larsen_huw
11th August 2003, 13:11
In the Speed Traps thead, talk wandered onto outdated laws, and hunting parties to Chester and Hereford (to hunt Welsh people) and York (to hunts Scotsmen). I found a whole bunch of outdated (and quite humerous) UK laws, so decided to post them here. Including the ones as to why hunting the Welsh and Scots is ok.
· With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.
· All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.
· The severest Penaltys will be suffered by any commoner who doth permit his animal to have carnal knowledge of a pet of the Royal House (enacted by George I)
· It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).
· It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.
· Any person found breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end will be sentenced to 24 hours in the village stocks (enacted by Edward VI).
· It is illegal to stand within one hundred yards of the reigning monarch when not wearing socks (enacted by Edward VI).
· Chelsea Pensioners may not be impersonated.
· A bed may not be hung out of a window.
· It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.
· Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.
· It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.
· Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.
· It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.
· Destroying or defacing money is illegal.
· If a steam locomotive is driven on roads, a man must walk in front of the vehicle with a red flag during the day and a red lantern at night to warn passersby.
· All steam locomotives are limited to 4mph on roads.
· Anal sex is prohibited.
· You may not make out in public.
· It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.
· Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime.
· Interfering with the mail or sleeping with the consort of the Queen is classed as treason, and as such, carries a maximum penalty of death.
· Placing a postage stamp that bears the Queen (or King) upside down is considered treason.
· One may not "blemish the peace".
· A license is required to keep a lunatic.
· Damaging the grass is illegal.
· Jesuits, Seminary Priests and other suchlike disobedient Persons must be banished.
· Since 1313, MPs are not allowed to don armor in Parliament.
Chester
· You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.
Hereford
· You may not shoot a Welsh person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close.
Liverpool
· It is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store.
London
· Companies may vote in local elections.
· No cows may be driven down the roadway between 10 AM and 7 PM unless there is prior approval from the Commissioner of Police.
York
· Excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow.
Isle of Man
· Crossbows are banned
Isle of Sark
· All land must be left to the eldest son.
· Divorces are outlawed.
Apart from the Welsh and Scots hunting, my favoutite has to be the Lunatic Licence one. Maybe i should go to the post office (usually where one applies for licences) and ask them for a lunatic licence! What does everyone think?
· With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.
· All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.
· The severest Penaltys will be suffered by any commoner who doth permit his animal to have carnal knowledge of a pet of the Royal House (enacted by George I)
· It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).
· It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.
· Any person found breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end will be sentenced to 24 hours in the village stocks (enacted by Edward VI).
· It is illegal to stand within one hundred yards of the reigning monarch when not wearing socks (enacted by Edward VI).
· Chelsea Pensioners may not be impersonated.
· A bed may not be hung out of a window.
· It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.
· Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.
· It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.
· Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.
· It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.
· Destroying or defacing money is illegal.
· If a steam locomotive is driven on roads, a man must walk in front of the vehicle with a red flag during the day and a red lantern at night to warn passersby.
· All steam locomotives are limited to 4mph on roads.
· Anal sex is prohibited.
· You may not make out in public.
· It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.
· Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime.
· Interfering with the mail or sleeping with the consort of the Queen is classed as treason, and as such, carries a maximum penalty of death.
· Placing a postage stamp that bears the Queen (or King) upside down is considered treason.
· One may not "blemish the peace".
· A license is required to keep a lunatic.
· Damaging the grass is illegal.
· Jesuits, Seminary Priests and other suchlike disobedient Persons must be banished.
· Since 1313, MPs are not allowed to don armor in Parliament.
Chester
· You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.
Hereford
· You may not shoot a Welsh person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close.
Liverpool
· It is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store.
London
· Companies may vote in local elections.
· No cows may be driven down the roadway between 10 AM and 7 PM unless there is prior approval from the Commissioner of Police.
York
· Excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow.
Isle of Man
· Crossbows are banned
Isle of Sark
· All land must be left to the eldest son.
· Divorces are outlawed.
Apart from the Welsh and Scots hunting, my favoutite has to be the Lunatic Licence one. Maybe i should go to the post office (usually where one applies for licences) and ask them for a lunatic licence! What does everyone think?