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Cody
16th May 2003, 20:33
Daughters get touchy on dad's beady eyes


By Ryann Connell
Staff Writer

May 16, 2003

Japan is filled with wild claims of sexual harassment, but now it appears the average home is rife with cases of children being treated as sexual object by their older relatives, according to Sunday Mainichi (5/25)

"My old man really makes me mad. He keeps asking me whether I'm wearing a bra or if my tits have grown," a junior high schoolgirl tells Sunday Mainichi. "And my old lady keeps telling me I'm so ugly and my body's no good so I'd better learn some skill so I can find a job."

Though workplaces and schools are taking an increasingly tough line against sexual harassment, little is being done to combat the same problems if they occur in the home. An example from a woman now in her 30s.

"I remember when I was about 12 or 13. I'd be in the bath and Dad would deliberately burst in on me to let me know he'd arrived home from work. He never did that to my brother," she says. "Other times I'd be getting changed in my bedroom and Dad would come in without knocking. He'd pretend he didn't realize I was changing, but even then I knew what he was doing."

Lawyer Yuko Suganuma says that combating sexual harassment in the home is as much a matter of "can't" as "won't."

"Unlike the workplace, where sex is not supposed to play a part at all, sexual harassment in the home is not as easy as simply making it illegal for a father to tell his daughter that her breasts have grown. But, except in extreme cases of violence or abuse, dealing with sexual issues in the home has always been a taboo topic," she tells Sunday Mainichi.

Plenty of women complain of sexual harassment at their fathers' hands.

"It annoys the hell out of me that my Dad can sit there watching television, raving 'Cor, look at that bird's tits,' or 'she's a dog, get her off.' He doesn't care what sort of character the woman has, he only judges them by their looks," one woman says.

Most sexual harassment in the home offenders are fathers, with pubescent daughters the most likely victims. Though many fathers may feel they're only taking an interest in watching their beloved daughters grow up, for the girls, having their dad stare at their budding breasts or question them about their periods is apparently a torturous burden.

It's not just fathers who are at wrong in this touchy subject, though. Moms have been known to get out of hand.

"Mothers get together and talk in loud voices about whose daughters have started their periods and who haven't," a woman now in her 20s tells Sunday Mainichi. "God I hated my mom for that."

And some men have had awful experiences, as one guy now in his 30s recalls.

"When I was in junior high school, my mom and older sister used to come into my bedroom every day and wake my up by ripping down my pajama pants and giggling when they saw my morning glory," he says.

Hatsuko Takayanagi, a representative of CAP, a group aimed at protecting children from violence, warns that sexual harassment in the home can have dire consequences.

"I think there're probably loads of kids who're suffering terribly because of the way family members treat or talk about sex," she tells Sunday Mainichi. "Kids have actually told me about their worries when I've traveled around schools and the like. What may be something only minor in the eyes of an adult can turn out to be something so frightening for a child they're too scared to talk about it to anybody else."