Paul Steadman
15th September 2000, 11:56
*NB: The following post is not to be taken seriously ie. it's a joke!
1- Whatever you do, don't find a legitimate koryu sensei/dojo in your country or take a trip to Japan to locate one. You can tweak your current gendai-budo skills to look and act like koryu.
2- Join the International World Kokusai Koryu Bujutsu/Bugei/Budo Renmei Kyokai Association of Sensei/Shihan/Soke Federations. It only costs US$25- and they'll send you a beautiful certificate '...suitable for framing,' and an embroidered patch for your uniform. The IWKKBBBRKA probably also offers video grading srevices.
3- Shave your head, and tell your students (& prospectives) that you are a Buddhist, smile all knowingly when asked if you are Mahayana or Thereveda, or when asked what sect etc.
4- Go to koryu seminars and get yourself photographed with sensei/soke from Japan (post these on your web-site and scan them into your brochures etc).
5- Read all of Donn F. Draegers' books and memorise the glossary/terminology section. This is very important. If you are a computer-wiz, maybe you could scan and stitch a photo of yourself into a D. Draeger photograph as well.
6- Make up a koryu sounding name for your school, such as: Tenchi Shinden Shinto Ryu (Heaven/Earth= UNIVERSAL, new/tradition= MODERN, true/way= SPEAKS FOR ITSELF, style). Make sure you use the wrong kanji, and make sure the printers/sign-writers display it back the front or up-side down. No one will know the difference.
7- Inform your students that they are not allowed to wear hakama or blue keikogi until they are black-belts. Are not allowed to train with bokken until they reach green-belt. Are not allowed to train with katana until brown-belt (and only with shinken, when thay reach 2'd dan. You know, spread out the curriculum so they'll never catch up to you. And that way you don't have to teach your skills as much.
8- When asked where you learnt your koryu skills from, tell them about the two Japanese fishermen who were stranded on the shore, having helped them out, they taught the first non-japanese they came across the secrets of their ryu. Obviously you have miss-placed your densho/menjo etc. But the IWKKBBBRKA has a copy on file.
9- Now it's time to tweak your current skills to make them koryu. If you are skilled in Arnis/Eskrima type techniques you could re-name them Nicho-Tanbo or Nicho-Tebo (double short sticks or double-hand sticks), a rare and little-known weapon as used by rural or provincial ji-samurai who could not always afford the more elaborate and decorative weapons of the buke. If you are skilled in karate-do, throw in some judo and aikido techniques stir over low heat and serve up as jujutsu (you know, you've got your striking + throwing / jointlocking x pinning = koryu jujutsu formula).
10- Don't show your students too much (beside catching up to you and maybe even surpassing you!), you want them to keep coming back for more. Tell them if they keep training hard and act on your every whim, soon you'll show them the okuden/oku-iri/okugi techniques, but only when they have proven themselves worthy.
11- Although not related to koryu matters, don’t forget to mention your military, special-forces, police, law enforcement and security experience. Give a special mention of your involvement with unarmed combat and weapons defence instruction to county and state police, SWAT, FBI etc and military units such as SEALS, Rangers, Green Berets, SAS etc.
Unless I get flamed or booted out of E-Budo for the above. I'll post some more hints in the future. All the best.
Regards,
Paul Steadman
PS: I've actually met instructors who have done similar things to the above without batting an eye-lid and swear black & blue that it is true. Personally I don't know what the Skoss', D. Lowry and W. Muramoto are complaining about...JUST KIDDING (joking)!
1- Whatever you do, don't find a legitimate koryu sensei/dojo in your country or take a trip to Japan to locate one. You can tweak your current gendai-budo skills to look and act like koryu.
2- Join the International World Kokusai Koryu Bujutsu/Bugei/Budo Renmei Kyokai Association of Sensei/Shihan/Soke Federations. It only costs US$25- and they'll send you a beautiful certificate '...suitable for framing,' and an embroidered patch for your uniform. The IWKKBBBRKA probably also offers video grading srevices.
3- Shave your head, and tell your students (& prospectives) that you are a Buddhist, smile all knowingly when asked if you are Mahayana or Thereveda, or when asked what sect etc.
4- Go to koryu seminars and get yourself photographed with sensei/soke from Japan (post these on your web-site and scan them into your brochures etc).
5- Read all of Donn F. Draegers' books and memorise the glossary/terminology section. This is very important. If you are a computer-wiz, maybe you could scan and stitch a photo of yourself into a D. Draeger photograph as well.
6- Make up a koryu sounding name for your school, such as: Tenchi Shinden Shinto Ryu (Heaven/Earth= UNIVERSAL, new/tradition= MODERN, true/way= SPEAKS FOR ITSELF, style). Make sure you use the wrong kanji, and make sure the printers/sign-writers display it back the front or up-side down. No one will know the difference.
7- Inform your students that they are not allowed to wear hakama or blue keikogi until they are black-belts. Are not allowed to train with bokken until they reach green-belt. Are not allowed to train with katana until brown-belt (and only with shinken, when thay reach 2'd dan. You know, spread out the curriculum so they'll never catch up to you. And that way you don't have to teach your skills as much.
8- When asked where you learnt your koryu skills from, tell them about the two Japanese fishermen who were stranded on the shore, having helped them out, they taught the first non-japanese they came across the secrets of their ryu. Obviously you have miss-placed your densho/menjo etc. But the IWKKBBBRKA has a copy on file.
9- Now it's time to tweak your current skills to make them koryu. If you are skilled in Arnis/Eskrima type techniques you could re-name them Nicho-Tanbo or Nicho-Tebo (double short sticks or double-hand sticks), a rare and little-known weapon as used by rural or provincial ji-samurai who could not always afford the more elaborate and decorative weapons of the buke. If you are skilled in karate-do, throw in some judo and aikido techniques stir over low heat and serve up as jujutsu (you know, you've got your striking + throwing / jointlocking x pinning = koryu jujutsu formula).
10- Don't show your students too much (beside catching up to you and maybe even surpassing you!), you want them to keep coming back for more. Tell them if they keep training hard and act on your every whim, soon you'll show them the okuden/oku-iri/okugi techniques, but only when they have proven themselves worthy.
11- Although not related to koryu matters, don’t forget to mention your military, special-forces, police, law enforcement and security experience. Give a special mention of your involvement with unarmed combat and weapons defence instruction to county and state police, SWAT, FBI etc and military units such as SEALS, Rangers, Green Berets, SAS etc.
Unless I get flamed or booted out of E-Budo for the above. I'll post some more hints in the future. All the best.
Regards,
Paul Steadman
PS: I've actually met instructors who have done similar things to the above without batting an eye-lid and swear black & blue that it is true. Personally I don't know what the Skoss', D. Lowry and W. Muramoto are complaining about...JUST KIDDING (joking)!