France

[Kusarigama]

According to a Smithsonian Magazine I have somehwere at home, a writer of an article on French Country living, claimed the French have a proverb that goes something like this:

"When God wanted to create the most beautiful Country in the World, he created France. Then He messed it up by creating the French". :D

Honest... I'm not making this up!

Britt Nichols

[Shitoryu Dude]

The French have been rather universally despised for centuries - yet we always have a few people sticking up for them who secretly wish that they themselves were French. Tony is a closet frog for example - he relishes in the spitting sounds they make, revels in the lack of industrial capacity they have while making sure that 3rd rate medical care is provided for all, and lusts after their unwashed hairy women. :D

The primary problem with the French is that for no reason that anyone else can discern, they think that they are better than you. There really isn't anything they can point to and claim as their own, but they are certainly snotty about it. And then, they can't be trusted in general.

Of course, without the French we would have to find some other group of obnoxious people to dump on. I'm thinking that the Irish might be a suitable replacement.

:beer:

[Mike Williams]

Harvey, knock it off.

In another thread, you berate Tony for making sweeping generalisations about the USA. Pot/Kettle?

You might think you're dressing up your bigotry and xenophobia as humorous/ironic social commentry, but it's still bigotry and xenophobia.

I know, since you seem to get away with it, I'm going to start a thread to poke fun at blacks. Or jews. Or people from the Pacific Northwest.

Cheers,

Mike

PS: Anyway, I thought the original quote at the top of the page was written about the Swiss... ;)

[kirigirisu]

Um, poking fun at Hebrews is a big no-no.

The Jewish-controlled media conglomerates might try to shut you down ;)

[BC]

Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
I'm thinking that the Irish might be a suitable replacement.

:beer:

Careful! :nono:

[Shitoryu Dude]

You saying I can't poke fun at my own heritage?

Moul - a gaelic name found in Scotland and Ireland. Later found in England after the Norman invasion.

Murrin - a form of O'Murrein (various spellings), originally MacMurrain - gaelic, a sept of the clan MacAlpin

Bannon - O'Bannain, Bane, White - gaelic name found in Ireland

I can go on - the vast majority of my ancestors are Scots/Irish. If I want to have fun with my own ethnic heritage I'll do it - you can just screw off if you have a problem with that.

France's long history of being barely civilized and thoroughly uncivil is well documented. Tony is attempting to speak to issues that are, at best, outdated liberal media hype.

:beer:

[dirithtai]

Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
[B]The primary problem with the French is that for no reason that anyone else can discern, they think that they are better than you. There really isn't anything they can point to and claim as their own, but they are certainly snotty about it. And then, they can't be trusted in general.



Yep, sure, every frenchman is a snob...just like every american is an unwashed arrogant cowboy, and all irish are drunks, and yatta yatta yatta.

And there isn't anything they can point to and claim as their own? What about the Lourve? Gothic armor? Bordeux, Nice? The Arch du triumph, Notre Dame? Champagne, escargot, Filet Mignon? Sure, they also gave us mimes...but you can't hold that against ALL the french. And lets not forget Napoleon, or Charlemagne, two frenchmen that conquered the vast majority of Europe at one time or another.

And for everyone who trots out the "You would all be eating schnitzels if not for us." argument, you do all realise that if not for France, americans would still be sipping tea and crumpets and parading after merry old King George. Where were you all during American history class?

And, to be blunt, Americans haven't exactly been the best of allies throughout history, during the french revolution we turned our backs on the monarchy that supported us not too long before, or the constant "politburo"-esque missions in...well, everywhere not strong enough to do anything about it. Add to that our recent re-neging on many global treaties, a la clean air and so forth. Now, juxtapose all those facts with the constant american attitude of moral, financial, and general superiority (since these seems to be a thread about gross generalizations anyway) and its easy to see why the rest of the world despises americans.

[Heli]

The primary problem with the French is that for no reason that anyone else can discern, they think that they are better than you.

Doesn't this apply to every nation and its habitants all over the world? We Finns think we're better than Swedes, Swedes think they're better than Danish... You can continue the list until you return to the point where you started.

[Shitoryu Dude]

If I remember my history, neither Napoleon nor Charlemagne was actually French, but since they actually accomplished something France decided to claim them anyway.

England would have lost the revolutionary war one way or another, France just made it happen a bit faster. It was also done as a convenience to themselves. France has also been our enemy on this continent as well.

As for the mimes - nothing can ever be done to make us forgive that. :D Mimes are proof enough that French culture is without merit.

But let's get down to the real root of it all - I don't like the French and I am certainly not alone in that regard. I'm not advocating killing them off, I just don't like them. I am not obligated to like everybody; nobody is and your insistance that I somehow learn to love them is misguided. I think France sucks and that is all that there is to it. You can't convince me otherwise - I've met too many French already. So, I'm going to sit over here and not love the French. I dislike France enough to not want to buy their products and I already dislike what I have seen of their entertainment. I dislike France's politics and I consider it to be a country full of lying, backstabbing, two faced, political whores who don't understand personal hygiene. I will make it a point to not go there - I don't find the country or culture alluring at all. I'd much rather go someplace filled with pleasant people and a freindly culture, where even if I don't know the language will be able to enjoy myself without getting snotty looks and cursed at (you know, like the rest of the world).

Odd, nobody gives the French a hard time for not liking Americans :confused: Operating a little double standard here aren't we?

Yes, everybody hates America so much that we have many, many millions of people each year trying to get into the country for good - including the unwashed French. Not much of a flow outward in comparison - and like any society we wish those who want out a good riddence.

:beer:

[kirigirisu]

Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
If I remember my history, neither Napoleon nor Charlemagne was actually French, but since they actually accomplished something France decided to claim them anyway.


Yep. Napoleon was from Corsica, just like that Supermodel chick that's on all their currency now.

Charlemagne was from one of those germanic tribes, wasn't he?

Speaking of which, it's interesting to note the only historical French figure with anything resembling a pair of balls was a woman :D

[Mark Barlow]

Mark Twain had some great comments about the French. My favorites are, "In certain public indecencies the difference between a dog and a Frenchman is not perceptible." and "French are the connecting link between man and the monkey."

[Mike Williams]

Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
I don't like the French and I am certainly not alone in that regard. I'm not advocating killing them off, I just don't like them. I am not obligated to like everybody; nobody is and your insistance that I somehow learn to love them is misguided. I think France sucks and that is all that there is to it. You can't convince me otherwise - I've met too many French already. So, I'm going to sit over here and not love the French. I dislike France enough to not want to buy their products and I already dislike what I have seen of their entertainment. I dislike France's politics and I consider it to be a country full of lying, backstabbing, two faced, political whores who don't understand personal hygiene.

Replace all occurrences of "French" or "France" in the above paragraph with the word "negroes".

Do you see what I'm getting at?

You have a right to your opinions, however odious. I have the right to call a bigot a bigot.

Cheers,

Mike

[Shitoryu Dude]

Odd - your statement, while meant to be insulting and perhaps meaningful, doesn't really apply.

:beer:

[BC]

Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
I can go on - the vast majority of my ancestors are Scots/Irish. If I want to have fun with my own ethnic heritage I'll do it - you can just screw off if you have a problem with that.
:beer:

Ooh Harvey! A little sensitive today, eh? My finger wagging was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, and sadly, this medium makes it difficult to capture that, as you should well know.

Besides, the Irish have had their fair share of contempt in both the "old and new worlds." Those of us from the diaspora know full well where our destinies lay. :beer: :toast: :toot:

[Shitoryu Dude]

Been taking a bit of flak - yes. Does make me testy at times.

I need a beer. :beer:

perhaps a couple more would be better :beer: :beer:

[Mike Williams]

Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
Odd - your statement, while meant to be insulting and perhaps meaningful, doesn't really apply.

Are you suggesting you're not a bigot?

I'm just tired of your constant French-bashing. I'm quite sure you don't class yourself as a racist, or a bigot (judging by your comment) - so perhaps you can explain how the extreme xenophobia you show in your posts about France is materially different.

If I stated that the USA was a "country full of lying, backstabbing, two faced, political whores who don't understand personal hygiene", you would be amongst the first to jump on me for it (and rightly so). So how do you justify your opinions?

Cheers,

Mike

[Shitoryu Dude]

Perhaps if you called the US a pack of evangelical, lawless, gangbanging, lawsuit crazed, half-assed educated, flim-flam artists I'd give it more credit. That is a fairly accurate description after all.

While it seems to be perfectly acceptable for the world to hate nearly 300 million Americans for a variety of character and political flaws, it is not OK for the US to hold another country in similar disdain?

I am not required to kiss France's ass - why do you keep insisting that I do so?

:beer:

[Mike Williams]

Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
Perhaps if you called the US a pack of evangelical, lawless, gangbanging, lawsuit crazed, half-assed educated, flim-flam artists I'd give it more credit. That is a fairly accurate description after all.

:laugh:


I am not required to kiss France's ass - why do you keep insisting that I do so?

You don't have to kiss anyone's ass (unless you are both mutually consenting adults). But grotesque generalisations about the inhabitants of one country are stupid and offensive.

Cheers,

Mike

[kirigirisu]

Well, two things, actually.

Finding it odd that two Britons, who, as a people, in my experience usually hate the French with more ardor and venom than an evangelical, lawless, gangbanging, litigation-crazed, poorly educated flim-flam artist American ever could, are defending les Francoises.

Second, why hasn't anyone brought up the horse-eating yet :D

[Shitoryu Dude]

Horse is just another meat. Only in the US is it somehow immoral to eat a horse.

Most Brits in my experience have also been far more dismissive of the French than I can even start to be. The two countries loathe each other something fierce.

:beer:

[ScottUK]

Originally posted by kirigirisu
Finding it odd that two Britons, who, as a people, in my experience usually hate the French with more ardor and venom than an evangelical, lawless, gangbanging, litigation-crazed, poorly educated flim-flam artist American ever could, are defending les Francoises.

Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
Most Brits in my experience have also been far more dismissive of the French than I can even start to be. The two countries loathe each other something fierce.
OK then, if it takes one of us to restore your faith.... :D



God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made".

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people", God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small land mass and said "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Britain, the most glorious place on Earth. There are lakes, rivers, streams and hills. The poeple from Britain are going to be modest, intelligent and humourous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance God? You said there will be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the wankers I'm putting next to them in France."


Oops! :D

[Shitoryu Dude]

Why am I not surprised? After all, this is a country that also idolizes the idiocy that was Jerry Lewis. :rolleyes: Perhaps if the majority of his movies weren't mindless, psuedo-intellectual drivel with idiotic plots aimed at 14-year old girls and other neurotic New Yorkers who have never contemplated the possibility of life outside of NYC. Watching a Woody Allen movie is almost as painful as a Barbara Streisand flick or "reality TV".

Woody Allen Says He's Not Famous in U.S.

PARIS (AP) - Woody Allen disagrees with those who think he's a Hollywood legend. The director and actor famed for playing neurotic characters said Tuesday that his star power is far greater outside the United States and that few up-and-coming American filmmakers want to emulate him.

``In my country I have a small, loyal following - very loyal, very small,'' said Allen, who was in Paris to promote his new film ``Anything Else.''

``By most people in the United States I am very reluctantly acknowledged as someone who has been around for a long time and they frankly can't understand what the fuss is about - when there's a fuss.''

``They're kind but very, very unimpressed,'' Allen, 67, said about the majority of American moviegoers.

In Europe and particularly France, Allen is revered. Europeans admire the intellectual nature of his films. His dark humor and psychological themes fit well with local cinematic genres.

Allen said young filmmakers back home have all but ignored him and try to emulate directors like Martin Scorsese - a thought he shared with Scorsese in a recent conversation.

``I was saying to him, it seems to me that everyone in film who
is influenced is influenced by him,'' Allen said. ``I never, never see anybody influenced by me.''

``I don't mind this, it's just a fact,'' he said.

[Kimpatsu]

Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
Of course, without the French we would have to find some other group of obnoxious people to dump on. I'm thinking that the Irish might be a suitable replacement.
Let's try the brash, loud, Americans, first, harvey, with their cultural desert.
Et je suis pas un français caché; j'ai l'honneur d'être europeén!

[Shitoryu Dude]

"Cultural desert"

Tony, tony, tony.....................you have no clue at times. You should spend some time reading up on American history in all its facets - you would be amazed.

:beer:

[Kimpatsu]

Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
"Cultural desert"

Tony, tony, tony.....................you have no clue at times. You should spend some time reading up on American history in all its facets - you would be amazed.

:beer:
America doesn't have any history, Harvery.
Where was America during the 100 years war?
On whose side did America fight at Agincourt?
Where was America when the Romans invaded?
Or when the Celts built Stonehenge?
History? You're a pre-pubescent whelp! :D

[Shitoryu Dude]

We have 500 years of it - considerably more interesting than a pack of inbred Celts who couldn't even keep the French off their shores on a regular basis. ;)

Keep this up and I'll send a wee tyke of a Scotsman over there to make you dodge cabers. :D

:beer:

[Kimpatsu]

Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
We have 500 years of it -
No, you have 228 years of it. Before that, you were an English colony, and that is British history.

Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
considerably more interesting than a pack of inbred Celts who couldn't even keep the French off their shores on a regular basis. ;)
The only reason you didn't have any skirmishes is because you're too far away.
Anyway, Britain hasn't been successfully invaded since 1066--almost 1,000 years, note--unless you count the flood of American trash (McDonald's, third rate movies, Harvey Moul...)

Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
Keep this up and I'll send a wee tyke of a Scotsman over there to make you dodge cabers.
Given the flak I have to dodge on these boards, a wee caber won't present much of a challenge... :D

[Markaso]

Originally posted by Kimpatsu

The only reason you didn't have any skirmishes is because you're too far away.[/QUOTE

And we like it that way!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Kimpatsu

Anyway, Britain hasn't been successfully invaded since 1066--almost 1,000 years,

That should be a hint and if not I will spell it out to you ..... No one wants your land anyway:p

[Kimpatsu]

Originally posted by Markaso
That should be a hint and if not I will spell it out to you ..... No one wants your land anyway:p
This statement is flatly contradicted by all the times people have tried to invade.
Everyone wants America, too; we just don't want the Americans to come with it. :D

[Markaso]

Did they really try or did they abandon their efforts to two things

1) No real worth in the land .......Especially with all the in-breeding done there and a bunch of mad rulers.


2) Heard about how close the french were............


:D

[Kimpatsu]

Originally posted by Markaso
Did they really try or did they abandon their efforts to two things
1) No real worth in the land .......Especially with all the in-breeding done there and a bunch of mad rulers.
Hey, you're the one with D*bya and Hillbilly country...

Originally posted by Markaso
2) Heard about how close the french were............
But in the USA, you're surrounded by Americans!
Europe has had a lucky escape.
There's only three things wrong with Americans:
They're overpaid
They're overweight
They're over here
:D

[Markaso]

Originally posted by Kimpatsu
Hey, you're the one with D*bya and Hillbilly country...
I think their the royal left-overs. But it still beats your neighbors:p





Originally posted by Kimpatsu


But in the USA, you're surrounded by Americans!
Europe has had a lucky escape.
There's only three things wrong with Americans:
They're overpaid
They're overweight
They're over here
:D

I think it was said that you were a closet frenchman somewhere in this post ........ Not true. I believe that you are a closet American and want to become a full fledged American because you are jealous! Well, we are going to lock the doors if we see you coming and we will ship you back so don't even try it!:up:

[Kimpatsu]

Originally posted by Markaso
I think their the royal left-overs. But it still beats your neighbors:p
The Scots? The Welsh? The Irish? :confused:

Originally posted by Markaso
I think it was said that you were a closet frenchman somewhere in this post ........ Not true. I believe that you want to become an American because you are jealous! Well we are going to lock the doors if we see you coming and we will ship you back so don't even try it!:up:
I am going to be the first naturalised American president. Congress will change the Constitution to have me installed.
And my first act will be to correct the egregious spelling errors that you all make... while you're making martinis.
:D

[Markaso]

Originally posted by Kimpatsu
The Scots? The Welsh? The Irish? :confused:


Well there was a lot of in-breeding at the time ....who knows:confused: Who cares?




Originally posted by Kimpatsu
while you're making martinis.


I can safely say that after enough of them they are called martoonies:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[Kimpatsu]

Originally posted by Markaso
I can safely say that after enough of them they are called martoonies:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
They're cartoons? :confused:
If you don't like the French, what of French toast, French fries, French letters, French kisses...
Or do you call them "freedom letters" and "freedom kisses" now?

[Markaso]

Originally posted by Kimpatsu
They're cartoons? :confused:

Obviously You have never reached that state of mind ....... Your loss.


Originally posted by Kimpatsu

If you don't like the French, what of French toast, French fries, French letters, French kisses...
Or do you call them "freedom letters" and "freedom kisses" now?

Maybe that is just what they should be called! But come on, really who were the originaters of those things??

[Kimpatsu]

Originally posted by Markaso
Obviously You have never reached that state of mind ....... Your loss.
I'll have you know I've achieved mu; perfect mindl;essness. (Kinda like a football hooligan.)

Originally posted by Markaso
Maybe that is just what they should be called! But come on, really who were the originaters of those things??
The French. Condoms are named for Le Comte d'Om (the Count of Om), who made the first ever condoms out of pig bladders. He mailed them to his friends; hence, "French letters".
Ironically, French who don't know this use the slang "le capote anglais" (the English cap) to refer to condoms...

[Kimpatsu]

From today's Guardian:
In Britain, houses are expensive, the trains don't work, people are unfriendly and the food is rubbish. That's why Phil Daoust has jacked in his job, upped sticks and moved to France

I chart high on any scale of Britishness. I was born in grubby west London and grew up in a posh village in the home counties. Page three of my passport states that I "have the right of abode in the United Kingdom". I spent almost 40 years of my life in Britain - British schoolboy, British student, British wage-slave. Until this year, the longest I had been out of the country was nine months teaching English in a French high school.
But a few months ago I decided to leave home. I thought it was time for a change, and I wanted to be nearer my daughter, who is growing up in eastern France. I bought a house in a beautiful part of Lorraine, a region that most Britons have never heard of. I have not met one of my compatriots since I moved out here. And you know what? I'm not missing the old country a bit. In fact, the more time passes, the more all those years in Blighty seem like a bad dream.

What is wrong with Britain? How long have you got?

I used to own a flat in London's Docklands - two small bedrooms, a decent-sized living room, a minuscule balcony, no garden. The block's corridors were full of rubbish. The car park was littered with abandoned vehicles. The wheelie bins overflowed into the courtyard every single week. The management company was staffed by halfwits and the whole building was slowly rotting. The poor sods who bought my flat paid more than a quarter of a million pounds. Or, to put it another way, about 10 times the average British salary. Like me, they'll have taken on a huge mortgage to pay for it.

I now live in a ramshackle but cosy cottage on the top of a mountain. It sits in a forest clearing, surrrounded by pine and spruce and birch and ash and beech. Most days, the loudest noise I hear is jays fighting in the treetops. My nearest neighbours are three minutes' walk away. The few passers-by - I have seen no one except the postman for the past two days - stop to tell me that I live in "un petit coin de paradis" - a little bit of heaven. The Vosges mountains may not be famous on your side of the channel, but their pine-scented slopes and crystal lakes are loved by the French, Germans, Dutch, Belgians, even Swiss. I paid over the odds for my house - stupid foreigner - but I still had change from £100,000.

You are not comparing like with like, you say. You lived in the heart of a capital; now you are in the provinces. Well, that is true as far as it goes. But the average house in the UK now costs a shade under £134,000, versus £108,000 in France. And while soaring prices may have left some of you with a nice nest egg, it is murder if you are trying to get on to the housing ladder. Let's get a few other facts and figures out of the way. A survey for Bradford & Bingley last year found that the British worked an average of 8.7 hours a day, versus the French's 7.9. The same report put the cost of living at 7% cheaper in France. And the holidays: Britain, 28 days a year, France - get this - 47.

A newspaper poll last year found that 54% of you would emigrate if you could. Why so few?

The good life is made up of a host of little pleasures and the longer you spend away from Britain, the more you realise how many of them it lacks. Like decent food. Let's not even discuss your restaurants (Have you ever been to a Harvester?). The other morning I went to the supermarket without any clear idea what I was going to buy. In Britain I would have come away with some sort of pasta bake, a pork pie, perhaps a Thai-style stir-fry. I left the Intermarché with potatoes, lamb's lettuce, steaks and wine; that night my daughter and I ate steak au poivre, garlic mash and salad with a light vinaigrette. It was, we agreed, fantastic.

The supermarket reminded me of something else Britain doesn't do. As I wandered the aisles, I got hellos from two women stacking shelves, a man wielding a mop near the dairy counter and the teenager on the checkout. She saw me off with "Au revoir; bonne journée". Can you imagine that level of courtesy in a British supermarket, unless a) the whole staff had just emerged from a company training scheme or b) the manager was hovering somewhere in the background? Walk around Asda or Tesco some time and start saying hello to the employees. The odds are they will be so shocked that they won't know what to say. And when was the last time your postman shook your hand when he delivered your letters, or the local garage owner kissed your cheek when you met her in the street?

This determination to acknowledge other people's existence is not unique to France, though it does gain piquancy from British moans about the "rude" French. If you travel on the Madrid underground, remember to say hello to the man in the ticket office. You are not supposed to demand your ticket as if you were dealing with an automaton.

Credit where credit is due: you Brits are good at modesty. But then you have a lot to be modest about. Even the flag-waving Jim Davidson realises that something is amiss. "We're like the island that time forgot," he sadly told the Radio Times last month.

Take public transport. A few recent headlines from British newspapers: "Power blackout traps 250,000 Tube travellers"; "Weekend of rail chaos 'only just the beginning' "; "Train was 'almost derailed' as it tried to make up time"; "Hundreds of rail station upgrades abandoned in cutbacks"; "Anger as 70-mile train trip takes nine hours in heat"; etc, etc, etc. On the Guardian letters page, a traveller recently returned from Italy reported with wonder "reliable and cheap train services, with modern rolling stock and air-conditioned waiting rooms".

Back in Britain I used to wonder why trains always broke down when I was on them, why every single bus was cancelled on my route, why every bridge I wanted to cross was too wobbly to be open to the public. I still hear about transport problems, but they happen to someone else, at the other end of France. And now I understand: in Britain everything was going wrong for every single traveller, all of the time.

If you want to see how the other half travel, hop on the Eurostar to Paris and take a train - any train - out to the provinces. It will leave on time and arrive on time, come rain, shine or leaves on the line. You will get a seat - a clean seat in a clean carriage. And you will not find Richard Branson pushing a trolley down the aisle for some tacky publicity stunt.

You still have that stupid honours system with its feudal overtones. And you still have people sitting in parliament because their distant ancestor killed a lot of peasants for William the Conqueror. You still cringe and scrape in the presence of a lord, and you still queue all day to "pay your respects" to a dead woman because she was once married to a king. And you have so little faith in the common people - you know, people like you - that you won't trust them to elect your head of state. Roll on the revolution.

Oh. You already had one, didn't you? You didn't like all that freedom. And today it is still illegal to call in print for the abolition of the monarchy. And your Queen is still head of your church. How does that work again?

Britain may not be the only monarchy in the developed world. But it treats its royals with the most reverence, invests them with the greatest mystique. If the Windsors ever get on their bikes like their Dutch counterparts, some toady like Lord St John of Fawsley will immediately be down on his knees, licking the road clean for them.

You still have a lot to be proud of. The grin-and-shrug, we're-all-in-it-together blitz spirit. A language so rich in nuance, synonym and imagery. The media - not the brain-dead TV of Pop Idol and Big Brother, or the tabloids fawning over Posh and Becks, but the broadsheets and BBC radio. The British countryside. The full English breakfast. Tate Modern. Ms Dynamite's lyrics. Cerys Matthews's tonsils. Shakespeare's love poetry. HG Wells. Martin Amis and Tibor Fischer. David Attenborough. Bob Flowerdew. Mariella Frostrup, even if she was born in Norway. The Carry On films. Oxford's dreaming spires, Edinburgh's chilly cobbles. But you can live outside Britain without cutting all links with its culture. There is the internet, and satellite broadcasts, and books from Amazon, and cut-price flights when only a personal visit will do.

You don't actually have to live in Britain to enjoy it - in fact, it's easier if you don't.

[TimoS]

"When God wanted to create the most beautiful Country in the World, he created France. Then He messed it up by creating the French". :D [/B]

I mailed that quote to a french friend of mine and he replied with this joke:

God created earth and all its countries...

First (as usual) the English started complaining:

"I say dear gawd! What is the deal here? Why are we stuck on this wet, cold island when neighbouring France has twice the space and warm weather? And how come we have no mountains? I mean it hardly seems fair that the only way to get some decent snow to ski on is by going all the way to Scotland and still, there's no decent slope and we have to freeze our balls off all the time! Why is it that France has both the Alps AND the Pyrenees (And that's not counting the Vosges, the Juras and other "lesser" mountain ranges that still dwarf our silly Ben Nevis in the height of sctoland) and we get a stupid puny little range that's only good for keeping the rainclouds firmly over our soil?!! NOT FAIR WE SAY!!"

Then came the time for the Germans to complain too:

"ACH Mein GOTT!! WAS IST DAS! Wot is the deal hier? OK, we get parts of the alps, unlike the inglisch, butt wot apout the sea? We get some silly little stretch up north and we can't even go schwimm in it because it is so damt ¤¤¤¤ing freezing all the time! In France, you have provided the mediterranean for warm schimms and sunbathing, and then, as if that was not enough, you gave a HUGE coastline of wavy Atlantic Ocean for all water activities! Das ist just NICHT FAIR! WE DEMAND EQUALITY!"

Then came the turn of the Spanish:

"Olé Padre, wot did we do to deserve this? OK, we got the pyrenees, but hey, only the south side with not much snow (Though much more then the eengleesh.. hihihi), and we gotta pleeeenty of waaarm sea shore, thanks for that, but boyo!, we got noooting else! The rest of the country is just a freaky large desert! Look at France, just the other side of the Pyrenees, with their lush green fileds and fertile lands! WHY oh WHY deed you putta eet all there??!? IT IS NOT FAIR!!!"

All that noise the Europeans were doing caused thge Americans to join in:

" Why GODDANGIT GOD! What da eck is the deal here? OK; we got EVERYTHING france has, but MAAAN, we have to travel thousands of miles to get anywhere! In France, you just hop from mountains to the sea, to the fields, everything is so damn close and handy, For most of us, we have to travel further then the Germans to get to some warm sea... This just plain ain't fair!"

So god thought long, and he thought hard on how to correct this great injustice... He didn't want to start all over, and besides, he did make France his masterpiece.. HE was so proud of it, he could not find any piece he wanted to take away... So he found the perfect solution that made everything fair again... And that's how God created the French!

[TimoS]

Originally posted by Heli
We Finns think we're better than Swedes...

No, we don't think so, we know it to be true ;)

[Kingu]

Originally posted by TimoS
So god thought long, and he thought hard on how to correct this great injustice... He didn't want to start all over, and besides, he did make France his masterpiece.. HE was so proud of it, he could not find any piece he wanted to take away... So he found the perfect solution that made everything fair again... And that's how God created the French!

Héhéhé... :D