View Full Version : Warning:---men Only !

Prince Loeffler
14th June 2003, 19:09

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license
in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Have some more chocolate.

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need
a good Laugh! Or men who need a warning.
And remember: Money talks.... But Chocolate sings.

wendy ongaro
16th June 2003, 03:42
Amen to the chocolate part- especially chocolate icecream...:p

I think that is why I am so happily married...my husband figured out the "how 'bout some chocolate?" part early on.

16th June 2003, 15:39
If men wrote advice columns...

16th June 2003, 15:44
And another...

16th June 2003, 15:46

16th June 2003, 16:01
And more advice...

16th June 2003, 16:03

Bob Blackburn
16th June 2003, 16:30
If I tried those, I may never get a nice meal again :rolleyes:

wendy ongaro
17th June 2003, 00:29
O.K. I can't help myself.. this is the joke that bursts the chauvanism every time...

This guy rushes into a lounge, sits down at the bar, and orders a straight shot of tequila. As soon as the bartender gets it poured, they guy slams it and orders another. the bartender pours the next drink, and the guy slams it, too. then he orders another. The bartender looks at him cautiously and says "son, keep this up and I'll be cutting you off real soon."

the guys smiles back and says, "yeah, well I just got my first blow job."

The bartender gives a half-assed grin and replies "Well, well, well then...the next one's on the house." He pours the guy another shot, and the man slams it back.

"ya wanna 'nother?" says the bartender. the man smacks his lips together and says "naa. that last one got rid of the taste." :kiss:

17th June 2003, 07:34
That's a good one wendy!


Prince Loeffler
13th October 2003, 03:03
A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following:

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 apple
1 banana
1 orange
1 plum
1 peach
1 grapefruit
1 tomato
1 lettuce
1 cabbage
1 baking potato
1 Kraft single
1 samoosa
1 vegetable pakora
1 muesli bar
1 pie
1 single serving of cereal
1 single frozen dinner
1 single frozen pizza

The checkout guy looks at her, smiles, and says,

'Single, huh?'

The girl smiles sheepishly and replies,

'How'd you guess?'

He says, 'Because you're ugly.'