Shitoryu Dude
27th October 2003, 17:10
1. You sigh and say "whatever", not to be smart, but because you're too damn tired to argue about it.
2. You stop wishing your genitalia were something they aren't, and are just glad that you don't have to use them for a living.
3. Same with your brain. And talent. And lower back.
4. Liver & onions aren't half bad if properly cooked. Trouble is, most people don't know how to cook them.
5. Doesn't anybody know how to make a dry martini?
6. This (whatever) is just too !!!!ing sweet.
7. You have no motivation whatsoever to eat stuff that is painfully spicy or causes gastric upset.
8. You know the difference between various types of fine wines, cigars, and enemas.
9. Tough it out? The hell with that. Give me Novacaine. Lots of Novacaine.
10. Hey! You kids! Off the lawn!
11. Snow sucks.
12. Why should I do it myself when there are so many enthusiastic workers in the world I can pay to do it?
13. You will vote for anyone who will lower the capital gains tax.
14. You think it's funny as hell when you see young men wearing baggy pants with boxer shorts sticking out the top and their baseball cap on backwards, and you think of a drill sergeant kicking the snot out of them.
15. The public execution of villains is not as repugnant an idea as it used to be.
16. You ponder whether medical marijuana will help your ouchy places. Who cares if you get high?
17. You get *real* mercenary when contemplating the opposite sex.
18. You realize that you will never have as many dogs or cats in your life that you want.
19. You are probably going to do pretty much what you do now for the rest of your life. But less everything.
20. When someone young and cute smiles at you, your first thought is to check your fly.
21. If it wasn't for TV, you would go to sleep even earlier. As it is, you still haven't seen "The Tonight Show" in years.
22. Judging from how things have changed in your life, your grandparents must have been born in a cave.
23. After attending a family reunion, you wonder how many of your kin still do.
24. You can spell words like "hemorrhoid" without thinking about them first.
25. You really appreciate the idea that a "wild" animal is an adult, but a "domestic" animal never emotionally matures.
2. You stop wishing your genitalia were something they aren't, and are just glad that you don't have to use them for a living.
3. Same with your brain. And talent. And lower back.
4. Liver & onions aren't half bad if properly cooked. Trouble is, most people don't know how to cook them.
5. Doesn't anybody know how to make a dry martini?
6. This (whatever) is just too !!!!ing sweet.
7. You have no motivation whatsoever to eat stuff that is painfully spicy or causes gastric upset.
8. You know the difference between various types of fine wines, cigars, and enemas.
9. Tough it out? The hell with that. Give me Novacaine. Lots of Novacaine.
10. Hey! You kids! Off the lawn!
11. Snow sucks.
12. Why should I do it myself when there are so many enthusiastic workers in the world I can pay to do it?
13. You will vote for anyone who will lower the capital gains tax.
14. You think it's funny as hell when you see young men wearing baggy pants with boxer shorts sticking out the top and their baseball cap on backwards, and you think of a drill sergeant kicking the snot out of them.
15. The public execution of villains is not as repugnant an idea as it used to be.
16. You ponder whether medical marijuana will help your ouchy places. Who cares if you get high?
17. You get *real* mercenary when contemplating the opposite sex.
18. You realize that you will never have as many dogs or cats in your life that you want.
19. You are probably going to do pretty much what you do now for the rest of your life. But less everything.
20. When someone young and cute smiles at you, your first thought is to check your fly.
21. If it wasn't for TV, you would go to sleep even earlier. As it is, you still haven't seen "The Tonight Show" in years.
22. Judging from how things have changed in your life, your grandparents must have been born in a cave.
23. After attending a family reunion, you wonder how many of your kin still do.
24. You can spell words like "hemorrhoid" without thinking about them first.
25. You really appreciate the idea that a "wild" animal is an adult, but a "domestic" animal never emotionally matures.