PDA

View Full Version : Nihongo bloopers Hall of Fame



John Lindsey
5th November 2003, 17:49
The misuse of the Japanese language by martial artists can often result in humorous phrases not intended by the author.

For instance, the "author" Stephen Kaufman named his school "Dojo no Hebi" which translates into something like "Place of Practice's Snake" instead of the "Dojo of the Snake" (Hebi no Dojo) he had intended.

What are your favorite bloopers?

Dave Lowry
6th November 2003, 21:49
Mr. Lindsey,
I ride herd on a Japanese cultural festival in St. Louis that requires large monthly meetings to organize and plan. At one, a participating group proposed to sell small Japanese toys as part of a fund-raiser. They mentioned ohajiki sets and some other standard toys and I suggested they include the ball-and-cup thingy called kendama. Only I pronounced it “kintama.” The latter, as you probably know, translates as “golden balls,” a decidedly vulgar reference to exactly the part of the male anatomy you assume. The majority of the room being comprised of native speakers of Japanese at the time, the assemblage broke up into hysterical laughter.

This past festival, four—four—years later, I pass a couple of bon odori dancers in my golf cart and stop to ferry them back to the dressing room. Before we’ve gone fifty feet, one of them casually asks me if I’m still trying to peddle those gold balls. I’ll be living it down the rest of my life.

Cordially,

Meik Skoss
6th November 2003, 22:19
Instead of "selling" your golden balls, you could've asked her if she just wanted to rent them for a little while. Or mentioned that they'd gone from "gorudo" to "prachinum" in the meantime. *That* probably would've gotten a reaction, huh?

Kimpatsu
6th November 2003, 22:46
Look at all the people who call a kick "geri", which means "diarrhoea". A kick is keri; the "k" hardens to a "g" only when prefaced by another word (e.g., mawashi geri, gyaku geri, etc.)

Jock Armstrong
7th November 2003, 00:15
I've been shallow enough to have a giggle at "geri waza".


I'm shallow, deeply shallow.:beer:

cybermaai
7th November 2003, 00:48
A couple months after I began dating the Japanese woman who has since become my wife, we took a trip to Tsuwano in western Japan. I wanted to see the Jingasa Hakubutsukan (folk museum) but was unable to find it. I asked my girlfriend to ask somebody, and couldn't understand why she seemed so reluctant. It turned out I had said Chingesa, but she thought I said Chinge Hakubutsukan, or pubic hair museum. We later had a good laugh about it, the image of some of Japan's famous specimens displayed prominantly on cotton balls under glass.

In another story, a good friend, when comparing population, told a class of eighth graders that Japan's chinko is bigger than Canada's. I'm sure those students never saw her the same way again.

Dave Lowry
7th November 2003, 15:46
Okay, how about this one: A few years ago, on the morning of the final day of the Japanese Festival aforementioned in my previous post, I was sitting at a booth with a calligrapher. Tanabe-san would, as part of a fund-raiser, write whatever the purchaser wished on t-shirts bought at other festival booths. Talented shodoka, but he got cranky at people who demanded he use “real Japanese” to write their names instead of katakana. So he'd do the ateji thing. But he’d be more and more “creative” as the festival went on.

So we’re sitting there talking and up walks a guy with a big smile on his face to tell Tanabe “Just wanted to let you know how much I thought of that calligraphy you did of my name the other day.” And he turns over his forearm to we can see he’s gone to a tattooist who has very accurately transferred Tanabe’s characters onto this character’s epidermis. Still so fresh the skin is pink and puffy and shiny, the ink perfectly black. We both just kind of nodded and pointedly did not look at one another.

And the guy wanders off, still happy, wearing for the first day of the rest of his life on his skin the characters that sound out “Charlie” or to be more accurate “cha-I-ri” or to be more accurate still, “tea-coloured intestines 3.927 kilometres long.”

Snowtiger
7th November 2003, 19:35
I heard a story about a karate "master" who had studied Goju-ryu and Shotokan, and he founded (of course) a new style. He decided to name it after the two base styles, Gokkan-ryu. I have been told, this means something like "The raper style" or similar? :eek: :D

Kimpatsu
10th November 2003, 04:18
Originally posted by Snowtiger
I heard a story about a karate "master" who had studied Goju-ryu and Shotokan, and he founded (of course) a new style. He decided to name it after the two base styles, Gokkan-ryu. I have been told, this means something like "The raper style" or similar? :eek: :D
Gokan (‹_Š_) means rape.

Earl Hartman
10th November 2003, 22:52
He should have named it "Gokkun Ryu" instead. That would have REALLY gotten a laugh.

I have a tie clip that reads "Issha Zetsumei", a famous kyudo saying coined by Awa Kenzo, a pre-war kyudo teacher most famous for his association with Eugen Herrigel. The literal meaning is "One Shot, Life Ends", expressing the idea that at the moment of shooting one should exert all of one's faculties, that is, put one's entire life into that one shot.

A Chinese woman at work saw the characters on the tie clip, inclined her head to read it, and immediately recolied with a look of horror on her face. I asked what was wrong, and she asked, incredulously, what on earth I was doing wearing a tie clip that read "Kill Him With One Shot".

I also found out (from this same person, actually) that "kintama" (golden balls) are gifts of money one recieves on Chinese New Years. For the life of her, she couldn't understand why the Japanese had named their private parts after a New Years gift.

C'mon, Mike and Dave. Hit me with your best shot.

Kimpatsu
11th November 2003, 00:50
Originally posted by Earl Hartman
He should have named it "Gokkun Ryu" instead.
That suggestion's hard to swallow.
And it leaves a nasty taste in the mouth.
:D

Pete Knox
11th November 2003, 01:03
Oooh. I thought that might be what it meant, as that is one of the few words I do know, but now I know for sure. Yikes!

Then again, if he opens it up in the right part of town, he might get quite a few "potential students." ;)

Kimpatsu
11th November 2003, 01:09
Originally posted by Pete Knox
...Then again, if he opens it up in the right part of town, he might get quite a few "potential students." ;)
Naw, he'd just blow them off... :D

Earl Hartman
11th November 2003, 01:32
Originally posted by Pete Knox
Oooh. I thought that might be what it meant, as that is one of the few words I do know

"Gokkun" is one of the few words you know?

Where in the Sam Hill have you been studying Japanese?

Anyway, in spite of the use to which this word is put in certain circles, it just means "gulp", as in "glug, glug". It does not necessarily mean ahhhh....uhhhh...ummmm....(**koff, koff**).... ahem...errrr....

Well, you know what I mean.

Kimpatsu
11th November 2003, 01:55
Originally posted by Earl Hartman
"Gokkun" is one of the few words you know?
Where in the Sam Hill have you been studying Japanese?
Straight from the horse's mouth.
And it's a real mouthful.

Pete Knox
11th November 2003, 14:18
Originally posted by Earl Hartman
"Gokkun" is one of the few words you know?

Where in the Sam Hill have you been studying Japanese?


Obviously at my "streetcorner" Berlitz ;)

I had seen a book in my local B&N called something to the effect of "street Japanese" or "Real Japanese" and it had a whole bunch of words like that...that is the only one I really remembered, mostly because it reminded me of "Gokkyo", which I had heard of through Aikido.

Earl Hartman
11th November 2003, 19:42
Well, you had better be very, very careful. Not to be a party-pooper or anything, but I feel that I must strongly advise you to NOT under any circumstances, "try out" any of that "real Japanese" on any real Japanese people, hoping to impress them with your language skill. They will, almost certainly, immediately decide that you are some kind of disgusting lowlife, and they will wonder about what sort of milieu you inhabited to have picked up such vile language.

It reminds me of stories I have heard about GIs in the Occupation returning to the US, later meeting some Japanese people, trying out their Japanese on them, and wondering at the unbelieveing hilarity or embarrassed silence with which their attempts to communicate were met. These GIs, having no formal langauage training, were completely unaware that they spoke Japanese like common prostitutes, a result of having spent most of their free time at brothels and bars.

We now return you to our regular programming. Carry on.

Meik Skoss
11th November 2003, 22:51
Speaking of GIs and their (sometimes hilarious) Japanese, I recall an instance when I was crossing the intersection at Ginza 4-chome, just in front of Wako Department Store. A 20-ish guy, about 190 cm. tall, a good 95 kg. (i.e., buffed), obviously military, and his lady friend were walking and talking. He'd was quite fluent and articulate, but had clearly learned his Japanese from her (and maybe other) "ikiteiru jibiki" because he sounded *exactly* like she did, right down to the "atashi wa ... ne..." and "iya da..."

It was all the rest of us could do to keep a straight face. I admire him for his work learning how to speak the lingo, but he really did sound just like a girlie-girl. On t'other hand, I've met a couple of women who obviously learned their Japanese after practice at nomi-ya of various types. Kind of startling to hear, "ore" and "oi" from the gal, a cultured (and very nice) person.

Then again, there was the time I mentioned to the wife of my teacher that the telephone was "isogashii" rather'n "hanashi chu" -- took her about twenty minutes to stop laughing.

Pete Knox
11th November 2003, 23:13
Originally posted by Earl Hartman
Well, you had better be very, very careful. Not to be a party-pooper or anything, but I feel that I must strongly advise you to NOT under any circumstances, "try out" any of that "real Japanese" on any real Japanese people, hoping to impress them with your language skill.

Oh, I agree wholeheartedly. First off, I can't imagine what position I would be in where I would need to use that type of language; also, my Japanese is so rudimentary that I wouldn't be speaking to anyone at all, unless we were talking about budo or practicing counting to ten. :D

I am just so happy when I see a word or phrase I actually recognize that does not have the word "kata" in it.

Earl Hartman
12th November 2003, 00:00
Great story, Meik. It reminds me of the time, very soon after I had first arrived in Japan, when I went into a restaurant and asked for "samui" water, since it was quite hot and I was very thirsty. (Forgot that "samui" is for the weather and "tsumetai" is for stuff.) The waitress, needless to say, didn't understand me, so with increasing impatience, I asked again and again, completely unable to understand why she couldn't understand a simple request in her own language. After all, I repeated it over and over again VERY LOUDLY and S-L-O-W-L-Y, just to make sure she would understand! And my Japanese teacher had told me I had a really good accent, so it couldn't be MY fault! What was her problem, dammit!

I finally got my water, but throughout the meal I was obsessing over what HER problem was.

Of course, after getting out of the restaurant and taking a few steps along the street, I have my D'OH!! satori and can think of nothing but finding the nearest hole into which to quietly crawl.

Mark Tankosich
12th November 2003, 04:25
Ok, here's one of mine.

Not long after I move to Hiroshima, my wife-to-be and I are walking through the shopping district one Sunday. She is kindly allowing me to speak Japanese with her. She sees and greets several people that she knows, and I, excited to be able to use the new phrase I recently learned, look at her and exclaim, "Kao ga hidoi desu nee!"

Went over real well.....

Mark

Kimpatsu
12th November 2003, 04:33
Originally posted by Mark Tankosich
Not long after I move to Hiroshima, my wife-to-be and I are walking through the shopping district one Sunday. She is kindly allowing me to speak Japanese with her. She sees and greets several people that she knows, and I, excited to be able to use the new phrase I recently learned, look at her and exclaim, "Kao ga hidoi desu nee!"
That's ugly, Mark.
:D

Earl Hartman
12th November 2003, 06:06
Oh man.

BRUTAL.

:eek:

Mark Tankosich
12th November 2003, 07:28
Hi Earl, hi Tony,

Yeah, your comments pretty much sum it up! :(

Mark

Snowtiger
12th November 2003, 08:07
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
Gokan (‹_Š_) means rape.

Yeah, actually the double-'k' in my post was my typo, because there isn't any reason for it, when you pick go from goju and kan from shotokan. So it probably was Gokan-ryu anyway. :D


Originally posted by Mark
"Kao ga hidoi desu nee!"

Translation for us linquistically limited, please!

Kimpatsu
12th November 2003, 08:10
Originally posted by Snowtiger
Translation for us linquistically limited, please!
"What ugly faces!"

Dave Lowry
12th November 2003, 16:27
At least Mr. Hartman was speaking Japanese… Since I heard a lot of Hawaiian pidgin at the same time I was exposed to Japanese, I sometimes still mix one language with the other.
Was once with a friend in Japan and asking him about another acquaintance’s keiki. His what? Keiki. What’s your problem? You don’t understand a simple word like keiki? No, he didn’t, because of course it is the Hawaiian and not the Japanese word for “child.”

Can’t believe no one’s brought up the kon-yoku/konnyaku bon mot. A classic.

I think Mr. Lindsey had in mind more budo-related bloopers. Two come to mind. One concerns a JKA guy I used to know, who had a small dojo out in rural mid-Missouri. He had a pronounced rural accent of the region as well. After lining up his class, sitting and bowing, he would give the command for mokuso, “calm your mind,” to announce the period of quiet. But with his accent, it always came out “Makisu!” bellowed in that militaristic karate-ish way. I was at his class with a visiting Japanese karateka who afterward asked me why the instructor had been yelling for a bamboo kitchen mat.

And then there was the fellow who proudly handed me his card, announcing him in both written English and Japanese kanji as the Shihan and Chief Instructor of the ***** Dojo. He’d had the cards printed himself, he said, even looked up the words to get the right kanji. The kanji he’d used for “dojo,” however, was the one referring to the little fish that lives in muddy streams.

Cordially,

Ellis Amdur
12th November 2003, 16:49
During an intimate moment, I reached up to touch the cheek of my lovely paramour and complimented her on her beautiful skin. "Anata no ke wa kiree desu." She leapt up and in a panic, started examining her cheek in the mirror.

The word for skin is, in fact, "hada." Along with the touch, I said, essentially, "The hair on your face is pretty." Needless to say, that was the end of that evening - and relationship.

Ellis Amdur

BC
12th November 2003, 19:51
There is an aikido dojo in the southern U.S. that I occasionally visit. The instructor is a very pleasant man and capable practitioner, and has a strong strong southern accent. He always pronounces ukemi as "ukimi." According to my sources, ukimi means wretched life or life of misery.

I chuckle inside when I hear him compliment someone on their nice ukimi.

rinpoche
12th November 2003, 20:28
I am not so much with the Nihongo, but I do try to get my pronunciation as good as possible with the littel I do know.

Anyway, I have heard several jujutsu teachers pronouncing the word uke as "yuki" which I bleieve means snow.

Not exactly a Japanese story, but my arnis teacher is an American. My wife is Filipina. Apparently his pronounciation is so bad that my wife can't even understand what he's talking about.
An example is Bigay-galang (sp?) which he pronounces (BE-gig-U-lan) but my wife tells me is pronounced (be-GUY-GU-lang) not even close.

Earl Hartman
12th November 2003, 20:33
Regarding ugly faces:

What Mark was trying to say to his fiancee was "Kao ga hiroi desu ne" (literally, "Your face is wide"). It is a colloquial expression that means the person knows a lot of people and is well connected. He was trying to compliment her on the number of people she knew. Saying that a person "has a wide face" is also a way of complimenting them on their influence in the community. In other words, he was complimenting his finacee on being a gantze macher, a "mover and shaker".

What he actually said was "Kao ga hidoi desu ne" (literally "Your face is awful; that is, "you look like the back of a bus.").

Not something one would normally say to one's future wife, usually.

After kendo practice one day, one of the guys came up to me saying "Oi, Hahtoman, nyuuyoku, nyuuyoku!" I heard this as "Hey, Hartman, New York, New York!" I had already told them I was from San Francisco, so I couldn't understand why he was asking me if I was from New York. What he was really saying was "Hey, Hartman, time for a bath", "nyuuyoku" meaning, literally, "enter the bath". (The police dojo was equipped with a big o-furo, so we would all bathe after practice.)

So, anyway, I said, "I'm not from New York, I'm from San Francisco." He stopped dead in his tracks, stared at me for a few moments like I was out of my mind, knit his brows in concentration, and then, as the dawn broke, immediately dissolved in hysterical laughter. As I stood there wondering what the Sam Hill was going on, he yelled "Hey, guys, listen to what Hartman just said!", and I had to endure the sound of about 20 guys falling all over themselves in helpless mirth.

Not only that, I had to go into the o-furo after all of that. For a while afterwards, they would sometimes just look at me, smirk, say, "Nyuuyoku", and break up all over again.

Bastards.

Pete Knox
12th November 2003, 23:21
Originally posted by BC
There is an aikido dojo in the southern U.S. that I occasionally visit. The instructor is a very pleasant man and capable practitioner, and has a strong strong southern accent. He always pronounces ukemi as "ukimi." According to my sources, ukimi means wretched life or life of misery.

I chuckle inside when I hear him compliment someone on their nice ukimi.

However, if you don't practice your "ukemi" well, when you do get thrown you may feel like "ukimi" is the appropriate choice. ;)

Mark Tankosich
13th November 2003, 00:33
Earl,

Thanks for explaining my story...You did a better job than I could have.

Incidentally, I also had a similar "nyuuyoku" experience.:)

Best,

Mark

renfield_kuroda
13th November 2003, 02:00
We always start practice with "mokuso!" as well...unless the 'mo' gets dropped accidently, starting the class with the imperative to sit calmly in seiza and 'sh*t!'

Regards,

r e n

Kimpatsu
13th November 2003, 02:26
Originally posted by renfield_kuroda
We always start practice with "mokuso!" as well...unless the 'mo' gets dropped accidently, starting the class with the imperative to sit calmly in seiza and 'sh*t!'
You mean your practice is a load of crap? :D

Tomoleoni
14th November 2003, 11:29
One (of my many) blooper:

I was supposed to go to a special practice one day, but ended up not being able to because the father of one of my students passed away and I had to go to the funeral. I said to my instructor, "Ashita, keiko ni korarenai. Sojiki ni ikenakerebanaranai." His reply- "Huh?" Me- (once more, enunciating more clearly)"Sojiki ni ikenakerebanaranai." Him- (a bit more emphatic) WHAT? Me- (thinking my Japanese was too casual, quickly making it more formal) "O-sojiki ni ikenakerebanarimasen."
Him- "What ARE you talking about??" Me- "You know, when someone dies and they have a ceremony....."
I had mistaken sojiki-vacuum for soshiki-funeral. His final reply- "BAKA"

Lisa Tomoleoni

Kimpatsu
14th November 2003, 14:17
Originally posted by Tomoleoni
One (of my many) blooper:
I was supposed to go to a special practice one day, but ended up not being able to because the father of one of my students passed away and I had to go to the funeral. I said to my instructor, "Ashita, keiko ni korarenai. Sojiki ni ikenakerebanaranai." His reply- "Huh?" Me- (once more, enunciating more clearly)"Sojiki ni ikenakerebanaranai." Him- (a bit more emphatic) WHAT? Me- (thinking my Japanese was too casual, quickly making it more formal) "O-sojiki ni ikenakerebanarimasen."
Him- "What ARE you talking about??" Me- "You know, when someone dies and they have a ceremony....."
I had mistaken sojiki-vacuum for soshiki-funeral. His final reply- "BAKA"
Lisa Tomoleoni
Guess you cleaned up there.
But don't worry; your comment is now dead and buried.
:D

Earl Hartman
14th November 2003, 19:32
Well, I guess he had to suck it up and go.

:D

shinobi77
15th November 2003, 01:27
Hi everyone,

I've refrained from posting so far since most of my blooper experiences pale in comparison and aren't exactly training related, but I figured I'd give two of my favorites up. When I was in high school, i had the opportunity to study Japanese from my Sophomore year on. When i was a Junior we had the good fortune of having two Japanese language instructors teach at our school. Being in high school, the inevitable search for Japanese slang reared it's head at an early point. One of my classmates (Eric) in particular took a particular liking to such words (which, surprisingly, paralleled his affection for truancy and smoking in the lavatory). One class we were utilizing directional words, such as ushiro, mae, etc. As we were working (in pairs), Eric had a sudden foggy rememberance. He kind of looked up at me, cocked his head, and in a semi-loud voice simply said "Shirinoana!". I looked at him and, quietly, told him to shut up. Of course, he looks at me and asks even louder "Shirinoana! What does it mean?" By this time most of the room could hear him and multiple students were telling him to shut up. After repeating this several times one could see the look of shock on poor Ms Yamada at the front of the class. To boot, our American head teacher was unfamiliar with said terminology and tried to put two and two together by dissecting the words. Eventually she figured it out and Eric did too- after the literal translation was directed AT him a few times. Needless to say, Yamada Sensei's year in America didn't go exactly as she expected, so she returned home after her year contract was up. She did stay in contact with our other Japanese Sensei, Ms Yamamoto. Later the next year we were informed that Yamada sensei was getting married, and we all had a card to sign. To shorten an already lengthy post, Yamada Sensei was what you would affectionately refer to as a "close talker". For some reason, even more so when we were studying health, such as "Dou shimashitaka". This was another favorite saying that Eric (and admittedly the rest of us) picked up on and laughed about and said in our childish high school ways- 2 inches from the face of another classmate. So, Eric thought it would be appropriate to write "DOU SHIMASHITAKA!!" on her congratulations card...fortunately we stopped him in time.

I'm well aware that when I make my first visit to Japan I will be payed back in spades.

:)

Sincerely,
Jed Konopka

Tea Guy
16th November 2003, 18:41
....Wow. Those are quite some stories.
Nothing interesting like that ever happens to me.
The most that ever happens to me is when my Japanese finds its way into my English, like when I'm trying ot say something in English, but I use Japanese grammar. Or when a Japanese word expresses a certain thing better than an English word, I sometimes use the Japanese word without a second thought, only to realize what I've said after.
Yeah, Japanese interferes with my English sometimes, but it's just fine with me.

C. Sieg

JakobR
18th December 2003, 10:59
During an international naginata seminar I got a bit embarased about one of my swedish students who did not line up properly. In a sharp tone I told him to get back in line, that in swedish is "Backa, backa!". A japanese sensei heard the word "Baka! Baka!" and gave me and my student quite a look.

Mekugi
18th December 2003, 12:39
The Dojo's Snake...The Snake's Dojo??
Both sounds very strange.

Originally posted by John Lindsey
The misuse of the Japanese language by martial artists can often result in humorous phrases not intended by the author.

For instance, the "author" Stephen Kaufman named his school "Dojo no Hebi" which translates into something like "Place of Practice's Snake" instead of the "Dojo of the Snake" (Hebi no Dojo) he had intended.

What are your favorite bloopers?

A phonecall made five years ago to my friends mother....

Mine "Hello this is Russ. I am staying at the Chikan Hotel"

Of course, I meant Chisan....not Chikan (meaning pervert).

Steve Delaney
24th December 2003, 07:15
Last year I was working at a few elementary schools in Ageo city. For one of the classes, I had to attend cooking class with the 3rd year students. That day's recipe was to learn how to make Oinari Zushi, a dish usually eaten with sushi. It's a kind of fried tofu parcel with rice inside.

Half way through the lesson, I asked the teacher; "Sensei Onara zushi no tsukuri kata wo oshiete kudasai."

I was wondering for weeks why all of these little kids were laughing their arses off.

Kimpatsu
24th December 2003, 07:18
Are you sure you weren't just trying to blow off the class, Steve? :D

Steve Delaney
24th December 2003, 08:02
With the garlic and cheese pizza I had the previous night, maybe :D

Kimpatsu
24th December 2003, 08:04
Originally posted by Saitama Steve
With the garlic and cheese pizza I had the previous night, maybe :D
...Not forgetting all the alcohol...
:beer:

Tripitaka of AA
13th February 2004, 06:32
All of you that have given the story without the translation are ever so irritating! :mad: Now I shall have to ask my Japanese wife to explain, and she'll probably laugh herself silly and still refuse to say why for a couple more days, pah!

I was in the Hotel restaurant with my new wife and Mother-in-Law during my first visit to Japan. I was keen to show that I wasn't a complete cripple when it came to language, and could operate with some level of independence. When it came time to leave the table to answer a call of nature I simply excused myself and went to find a toilet. I asked the waitress, who after some confusion sent me to the fairly obvious location. I returned to my seat and my wife said "What did you say to her?", I nonchalantly replied, in my best accent "O-tearai, o-kudasai" which I'm told means something like "I'll have a toilet, please" (the correct phrase would, I think, have been "Sumimasen, O-tearai wa doko desu ka?", meaning "excuse me, where is the toilet?"). A shaking of the head from my wife and a withering look from the mother-in-law followed the chuckles and my reddening face.


I feel uneasy telling the next one as it concerns my Sensei, but he has had to face it many times by now and is probably over it. He is Malaysian Chinese, and can be mistaken for Japanese (it is a Japanese Martial Art, Shorinji Kempo), so it sometimes surprises visiting Japanese Sensei when he does not react to their speaking to him in Japanese. The embarassing part comes when he is introduced to them. His family name is Jee, which sounds disconcertingly like the Japanese word "Ji" ("haemerroids"). So even when using the "Sensei" suffix, it can still come across as a joke name at first. Some giggles and uncomfortable looks usually accompany his introduction to new people. Fortunately, he is now very well known in the Japanese headquarters and the likelihood of him having to go through the same routine is gradually diminishing.



My work colleague was from the Ukraine. Her name is Oksana. She used to have Japanese lodgers renting rooms in her house. When a Japanese man would introduce her to his friends, they would frequently mis-hear the name and for an instant believe that it was his new wife ("oku-san" = wife). Actually, "kanai" would be "my wife", and "oku-san" would be "your wife", so the confusion could get even more comical...

Tri-ring
16th March 2004, 00:40
Konichiwa Everyone,

I found this article within the Japan Times this morning.
I think if you combine your efforts(?);) you people will be able to publish a book.
Second edition will be titled Japanese with English bloopers!
have fun.

Japan Times (http://www.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/getarticle.pl5?fl20040316gt.htm)

George Kohler
16th March 2004, 04:29
Originally posted by Tri-ring
Konichiwa Everyone,[/URL]

Tri-ring,

Welcome to E-budo. Some readers can not read Kanji, so please sign your name in Romaji.

Jeff Hamacher
17th March 2004, 06:32
as a follow-up to the diarrhea strand, my Japanese teacher told me the story of an eager language student who was dining in a sushi restaurant and wanted to order more gari (pickled ginger) while showing off her brilliant linguistic competence to her friends in the process. she shouted, "Geri wo kudasai!!!", reducing every Japanese speaker in the house to fits of laughter.

my second example of overeager language practice gone awry comes courtesy of an assistant English teacher meeting his school's principal. looking to make a good first impression, the AET attempts the conversation opener, "So, what did you do yesterday evening?", by uttering the Japanese question, "Yuube, o-nani shimashita ka".

the third and final example comes from my own reserve ... i was expressing to my now-mother-in-law the gratitude i felt over my then-girlfriend, now-wife's efforts to carefully correct a Japanese speech i was going to give that week. i told her solemnly that Emi had been terribly busy all afternoon at my apartment with me, "seikou wo shiteimashita." thankfully, my mother-in-law is a former English teacher and saw the glaring error for what it was (or did she?).

Daniel Lee
17th March 2004, 06:50
Oh boy Jeff,

That "what did you do last night?" thing made me laugh!

I did exactly the same thing studying a new jujutsu kata with a Japanese guy I hardly new, and didn't understand what my hands should be doing. With a year of Japanese study under my belt I was pretty confident I could handle the situation, and asked te de o-nani wo shimasu ka? Had a hard time finding a training partner that day! :confused:

Mekugi
17th March 2004, 13:15
ANNNNDD what's wrong with a good old 'o-nani? ;)

Kimpatsu
18th March 2004, 07:12
Originally posted by Mekugi
ANNNNDD what's wrong with a good old 'o-nani? ;)
You're very self-satisfied with the answer. :D

Mekugi
18th March 2004, 08:12
You would think with all the oyaji at the dojo, they would be like "I use my right hand...":p

Brian Owens
18th March 2004, 08:52
Originally posted by Jeff Hamacher
...wanted to order more gari (pickled ginger)...
I hope I haven't been making a Nihongo blooper; I thought pickled ginger was shoga.

Mekugi
18th March 2004, 10:23
Shoga is just ginger (?¶›I). You can use this to order gari though (I don't know the kanji for gari so pardon).


Originally posted by Yagyu Kenshi
I hope I haven't been making a Nihongo blooper; I thought pickled ginger was shoga.

Mekugi
18th March 2004, 12:11
BTW...I neglected to add this, you commonly use "gari" when you're in a sushi bar...outside the bar you use shoga (which includes regular and pickled ginger).
Make sense?


Originally posted by Mekugi
Shoga is just ginger (?¶›I). You can use this to order gari though (I don't know the kanji for gari so pardon).

Tri-ring
18th March 2004, 13:29
Konbanwa everyone

Gari is a argot or " Ingo " that crept out of the sushi bar. Others are " Agari " means tea (like a cup of coffee after the meal), "Oaiso" means check.
Others I can remeber at the moment is "Gyoku" means egg roll, and I think " Toro" the most fatty part of the tuna is one of these argot as well.
Have fun ! !

Kimpatsu
18th March 2004, 23:19
Kosuke, you were asked to sign your name in Romaji, as not everyone can read Japanese.
TIA,

Anchan
31st March 2004, 16:09
A funny one I witnessed was when I was travelling by train on a local branch line in Hiroshima-ken.
An acquantance of mine who fancied himself as a bit of a master of the language (despite only having begun studying less than 6 months previously), was being stared at by a group of Japanese folk - as was common in rural Hiroshima, where White Man rarely treads.

Anyway, he started getting a bit agitated, and when he could take no more he got up and shouted "Watashi ha ninjin desu" - (I am a carrot).

He mistook ningen (human being) for ninjin (carrot).

This confirmed the belief in the watching Japanese, that us foreigners are a strange bunch.

Oh, how we laughed.....

Exorcist_Fist
4th April 2004, 06:56
I will be the first to admit that after two years here, my Japanese remains really bad, but I am happy to say the only joke I have not gotten was the "yuube" one.

Anyway, here is my story. My wife and I lived in SF, and spent a lot of the holidays there with my brother's in-laws. One of the guys there was a pachinko fanatic, much to his wife's distress. When he found out that my wife and I were moving to Tokyo, he got really excited, and in his excitement made a pronunciation mistake when he asked us if we could find him a job as a "Chinko Repairman".

My response was that I was sure I could, but I don't think his wife would be happy that he would find such work so stimulating.

That was of course after my wife and I fell out of our seats, and then had to explain why to a table of 20 people.

Vile
15th April 2004, 09:44
I don't know if the people I've met have just been able to keep a straight face, or if I've actually been lucky enough not to make any silly mistakes. I know I've made a lot of mistakes, but usually they just render my talk incomprehensible, not funny.. Oh, well.. not sure which is worse.

I have, how ever, once forgotten my goverment (seifu) home, instead of my wallet (saifu), when I went to a shop.. Other time I was trying to be very supportive to a friend, who sighed deeply and said that she had problems ("komatteru"). She gave me a long look when I said I was very sorry that if there was anything to do, I'd be happy to help. After thinking for a while she bursted into laughter and said that there's propably little I can do. What she infact had said was "kumotteru", "it's cloudy", which it indeed was.

My roommate was complaining during his aikido training that his garlic is a bit sore ("ninniku wa chotto itain desu..") instead of his muscles ("kinniku...").

The most embarassing story, I have to tell, happened a friend of a friend. While I don't know the poor fellow I've understood that he only knows a few words in Japanese. Being an fan of Japanese entertainment, the thing that bothered him was the difference between seppuku and harakiri (a question that propably is in the top 10 of any samurai related internet discussion group). Well, as it happens he has a Japanese woman working in the same company and after one meeting encourages himself and walks to the woman in middle of a crowd and pops the mind boggling question. But alas, Herr Dr. Freud plays his little trick and instead of asking what he was thinking (or maybe exactly what he was thinking? :) ) he asks "What's the difference between seppuku and bukkake?". Story goes that there was a long embarassing silence and lot of blushing, first by the Japanese lady and after he realized what he just asked, from the inquisitive fellow too...

leoboiko
22nd April 2004, 21:31
I've heard of a Japanese Aikido teacher in Brazil who often said to his students to "shirukuru". They wondered a lot what kind of oriental mistery was "shirukuru", until someone realized he was just asking them to move in a "circulo" (Portuguese for "circle").


This one is from the Kanji Clinic (http://www.kanjiclinic.com/contest.htm):

Karate enthusiasts pose as future farmers

One of my past-times is studying Japanese Martial Arts. As a part of this I have been learning bits of Japanese here and there.

I was discussing Japanese Caligraphy with a Japanese friend of mine. He pulled out a martial arts magazine that had some stern looking Westerners in Karate uniforms sitting in seiza in front of a callligraphy print.

My friend informed me that the Kanji translated into "Welcome to the Japanese Agricultural Department." He thought this was the funniest thing he had ever seen.

A site visitor in Australia

Daruma
28th April 2004, 19:40
I will be the first to admit that after two years here, my Japanese remains really bad, but I am happy to say the only joke I have not gotten was the "yuube" one.

Think its the Onani part you want to check out.