someone is left behind. But none of these NOVA managers would survive because we would rub animal meat and fat all over the ropes they are suspended from and place one rat on the rope for every foreigner whose mind they have irrevocably destroyed with their "proprietary teaching system." You can imagine that that's alot of rats.

24th October 2002, 07:41
I say we take that one that is left behind, the "winner" as it were, and make them experience the agony imposed on Japanese Nova students by sitting through countless hours of their own boring lessons, and every time they nod off they must climb a mountain of razor blades.

CKohalyk
24th October 2002, 07:45
How can I get on this show???

...as a panelist... I don't want to be branded slashed skinned or have anything bad done to my nuts.

I could do a spot on Japanese Corporate Procedure. Actually, I probably should do a spot on the preparation of a spot on corporate procedure. But what can we call it? Better do a spot where we poll all living and non-living employees and their families/pets as to what we should call this. But how long would that take? Shall I prepare an an or two to submit at our next uchiawase, even though our desks are side-by-side and I have to endure your breath for 10 hours a day as we both pretend we are working???

Get back to me when you can. Or just forget about like I know you will. ;)

24th October 2002, 07:59
Originally posted by CKohalyk
How can I get on this show???

...as a panelist... I don't want to be branded slashed skinned or have anything bad done to my nuts.

I could do a spot on Japanese Corporate Procedure. Actually, I probably should do a spot on the preparation of a spot on corporate procedure. But what can we call it? Better do a spot where we poll all living and non-living employees and their families/pets as to what we should call this. But how long would that take? Shall I prepare an an or two to submit at our next uchiawase, even though our desks are side-by-side and I have to endure your breath for 10 hours a day as we both pretend we are working???

Get back to me when you can. Or just forget about like I know you will. ;)


Well Ck,

In true Japanese form we will have to take a vote to see if we should have a meeting to take a vote on any of your suggestions.
If all goes well and we come to a mutually useless consensus we may or may not get back to you..we'll have to vote on that.....denpending on if we want you in the loop and that is if we don't steal your ideas and brand them as our own.

gmellis
24th October 2002, 08:11
But Loberlt,
We'll have to get a consensus and vote on whether we'll steal his ideas as we'll. You're notgetting all uppety and mavericky on us all the sudden are you.:mad:

24th October 2002, 08:18
Originally posted by gmellis
But Loberlt,
We'll have to get a consensus and vote on whether we'll steal his ideas as we'll. You're notgetting all uppety and mavericky on us all the sudden are you.:mad:

It's MY show :mad: and I can be "wagamama" if I want to be.

Jeff Hamacher
24th October 2002, 08:50
hey! how come i don't get to sit around and have drinks poured for me by thong-sporting beauties?!? 'course, if i did, my wife'd break out the shinai and use my unarmoured head for a few hours of uchikomi ... before she moved on to some illegal groin strikes.:eek:

as regards the indispensible uchiawase, i propose that no such meeting should last less than 3 hours ... subject to approval by a preliminary shingikai, natch.

24th October 2002, 08:55
Originally posted by Jeff Hamacher
hey! how come i don't get to sit around and have drinks poured for me by thong-sporting beauties?!? ............
as regards the indispensible uchiawase, i propose that no such meeting should last less than 3 hours ... subject to approval by a preliminary shingikai, natch.


Jeff,

We'll have none of that PC talk around here. Why use a PC infested word like "thong" when "buttfloss" is perfectly acceptable.

As for the uchiawase......3hrs. is a bit short don't ya think....better make it 5 with some heavy smoking thrown in.

Jeff Hamacher
24th October 2002, 09:07
Originally posted by Robert Rousselot
>> We'll have none of that PC talk around here. Why use a PC infested word like "thong" when "buttfloss" is perfectly acceptable? <<

i submit to your obviously superior logic - "buttfloss", it is! and preferably an elegant black buttfloss ... neon brights are just not on.

>> As for the uchiawase......3hrs. is a bit short don't ya think....better make it 5 with some heavy smoking thrown in. <<

hell, the chainsmoking of Mild Sevens goes without saying! in a pinch, puffing on a Peace or a Cabin may be acceptable. and, dammit, we haven't even gotten around to discussing a dress code for these things! again, i assume bad navy suits and 100% polyester dress shirts are the order of the day, but i wouldn't want to presume on the final decisions of the shingikai.

CKohalyk
24th October 2002, 09:16
I also move to allow full-fledged, group chainsmoking/time-wasting in the restrooms. You know, I think it is perfectly acceptable for a public restrooms to be filled with so much haze that you would think there was a Civil War era firefight in there.

Also move for lacy frills on the butt-floss.

(I hope that my proposals aren't delayed into nothingness by the ruling coalition)


_________
Gov. Chad "I am not representative of a communist system with a razor-thin democratic veneer" Kohalyk

24th October 2002, 10:06
Originally posted by Jeff Hamacher
hey! how come i don't get to sit around and have drinks poured for me by thong-sporting beauties?!?

To gain a spot as co-host please answer the following questionnaire:

1) How do you feel about beer?

2) Do you object to beautiful Japanese women sitting next to you?

3) How do you feel about women fetching drinks for you?

4) Can you discuss the hard issues......i.e. Sex, booze, porn etc.....?

Kimpatsu
24th October 2002, 10:15
Originally posted by Robert Rousselot
1) How do you feel about beer?
Beer is the glue that holds the universe together. It is the nectar of the gods, and I should know, for I am a god, as we have discussed before.

Originally posted by Robert Rousselot
2) Do you object to beautiful Japanese women sitting next to you?
I would rather have her sit on me f**e...

Originally posted by Robert Rousselot
3) How do you feel about women fetching drinks for you?
That is one of the things women were made for...

Originally posted by Robert Rousselot
4) Can you discuss the hard issues......i.e. Sex, booze, porn etc.....?
As in hard sex, hard alcohol, harcore porn, etc? No problem.
So, am I in?

24th October 2002, 10:18
Tony has secured himself a permanent spot on the show.


All good answers Tony.