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A. M. Jauregui
28th July 2003, 04:56
What are the worst pickup lines that you have either heard, said, or if need be created for this thread?

The worst that I have heard lately was, “Excuse me girl I’ve been noticing you looking at my away message and I just want to know... You want to play paper, rock, scissors?“

I told him that I am too old to play such childish games and to come back when he knew how to play the game a bit better...

Shitoryu Dude
28th July 2003, 05:08
How about the worst pickup line that actually worked?

Back when I was in my early 20's one night I approached this woman in her mid-30's that I had been seeing repeatedly all over town all summer long. All I did was tell her that I was sick and tired of watching her every Friday night from the other end of the bar and that we should go to her place and get naked.

Turned out she lived only a mile or two away....... :cool:

A. M. Jauregui
28th July 2003, 05:29
I do not have any lines Harvey... All it generally takes is the proper carriage and expression... :cool:

Shitoryu Dude
28th July 2003, 05:34
The best pickup line in the world is "Hi, mind if I sit here with you?". Works amazingly well.

:beer:

Shitoryu Dude
28th July 2003, 06:06
OK - here's the worst one I ever saw.

My brother and I get to a club way early and sit down at the bar. My brother is at the corner and there is a supportbeam on his left. There is an opening of several inches between the bar counter and the beam.

In walks one sophisticated trophy babe of about 40. Dressed to the nines and sporting about $100,000 in jewelry. Tall, blonde, classy. She takes up a spot at the bar at the corner next to my brother with the support beam somewhat between them. Some total loser comes over and starts to hit on the babe. She gets her drink and just smiles and nods and says "hu'huh" alot while this dork who hasn't had a haircut in three months, or changed his shirt in a week, ttempts to impress her by showing her this big wad of one dollar bills in his wallet. Must have had at least ten or twelve dollars there :laugh:

After a couple of minutes of this I notice my brother has this big sh*t-eating face and he's just staring at his 7 & 7. I look down the the babe has his unit out and is giving him a good working over while she is still talking to the dork with the dollar bills. After she finally manages to blow off the dork she has my brother meet her in the bathroom for a few minutes.

tmanifold
28th July 2003, 06:08
Swear to god my best friend tried this one. He walked up to this girl and said, "Nice shoes, wanna F---?" He got decked for it but its funny.

meat
28th July 2003, 07:15
Tony, a good friend of mine used the same line on an absolute hottie(although without the shoes bit). The next second he waves to us and walks out the door with her.

kenkyusha
28th July 2003, 07:21
And it was so horrific... well, you be the judge:

"Are your parents retarded? Because you seem like a special girl". Ah, to be young, clueless and on the make...

Be well,
Jigme

PwarYuex
28th July 2003, 07:52
Says kid "Did it hurt?"
Says lady "Did what hurt?"
Kid "Falling from heaven, you are an angel aren't you?"
_________________________________

"I'm new in town, can I stay at your house?"
_________________________________

"I'm gay, but I'll settle for less"

Gene Williams
28th July 2003, 10:59
Guy, while walking near girl's table looking at floor: " Excuse me, but I lost my Congressional Medal of Honor here somewhere...oh, well, never mind, I have another at home."


"Hi, you must be really tired...you've been running through my mind all night."

larsen_huw
28th July 2003, 11:31
You're eyes are like spanners ..... well they're tightening my nuts!

Get your coat love, you've pulled.

Got any **insert nationality** in you? Want some?

Roses are red,
Gherkins are green,
I love your legs,
And whats in between!

Never had the balls to use any of them. Got plenty more, will post if i can remember.

Bushi Jon
28th July 2003, 11:57
You wanna go home with me now the booze is about yo wear off

Aikidaniel
28th July 2003, 12:22
What about:

You: "Are you an alien?"
Her: "No! why you say that?"
You: "Cause your ass is outta this world"

You: "You wanna see something SWELL?"

*Lick your finger and touch her shirt/jacket*
You: "Should I help you get out of those wet clothes?"

;)

Cheers,
Daniel

dirithtai
28th July 2003, 15:44
A guy I know at a club one night walks up to a girl who is exceptionally well endowed:

"I like those!"

BC
28th July 2003, 18:29
I was on a vacation in Ft. Lauderdale in the early eighties with some buddies, and one of them was an ornthinologist. The crewdest guy in our group came up with a great line, which we all used at one point or another during the trip, usually while fairly inebriated, since we knew it wouldn't likely work.

Guy: "Do you know anything about birds?"

Woman: "Yeah sure, why?"

Guy (pointing downward): "Would you take this for a swallow?"

Usually followed by a slap in the face. Although one time it looked like it was actually going to work, but my buddy was so shocked that he couldn't follow through.

Daishi
29th July 2003, 00:39
"Hey baby, you look as good as food."

Not terribly effective, but looking back, it was kinda funny...


Dale Heisler

Julian Gerhart
29th July 2003, 06:44
It's a good thing I have my library card cause I'm checkin you out

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? because I can see my self in your pants

if you were a booger I'd pick you first

i'm no fred flinstone but i can make your bedrock

hey baby, lets go back to my place and play war, I'll lay down and you blow the hell out of me

A. M. Jauregui
29th July 2003, 12:00
Thanks of the laughs guys, some of those are just so horrible.

Uesugi Kenshin
29th July 2003, 19:44
The worst pick up line that I've actually heard used was
"Excuse me, do you know how much a large polar bear weighs?" (girl says no) "Well i think its just about enough to break the ice" hahaha...yep. well theres my input.
Cheers :toast:

adroitjimon
29th July 2003, 20:49
Pink or Brown?...It seems to have a strange flair
and it allways gets something started:D

adroitjimon
2nd August 2003, 02:46
0.Pink or brown?
1.What?
0.Can you talk to me for a second?
1.No.
0.Then pardon my missdeed as you turn away.
1.Wait,what do you mean be pink or brown?
0.Just two colors or a question,I want you... respond to me...


0.What is that your response?
1.That is perhaps the worst pick up line I ever heard of.
0.So, tell me then,what is a good one?
1.Hey good lookin' wanna screw?
0.yes,thankyou.
1.No,not you.
0.Why not me?
1.First thing I dont know you.
0.what's to know.
1.This conversation is over!
0.Please,pardon my missdeed.
1.why did you say that again ?
o.Why did you respond to that again?
1.ooh!!!
0.Pink or brown?

william northcote
3rd August 2003, 12:39
On a tee shirt I saw recently:

"Hey Bud, hold this beer while I kiss your girlfriend".

John Lovato
3rd August 2003, 18:50
"Oh, you lost your virginity"

"can I have the box it came in?"

Mushin San
4th August 2003, 14:12
Worst pick upline I have heard and been subjected too "I have never been with an asian.... is it true you all have small .....?"

Jack B
4th August 2003, 15:35
How about "Ya um kwasit pas kwangwa'yta?"

"Kur uukwasay holokna'a?" will get you slapped on a Hopi reservation.

If she says "kur'a!" it means you already got lucky.

TimoS
4th August 2003, 18:31
One of my friends actually used this on a barmaid here in Helsinki once:

"Do you work for the postal office ? Because I saw you checking out my package!" Fortunately/unfortunately the girl didn't understand english that well and we managed to get Phil away from her ;)

StanLee
5th August 2003, 13:49
I tried this once and it worked...

I said: You wanna shag?

She said: Ok.

larsen_huw
5th August 2003, 14:04
Roses are red,
Swiss Army Knives are handy,
staring at your tits,
makes me quite randy!

Man: Staring at you makes me think of those great lines by Shakespere.
Woman: Oh how romantic ... do you mean in Romeo and Juliet?
Man: No, i was thinking of "A horse, a horse, my kingdon for a horse!"

Find a woman with one of those t-shirts with a message on the front, across her breasts. Go up to her and start feeling her breasts. Tell her you're blind and are reading her t-shirt in braille! :D

And not wishing to offend any women here by saying women are shallow .... BUT .... you could do a lot worse as a chat up line than: "hi, i'm rich & loaded!".

TimoS
5th August 2003, 14:22
Seems like I have ask my friends to resend me their collection of "pick-up" lines....

Ah, found them on the great internet: Austin Powers pick-up lines (http://www.hehe.at/funworld/archive/fun4you.php?joke=970). One of my friends claims he used the "nice legs, when do they open ?" here in Helsinki, but somehow I don't believe him.

This is also a (supposedly at least) true story. When our company started making products in USA, some of the people from there were coming here to Finland for the first time in their life, so they asked finnish guys working there for some pick-up lines in finnish. When they had learned (or thought they did) this one line, they proudly went to one of ex-collegues, who happens to be american, but speaks very fluent finnish and mumbled something he couldn't quite understand. He then went to finnish guys and asked what the heck had they thought those people. The line was "alavilla mailla hallan vaara", which roughly translates as "chance of frost on open ground" (or something very close to that)

Mike Williams
5th August 2003, 14:27
OK, how about witty ripostes to your suave pick-up attempts. My favourite was in an advert on TV a couple of years ago:

Him: "Can I buy you a drink?"
Her: "Um, I think I'd rather just take the cash"

Cheers,

Mike

PS: Stan, I very much hope you didn't succesfully try that line with Matt's colleague!!! (/jealousy)

StanLee
6th August 2003, 11:48
This was a while back Mike. Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance with Matt's female work mates...

:(

Chidokan
6th August 2003, 23:51
whats wrong with ' you wanna see my weapon? it's three feet long'... iaido pickup line number 1:D

Tim Hamilton

elder999
7th August 2003, 00:00
This actually worked, once:

"I'd like to eat your dirty underwear."

Shitoryu Dude
7th August 2003, 01:12
You said that? More importantly, did you mean it?

:laugh:

elder999
7th August 2003, 01:26
It was long ago, but yeah, said it, meant it, nearly did it.