PDA

View Full Version : Another 25 signs that you have "grown up"



Shitoryu Dude
27th October 2003, 18:10
1. You sigh and say "whatever", not to be smart, but because you're too damn tired to argue about it.

2. You stop wishing your genitalia were something they aren't, and are just glad that you don't have to use them for a living.

3. Same with your brain. And talent. And lower back.

4. Liver & onions aren't half bad if properly cooked. Trouble is, most people don't know how to cook them.

5. Doesn't anybody know how to make a dry martini?

6. This (whatever) is just too !!!!ing sweet.

7. You have no motivation whatsoever to eat stuff that is painfully spicy or causes gastric upset.

8. You know the difference between various types of fine wines, cigars, and enemas.

9. Tough it out? The hell with that. Give me Novacaine. Lots of Novacaine.

10. Hey! You kids! Off the lawn!

11. Snow sucks.

12. Why should I do it myself when there are so many enthusiastic workers in the world I can pay to do it?

13. You will vote for anyone who will lower the capital gains tax.

14. You think it's funny as hell when you see young men wearing baggy pants with boxer shorts sticking out the top and their baseball cap on backwards, and you think of a drill sergeant kicking the snot out of them.

15. The public execution of villains is not as repugnant an idea as it used to be.

16. You ponder whether medical marijuana will help your ouchy places. Who cares if you get high?

17. You get *real* mercenary when contemplating the opposite sex.

18. You realize that you will never have as many dogs or cats in your life that you want.

19. You are probably going to do pretty much what you do now for the rest of your life. But less everything.

20. When someone young and cute smiles at you, your first thought is to check your fly.

21. If it wasn't for TV, you would go to sleep even earlier. As it is, you still haven't seen "The Tonight Show" in years.

22. Judging from how things have changed in your life, your grandparents must have been born in a cave.

23. After attending a family reunion, you wonder how many of your kin still do.

24. You can spell words like "hemorrhoid" without thinking about them first.

25. You really appreciate the idea that a "wild" animal is an adult, but a "domestic" animal never emotionally matures.

Ron Rompen
28th October 2003, 03:54
Excellent list, Harvey, and the scary part is that I can relate to most of those.

Guess I really -=AM=- getting (almost) mature.

poryu
28th October 2003, 09:23
I think you forgot this one

when you realise you have become the person as your father (examples below)

turn that music down
not you can go out
no you cant have any more money
no you cant stay up
Your not going out dressed like that

Amazing how an 8 year girl reflects you when you was a kid and you now reflect your father - scary

Shinma
28th November 2003, 14:54
12. Why should I do it myself when there are so many enthusiastic workers in the world I can pay to do it?

I have always thought this way, and I'm only 23. Glad I figured that one out early on.

rinpoche
1st December 2003, 19:02
Although you never want to get so old you confuse an enema with a fine wine.

kirigirisu
3rd December 2003, 07:16
1, 2, 3, 8 (sans enema), 11, 13, 15, 16, and 20 apply.

I'm nearly 40% of the way there. :cry:

I don't think #12 will apply anytime soon as the level of incompetence in the SoCal workforce is astounding.

Much easier and less expensive and time-consuming to do it yourself than hire someone to eff it up, fire them, hire a replacement that effs it up, but not quite as bad as the first one, fire them, and wind up doing it yourself anyway.

Shitoryu Dude
3rd December 2003, 07:28
Do what everyone else does; outsource it to a 3rd world country where they are willing to do anything for $5.

:beer:

kirigirisu
3rd December 2003, 07:34
Hmm.

I hear India's a popular place for outsourcing. Fairly well-educated and competent workforce willing to work for a pittance.

In fact, most "technical support" and "customer service" departments for some of the bigger corporations are now based in India. The seem to know their stuff much better than the typical minimum wager with attitude they used to sit behind the phone banks.

The "Apu from the Simpsons" accent is a bit disconcerting at first though, but they get the job done right quick, usually the first time.

PwarYuex
3rd December 2003, 08:06
Originally posted by poryu
Amazing how an 8 year girl reflects you when you was a kid

Surgery is amazing.

larsen_huw
3rd December 2003, 10:40
Originally posted by kirigirisu
...

The "Apu from the Simpsons" accent is a bit disconcerting at first though, but they get the job done right quick, usually the first time.

Over in the UK most calls are routed through to India, and most of the time you never know.

They have very little accent and are given daily updates about the weather, topical news, what's happening in popular soap operas, etc. so that to the average punter, it's impossible to tell that your call has been routed half way round the world.

And even with all this the companies make a saving of about 40%!

kirigirisu
4th December 2003, 00:00
You Brits must be getting the higher-quality third-parties, then.

We Yanks are notoriously cheap bastards.

Profit margin, and all.