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william northcote
5th January 2004, 11:26
Yep, from the ever popular I ask, U Answer, then U ask..... thread, we may as well have some fun in telling jokes.

So shall we?

What goes black white black white black white black white?

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 11:28
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Yep, from the ever popular I ask, U Answer, then U ask..... thread, we may as well have some fun in telling jokes.

So shall we?

What goes black white black white black white black white?

Michael Jackson rolling down a hill? :D

william northcote
5th January 2004, 11:31
Close, an penguin rolling down a hill

Your go :D

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 11:33
ummmm ....

any rules on rudeness? :D

while i wait for clarification on that ...

What's the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?

william northcote
5th January 2004, 11:38
Okay no rude, racist or homophobic jokes or a bashing of any e-budo user or any true MA practitioner. Jokes about Ashida Kim (within moderation) may be allowed, if deemed funny. :D


What's the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? A better score in scrabble?

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 11:40
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Okay no rude, racist or homophobic jokes or a bashing of any e-budo user or any true MA practitioner. Jokes about Ashida Kim (within moderation) may be allowed, if deemed funny. :D

spoilsport! :D you've just taken away most of my arsenal! :)


Originally posted by Will Northcote
A better score in scrabble?

nope. one sells watches, the other watches cells! :D

Your go.

william northcote
5th January 2004, 11:45
Originally posted by larsen_huw
spoilsport! :D you've just taken away most of my arsenal! :)


I aim to please.

What is black and white and read all over?

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 11:49
Originally posted by Will Northcote
I aim to please.

What is black and white and read all over?

Michael Jackson after he's been on a sunbed too long? :D

or a newspaper .... or a sunburnt penguin.

william northcote
5th January 2004, 11:53
Answer is...

A newspaper. But Micheal Jackson is sound, or by the claims he has made recently, very much Mickey Mouse 'I was beat up. Got any cheese?'

Again your go

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 11:54
What's long, hard and full of seamen?

william northcote
5th January 2004, 11:56
Big Gay Al on Angel dust.

Ooooopps broke the rule...

A submarine, or a mariner after 6 months out of dock.

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 12:00
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Big Gay Al on Angel dust.

Ooooopps broke the rule...

A submarine, or a mariner after 6 months out of dock.

To be honest, i'd accept any one of your answers ...

does this mean i get a rule break as well? :D

Your question.

william northcote
5th January 2004, 12:02
Well with moderation. :p

Okay Groucho Marx said that he could never eat on________

What is the answer :D

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 12:05
The floor?

Sundays?

The Moon?

God knows! :)

Anyone else thinking the thread should be re-titled "Huw & Will amuse themselves" ... or would i need to use up my rule break to suggest that? :D

william northcote
5th January 2004, 12:13
Originally posted by larsen_huw
The floor?

Sundays?

The Moon?

God knows! :)

Anyone else thinking the thread should be re-titled "Huw & Will amuse themselves" ... or would i need to use up my rule break to suggest that? :D

Well you amuse yourself in your own time. But the answer remains.

william northcote
5th January 2004, 12:42
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Well with moderation. :p

Okay Groucho Marx said that he could never eat on________

What is the answer :D

Okay Huw, the answer is....

He never eats on an empty stomach.

Another joke: What ends everything?

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 12:44
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Okay Huw, the answer is....

He never eats on an empty stomach.

Another joke: What ends everything?

the letter g? :D

william northcote
5th January 2004, 12:47
Your question Huw, make it a good one.

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 12:51
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Your question Huw, make it a good one.


ooooooo .........


What do you do if a herd of elephant come over the hill towards you?

william northcote
5th January 2004, 12:53
Originally posted by larsen_huw
ooooooo .........


What do you do if a herd of elephant come over the hill towards you?

Is there a herd of just one elephant or is it a typo?

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 12:56
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Is there a herd of just one elephant or is it a typo?

i beleive elephant is like like sheep .... in that you have 1 elephant, a herd of elephant ... but i could be wrong! :)

If this is all too much like grammar lessons, use 'lots of the bastards' insted! :D

william northcote
5th January 2004, 12:58
Run like mad, mostly in that direction --->>

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 13:00
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Run like mad, mostly in that direction --->>

Swim for your life, try not to swallow! :laugh:

opps ... that might of used up my rule break! :D

Your question ... but i'm off to lunch ... will be back within the hour (if my boss catches me, i will! :D ).

william northcote
5th January 2004, 13:02
Bad. bad joke :D

What was the name of Kenny everetts large handed minister on TV?

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 14:20
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Bad. bad joke :D

What was the name of Kenny everetts large handed minister on TV?

i dunno. (well that was worth posting! :D )

william northcote
5th January 2004, 14:39
YES

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 15:13
Originally posted by Will Northcote
YES

ok.

me no get?!?!

The Kenny Everett character was called "Yes"?

Or have i run out of brain cells?

:confused:

william northcote
5th January 2004, 15:57
Originally posted by larsen_huw
ok.

me no get?!?!

The Kenny Everett character was called "Yes"?

Or have i run out of brain cells?

:confused:

Brother Lee Love

Do you not know your British comedy history?

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 16:00
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Brother Lee Love

Do you not know your British comedy history?

no. (apart from Red Dwarf)

william northcote
5th January 2004, 16:06
hehehe

His American General with large shoulderpads and more medals on his chest has a great catchphrases.

"Best think aboout driving a tank, is you can park it anywhere."

"Let's put them in a field and bomb the bastards." :D

So go on then smeg head, your joke :p

larsen_huw
5th January 2004, 16:12
What's got 2 legs and bleeds?

And when you get a minute could you yay/nay my answer in the real I Ask, You Answer thread. Ta.

Julian Gerhart
6th January 2004, 01:15
A PERSON WHOSE ENTIRE BODY IS COVERED WITH GIANT FESTERING STAB WOUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

larsen_huw
6th January 2004, 09:24
Originally posted by Julian Gerhart
A PERSON WHOSE ENTIRE BODY IS COVERED WITH GIANT FESTERING STAB WOUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

close ...

1/2 a dog.

:D

william northcote
6th January 2004, 09:27
Bad joke Huw, I was going to say my ex :(

What had 4 legs and one arm? :D

larsen_huw
6th January 2004, 09:28
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Bad joke Huw, I was going to say my ex :(

What had 4 legs and one arm? :D

an orgy at an amputee's convention? :D

william northcote
6th January 2004, 10:25
Nope A rottwieller.

What is the difference between a rottwieller and a social worker?

larsen_huw
6th January 2004, 10:27
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Nope A rottwieller.

What is the difference between a rottwieller and a social worker?

social worker only has 2 legs?

william northcote
6th January 2004, 10:30
Ooooh close

You can get you kids back from a social worker :laugh:

larsen_huw
6th January 2004, 10:31
Why do women have legs?

larsen_huw
6th January 2004, 16:18
well you've seen the mess snails make

william northcote
6th January 2004, 18:45
Now that is a bad joke.

Anyone else with any jokes?

PeteBoyes
7th January 2004, 08:20
What's the difference between a tractor and a giraffe ?

larsen_huw
7th January 2004, 08:40
Originally posted by PeteBoyes
What's the difference between a tractor and a giraffe ?

i dunno.

PeteBoyes
7th January 2004, 11:01
One's got hydraulics, the other has high....

Another,

What's the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl ?

Gloi
7th January 2004, 14:34
What's the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl ?

one shoots and can't hit, the other hoots a lot.


What's green and eats nuts?

larsen_huw
7th January 2004, 16:02
Originally posted by Gloi
What's the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl ?

one shoots and can't hit, the other hoots a lot.


What's green and eats nuts?

Syphalis! :D


What's blue and doesn't fit?

monkeyboy_ssj
7th January 2004, 16:04
Herpes!

What do you can a Dog with 4 legs and 6 steel balls?

Sparky!

larsen_huw
7th January 2004, 16:05
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
Herpes!

What do you can a Dog with 4 legs and 6 steel balls?

Sparky!

Beat you to it! :p

:D

monkeyboy_ssj
7th January 2004, 16:08
I bet that's what you say to all the boys...:D


Originally posted by larsen_huw


What's blue and doesn't fit?

A pair of jeans that are too big? :D

Gloi
7th January 2004, 17:27
What's blue and doesn't fit?

a dead epileptic.

william northcote
7th January 2004, 17:38
Originally posted by larsen_huw
What's blue and doesn't fit?

Smurfette on drugs wanting a quickie in a nightclub :D

larsen_huw
8th January 2004, 09:00
Originally posted by Gloi
What's blue and doesn't fit?

a dead epileptic.

bingo ...

Alison got it right.

Although Will does get a mention for artistic impression! :D

Your joke Alison.

Gloi
8th January 2004, 09:46
what's a man got that's 9" long and drives a woman wild with pleasure?

monkeyboy_ssj
8th January 2004, 10:07
Originally posted by Gloi
what's a man got that's 9" long and drives a woman wild with pleasure?

erm, I think my answer is too simplistic and rude :D

How about a 50 note? ;)

Cheers

william northcote
8th January 2004, 12:05
Originally posted by Gloi
what's a man got that's 9" long and drives a woman wild with pleasure?

Can not be his manhood as 1 inch is more like 1 cm

His pay cheque :D

monkeyboy_ssj
8th January 2004, 12:11
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Can not be his manhood as 1 inch is more like 1 cm


Speak for yourself Huw...*Ka flop* :D

larsen_huw
8th January 2004, 14:13
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
Speak for yourself Huw...*Ka flop* :D

oi! Keep me out of any of Will's member comments! :)

Gloi
8th January 2004, 14:15
Will Northcote quote:

His pay cheque

monkeyboy_ssj

How about a 50 note?

Close enough - His cheque book.

william northcote
8th January 2004, 14:41
A man was digging a hole and his neighbour came up.
"Whatcha doing?"
"Digging a grave" came the reply.
"What's it for?"
"Canary" replied the digger.
"Bit big for a canary is that."
"I know" the digger claimed placing the shovel on the ground "It's in your cat."

Reet here is the question:

What do you do if a rottweiller is humping your leg?

larsen_huw
8th January 2004, 14:47
Originally posted by Will Northcote
...
What do you do if a rottweiller is humping your leg?

fake an orgasm

***anyone notice a distinct downwards spiral of the tone here?***

What's green and goes up and down? :)

william northcote
8th January 2004, 14:49
Originally posted by larsen_huw
fake an orgasm


No. You let him finish :D

But keep going.

Kaoru
14th January 2004, 05:36
Originally posted by larsen_huw
fake an orgasm

***anyone notice a distinct downwards spiral of the tone here?***

What's green and goes up and down? :)


Hi there!

It's an Inch Worm! :)

Kimpatsu
14th January 2004, 05:50
Originally posted by larsen_huw
What's green and goes up and down? :)
A gooseberry in a lift.

larsen_huw
14th January 2004, 09:12
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
A gooseberry in a lift.

That's the closest so far.

I'll give you that. :)

The answer i had in mind was 'a golf course in a lift' ... but no-one's wierd enough to think that far out the box! :D

Your go Tony.

Brian Owens
14th January 2004, 09:20
Originally posted by larsen_huw
...The answer i had in mind was 'a golf course in a lift' ... but no-one's wierd enough to think that far out the box! :D ...
I was going to say "A putting green during an earthquake" but I got distracted and forgot to come back. I guess I'm almost wierd enough. :D

Kimpatsu
15th January 2004, 02:33
Originally posted by larsen_huw
That's the closest so far.

I'll give you that. :)

The answer i had in mind was 'a golf course in a lift' ... but no-one's wierd enough to think that far out the box! :D

Your go Tony.
What's pink and hard first thing in the morning?

Brian Owens
15th January 2004, 06:28
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
What's pink and hard first thing in the morning?
"Rosebud!"

Kimpatsu
15th January 2004, 06:51
Originally posted by Yagyu Kenshi
"Rosebud!"
Wrong answer. Try again.

PeteBoyes
15th January 2004, 08:02
The Financial Times crossword ?

PeteBoyes
15th January 2004, 08:28
Assuming I am correct....

What's the difference between Light and Hard ?

Kimpatsu
15th January 2004, 08:52
Originally posted by PeteBoyes
The Financial Times crossword ?
Bingo! Spot on, Pete.

Kimpatsu
15th January 2004, 08:54
Originally posted by PeteBoyes
Assuming I am correct....
What's the difference between Light and Hard ?
You can sleep with the light on?

PeteBoyes
15th January 2004, 09:21
Yep!, back to you for the next Q.

Kimpatsu
15th January 2004, 10:26
Originally posted by PeteBoyes
Yep!, back to you for the next Q.
Q. What do women and police cars have in common?

monkeyboy_ssj
15th January 2004, 10:32
They contain constable(s)? (think about the sound off it) terrible I know...only thing i can think off...

Kimpatsu
15th January 2004, 10:45
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
They contain constable(s)? (think about the sound off it) terrible I know...only thing i can think off...
No; and it's nothing to do with truncheons, either.

larsen_huw
16th January 2004, 14:25
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
No; and it's nothing to do with truncheons, either.

You're usually handcuffed when you ride in a police car? :)

Gloi
16th January 2004, 15:22
let's try

If you see one, you know there's a c*nt around somewhere.

If your wife finds out you had a ride in one after a night out, you'll be in deep sh*t.

They make a loud noise to let you know they're coming.

One will always come past just as you are taking a piss in a doorway.

william northcote
16th January 2004, 19:39
Originally posted by Gloi
One will always come past just as you are taking a piss in a doorway.

I hope this is not experience through personal observation :D

Kimpatsu
17th January 2004, 00:34
Nobody's got it yet, so I'll offer a hint:
Think Doppler.

Brian Owens
17th January 2004, 05:59
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
Nobody's got it yet, so I'll offer a hint:
Think Doppler.
The sound of their wailing gets higher when they're coming.

Kimpatsu
17th January 2004, 06:07
Originally posted by Yagyu Kenshi
The sound of their wailing gets higher when they're coming.
Close enough; "The both moan louder as their closer to coming".
Your question, Brian.

Brian Owens
17th January 2004, 07:05
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
"The both moan louder as their closer to coming".
As their what is closer to coming? :D

Originally posted by Kimpatsu
Your question, Brian.
Okay. Hmm.

Ah. Got one.

For what does the formula below solve?

Kimpatsu
17th January 2004, 07:11
Originally posted by Yagyu Kenshi
As their what is closer to coming?
Oops; I cut and pasted the answer from the website where I found the joke. Sorry!

Brian Owens
17th January 2004, 08:09
Originally posted by Yagyu Kenshi
For what does the formula below solve?
Scratch all the above. I'm in the wrong thread. :cry:

I forgot this is the comedy "I Ask, U Answer" thread, and the above was a technical question. I hang my head in embarassment.

Brian Owens
17th January 2004, 08:15
Okay, in keeping with Tony's question:

How are Jello and women alike?

william northcote
17th January 2004, 08:18
Originally posted by Yagyu Kenshi
Okay, in keeping with Tony's question:

How are Jello and women alike?

Dunno, unless you eat some very good looking sandwitches ;)

These jokes are getting a bit dodgy of late :o

Brian Owens
18th January 2004, 09:14
Well, 25 hours later and only one attempt, by Will.

Originally posted by Yagyu Kenshi
How are Jello and women alike?
Jello jiggles when you eat it.

Honorable attempt award to Will. Take it away!



--Brian "Dodgy Jokes" Owens

william northcote
18th January 2004, 20:15
Guess the punchline

An Englishman, Scottishman and an Irishman were on a desert island, stranded and only themselves for company.

One day on the beach they spot an old oil lamp. The Scottishman gives it a rub, and Lo, as if by magic an genie appeared.

"I will grant you one wish each" boomed the voice of the genie.
"Right, as I am English, I will go first" Barged the Englishman waggling his handlebar moustache and being pompous "Okay I want 120 million pounds, a large estate in the country, loads of women andto be back home."
"Large wish" said the Genie, and in a puff of strange looking fractal smoke, the Englishman vanished into the highlife.

The Scottishman gave his wish "Same as his, but I want it in bonnie Scotland, with women, loads of beer, whiskey for the rest of my life or i'll do ya in with a Glasgow kiss."

"Talk about abuse of power" muttered the Genie as the Scottishman dissapeared in the fractal smoke [well it is a Genie, what you expect a puff of smoke?].

Now the Irishman was as thck as two short planks [No not your stereotypical Irishman, just a general idea of Irish], he thought of what he most desired, to have for his very own.

"I wish for..."

So now you have to guess the punchline :D

Kimpatsu
19th January 2004, 00:48
The Irishman says, "I'm lonely without my two friends. I wish they were both back here on this desert island with me."
How's that?

william northcote
19th January 2004, 08:54
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
The Irishman says, "I'm lonely without my two friends. I wish they were both back here on this desert island with me."
How's that?

Yep your go :D

Kimpatsu
19th January 2004, 08:57
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Yep your go :D
Just to take this thread back to its tacky origins:
Q. Why can't women read maps?

william northcote
19th January 2004, 08:58
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
Just to take this thread back to its tacky origins:
Q. Why can't women read maps?

I have no idea :p

larsen_huw
19th January 2004, 12:41
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
Just to take this thread back to its tacky origins:
Q. Why can't women read maps?

urrr ....

I've heard this one before ....

i think it's something to do with scale.

i.e. only blokes can get their heads round the idea of one inch equalling one mile.

Kimpatsu
19th January 2004, 12:50
Originally posted by larsen_huw
urrr ....

I've heard this one before ....

i think it's something to do with scale.

i.e. only blokes can get their heads round the idea of one inch equalling one mile.
Bingo!
Huw, your question.

larsen_huw
19th January 2004, 12:57
What's pink and red and sharp and sits in the corner crying?

monkeyboy_ssj
19th January 2004, 13:24
Originally posted by larsen_huw
What's pink and red and sharp and sits in the corner crying?

Me after playing with my Katana?

larsen_huw
19th January 2004, 13:42
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
Me after playing with my Katana?

Close enough.

A baby with a razor blade was what i was looking for.

Your go mate.

monkeyboy_ssj
19th January 2004, 13:58
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

larsen_huw
19th January 2004, 14:05
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

Three...one to mix the cookie dough and two to squeeze the rabbit.


That the answer you were after?

monkeyboy_ssj
19th January 2004, 14:06
Originally posted by larsen_huw
Three...one to mix the cookie dough and two to squeeze the rabbit.


That the answer you were after?

Sorta 5...one to mix the dough and 4 to peal the smarties!

It'll do! Your go...

larsen_huw
19th January 2004, 14:21
What's the difference between your penis and your annual bonus?

william northcote
19th January 2004, 14:53
Originally posted by larsen_huw
What's the difference between your penis and your annual bonus?

Your penis comes more than once a year... in theory ;)

larsen_huw
19th January 2004, 14:56
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Your penis comes more than once a year... in theory ;)

Nope. Try again.

It's got something to do with how a spouce might react to these items! :D

Gloi
19th January 2004, 15:08
No bloke ever thinks his is big enough.

larsen_huw
19th January 2004, 15:11
Originally posted by Gloi
No bloke ever thinks his is big enough.

[Roy Walker style Irish accent]

oooo ... it's good, but it's not the one.

[/Roy Walker style Irish accent]

Keep guessing. If no-one's close by 4:30 today i'll post up the answer and a new joke/question.

larsen_huw
19th January 2004, 16:08
Originally posted by larsen_huw
What's the difference between your penis and your annual bonus?

After 10 years of marriage your wife'll still be desperate to blow your bonus! :D


What goes from green to pink at the flick of a switch?

monkeyboy_ssj
19th January 2004, 16:22
Originally posted by larsen_huw
After 10 years of marriage your wife'll still be desperate to blow your bonus! :D


What goes from green to pink at the flick of a switch?

A green and pink light?

larsen_huw
19th January 2004, 16:23
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
A green and pink light?

nope.

monkeyboy_ssj
19th January 2004, 16:25
Frog in a blender?

larsen_huw
19th January 2004, 16:36
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
Frog in a blender?

bingo! your question.

monkeyboy_ssj
19th January 2004, 16:41
Originally posted by larsen_huw
bingo! your question.

What's grey and comes in buckets?

Mike Williams
19th January 2004, 16:59
An elephant!

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Cheers,

Mike

monkeyboy_ssj
19th January 2004, 17:03
Originally posted by Mike Williams
An elephant!

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Cheers,

Mike

DUNG!

Heh heh, old one from monty ;)

What's white and hairy and scrapes at plastic?

larsen_huw
20th January 2004, 11:18
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
DUNG!

Heh heh, old one from monty ;)

What's white and hairy and scrapes at plastic?

I dunno ... but i got a feeling it might have something to do with Wacko Jacko's nocturnal shenanigans! :)

monkeyboy_ssj
20th January 2004, 13:35
Originally posted by larsen_huw
I dunno ... but i got a feeling it might have something to do with Wacko Jacko's nocturnal shenanigans! :)

nah, Kitten in a Microwave!

You can have a go Huw because I can't think of any!

Cheers

larsen_huw
20th January 2004, 15:37
ummmmmm .......

what do Gary Glitter and Scottish Whiskey have in common?

Kimpatsu
20th January 2004, 15:57
Originally posted by larsen_huw
ummmmmm .......
what do Gary Glitter and Scottish Whiskey have in common?
"Scottish whiskey" doesn't exist; Irish whiskey (with an "e"), but Scotch whisky.
And if you think I'm being pedantic, take it up with a Scotsman...

Mike Williams
20th January 2004, 16:00
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
if you think I'm being pedantic

Surely not!

Tony, pedantic? Perish the thought!

:p

Cheers,

Mike

PS: How come only Brits are replying to this thread?

Kimpatsu
20th January 2004, 16:05
Originally posted by Mike Williams
Surely not!
Tony, pedantic? Perish the thought!
No, I openly admit to being a pedant; accuracy is all. Just don't expect mercy for your mistakes.

Originally posted by Mike Williams
PS: How come only Brits are replying to this thread?
We're the only ones with a sense of humour dumb enough? :cool:

larsen_huw
20th January 2004, 16:09
Tony,

This is suposed to be a humourous thread!

Don't you ever turn you anallity off? :)

I bet if you thought there was the chance of some nookie in it for you you wouldn't go correcting an attractive young lady's mistakes! :D

Kimpatsu
20th January 2004, 16:12
Originally posted by larsen_huw
Tony,
This is suposed to be a humourous thread!
Yes; your mistakes are hilarious!

Originally posted by larsen_huw
Don't you ever turn you anallity off? :)
Do you ever turn OFF your gaffe-prone behaviour?

Originally posted by larsen_huw
I bet if you thought there was the chance of some nookie in it for you you wouldn't go correcting an attractive young lady's mistakes! :D
You lose that bet. Of course I correct them; it adds to my attraction. (Smart is sexy... so sorry!)

larsen_huw
20th January 2004, 16:19
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
...

You lose that bet. Of course I correct them; it adds to my attraction. (Smart is sexy... so sorry!)

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Sorry, pedantic is not sexy, however you look at it.

Kimpatsu
20th January 2004, 16:25
Originally posted by larsen_huw
[BSorry, pedantic is not sexy, however you look at it. [/B]
Thankfully, Huw, you're not my type.
The ladies think differently, however. :cool:

monkeyboy_ssj
20th January 2004, 16:28
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
Thankfully, Huw, you're not my type.
The ladies think differently, however. :cool:

No they don't! Being padantic is one of the biggest turn offs!

Then again the ladies you go with will like whatever you want depending on how much you pay them :D:D:D (hehehehheeee)

Cheers!

larsen_huw
20th January 2004, 16:28
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
Thankfully, Huw, you're not my type.
The ladies think differently, however. :cool:

Didn't realise they went for balding, gnomic, pedantic men who are rapidly approaching their mid-life crisis out in Japan! :D

:p

:eek:

:cool:

Kimpatsu
20th January 2004, 16:32
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
No they don't! Being padantic is one of the biggest turn offs!
Smart is sexy. Pity you'll never know...

Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
Then again the ladies you go with will like whatever you want depending on how much you pay them :D:D:D (hehehehheeee)

Cheers!
Don't think that I need to do what you do, John.

Kimpatsu
20th January 2004, 16:35
Originally posted by larsen_huw
Didn't realise they went for balding, gnomic, pedantic men who are rapidly approaching their mid-life crisis out in Japan!
They may not, but they go for intellectual, Japanese-speaking hunks who practice MA. :cool:

larsen_huw
20th January 2004, 16:39
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
They may not, but they go for intellectual, Japanese-speaking hunks who practice MA. :cool:

I thought MA was seen as a slightly brutal, unnecessary, pointless, outdated and rather nerdy by the Japanese in general?

Kinda like the way we thought of Rugby before we won the world cup.

Admittedly i'm getting that info from a book that was published a few years ago, so there may of been a change of opinion recently ... sort of similar to the way we took to rugby when people realised it was a sport we actually did well at! :)

Mike Williams
20th January 2004, 16:41
So come on Huw, what was the answer?

I've got a good one, if nobody else has...

Cheers,

Mike

Kimpatsu
20th January 2004, 16:45
Originally posted by larsen_huw
I thought MA was seen as a slightly brutal, unnecessary, pointless, outdated and rather nerdy by the Japanese in general?
To be honest, I think that's true all over the world. Right now, it's really "uncool" to like MA.

Originally posted by larsen_huw
Kinda like the way we thought of Rugby before we won the world cup.
Personally, I've always liked rugby as a spectator sport.

Originally posted by larsen_huw
Admittedly i'm getting that info from a book that was published a few years ago, so there may of been a change of opinion recently ... sort of similar to the way we took to rugby when people realised it was a sport we actually did well at! :)
No, you're not wrong; Japanese youth today would rather play Western music and become Americans. It remains to be seen how the trend in samurai/swordplay movies reverses this trend, by making young Japanese think, "Hey, this is cool, trendy, as we invented it!"

monkeyboy_ssj
20th January 2004, 16:46
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
Smart is sexy. Pity you'll never know...


True, but so are good looking young men so I'm ok :D


Originally posted by Kimpatsu

Don't think that I need to do what you do, John.

SHHHHH! you promised you wouldn't tell anyone...Anyway, Big Bertha was very loving...

Anyway, Somthing about loving 10 years old or something?

Cheers

Kimpatsu
20th January 2004, 16:48
Originally posted by Mike Williams
I've got a good one, if nobody else has...
That's not what I heard... ;) :cool: :D

larsen_huw
20th January 2004, 16:50
Originally posted by Mike Williams
So come on Huw, what was the answer?

I've got a good one, if nobody else has...

Cheers,

Mike

ooo ... what was the question again???

Oh yeah!

What do Gary Glitter and Scottish Whisky (better Tony :p ) have in common?

They both come in small tots.


Your go Mike, while i run for cover! :D

Mike Williams
20th January 2004, 16:51
:laugh: That is soooo wrong.

What's white and wriggles across the ballroom floor?

Cheers,

Mike

Kimpatsu
20th January 2004, 16:54
Originally posted by larsen_huw
What do Gary Glitter and Scottish Whisky (better Tony :p ) have in common? They both come in small tots.
My Scotch whisky comes in large tots, unlike Gary Glitter...

Originally posted by larsen_huw
Your go Mike, while i run for cover! :D
As well you should, with jokes like that!
---
Tony Kehoe, President of the Humour Police. Remember: "We're better than the Keystone Cops". :D

Gloi
20th January 2004, 17:59
What's white and wriggles across the ballroom floor?

Come Dancing?

btw smart is a turn on , pedantic is a turn off.

Mike Williams
20th January 2004, 18:03
Your turn, Alison!

Cheers,

Mike

monkeyboy_ssj
20th January 2004, 18:04
Originally posted by Gloi
Come Dancing?

btw smart is a turn on , pedantic is a turn off.

WAI! Read it and weep Tony! We've got the offical verdict from a lovely & beautiful lady ;)

Ja!

william northcote
20th January 2004, 18:05
Originally posted by Gloi
Come Dancing?

I used to watch come dancing on the BBC, and judging by their expressions, some did.

I'll get me coat

Gloi
20th January 2004, 18:07
WAI! Read it and weep Tony! We've got the offical verdict from a lovely & beautiful lady

:kiss:

Continuing along the same dupious path:-
What's white and shoots across the sky?

monkeyboy_ssj
20th January 2004, 18:07
Originally posted by Will Northcote
I used to watch come dancing on the BBC, and judging by their expressions, some did.

I'll get me coat

I used to get nightmares about Masterchef...

Kimpatsu
21st January 2004, 01:11
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
WAI! Read it and weep Tony! We've got the offical verdict from a lovely & beautiful lady ;)
Ja!
She's not Japanese.
BTW, who's question is it?

william northcote
21st January 2004, 01:17
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
She's not Japanese.
BTW, who's question is it?

The question is Alison's. And Tony, they havve not seen us lot yet, and when they do, you will be the discarded reminants of lost love while we do all the hentai movies ;)

Kimpatsu
21st January 2004, 02:07
Originally posted by Will Northcote
The question is Alison's. And Tony, they havve not seen us lot yet, and when they do, you will be the discarded reminants of lost love while we do all the hentai movies ;)
What's Alison's question?
And you'll have to learn Japanese first. :cool:

william northcote
21st January 2004, 02:58
Originally posted by Gloi
:kiss:

Continuing along the same dupious path:-
What's white and shoots across the sky?

See Tony it is Alisons. So keep sthum.

larsen_huw
21st January 2004, 09:35
Originally posted by Gloi
:kiss:

Continuing along the same dupious path:-
What's white and shoots across the sky?

Hailey's Cum-et?

What'll happen first, everyone shooting me for a very poor answer, or Tony pedantically correcting my spelling again? :D

Gloi
21st January 2004, 10:17
not the one I was thinking of, when we were kids we followed this with "what's white and dribbles across the sky". Anyway it's bound to offend someone.

larsen_huw
21st January 2004, 10:19
Something to do with the Milky Way? :)

I think we lost anyone who might be offended a few pages back! :D

Gloi
21st January 2004, 10:48
nope, it's not to do with astronomy.

Brian Owens
21st January 2004, 10:53
Originally posted by larsen_huw
Hailey's Cum-et?

What'll happen first, everyone shooting me for a very poor answer, or Tony pedantically correcting my spelling again? :D
I'll save Tony the trouble.

It's Halley not Hailey; named for Edmund Halley who, in 1705, determined its orbital period. And it rhymes with "alley." Most people say it wrong.

Brian Owens
21st January 2004, 10:57
Originally posted by Gloi
not the one I was thinking of, when we were kids we followed this with "what's white and dribbles across the sky". Anyway it's bound to offend someone.
Hmm. First something that shoots, then something that dribbles. Sounds like basketball humor.

monkeyboy_ssj
21st January 2004, 11:18
Originally posted by Kimpatsu
What's Alison's question?
And you'll have to learn Japanese first. :cool:

I'm with Will, Once they see our amazing good looks and silky smooth charms then language will be no barrier...:cool:

Plus I want to be in a hentai movie :anime nosebleed:

Cheers

larsen_huw
21st January 2004, 16:32
Originally posted by Gloi
:kiss:

Continuing along the same dupious path:-
What's white and shoots across the sky?

cum-corde?

a cum-bo jet?

i really have no idea! :D

monkeyboy_ssj
21st January 2004, 16:35
The Coming of the lord? Lighting 'shooting' across the sky?

Gloi
21st January 2004, 18:02
Monkeyboy got it, followed of course by "the second coming..."

Your turn

monkeyboy_ssj
21st January 2004, 18:12
How do you make a duck into a soul singer?

william northcote
21st January 2004, 18:25
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
How do you make a duck into a soul singer?

Use a pair of boltcutters :laugh:

monkeyboy_ssj
21st January 2004, 18:27
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Use a pair of boltcutters :laugh:

Wha??? *confused*

nope

william northcote
21st January 2004, 18:30
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
Wha??? *confused*

nope

Next time your out at lunch ask for some McNuggets. Thats where you get them from :D

monkeyboy_ssj
21st January 2004, 18:34
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Next time your out at lunch ask for some McNuggets. Thats where you get them from :D

Ewwwwwww! Won't be eating those until I forgot you said that, i.e. in a couple of days ;)

william northcote
21st January 2004, 18:37
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
Ewwwwwww! Won't be eating those until I forgot you said that, i.e. in a couple of days ;)

Not to worry, I will do the quote thing in a few days and remind you again :p :D

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

monkeyboy_ssj
21st January 2004, 18:39
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Not to worry, I will do the quote thing in a few days and remind you again :p :D

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Oh no you wont!

I'll !!!!! a !! !!! !!!!! with a !!!!!!! !!!!!!!! to !!!!!!!!! a !!!! that's the last of that! ;)

william northcote
21st January 2004, 18:45
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Next time your out at lunch ask for some McNuggets. Thats where you get them from :D Well okay but I can do it now as well as in a few days time :D

larsen_huw
22nd January 2004, 13:40
I'm sure there's a joke somewhere in here! :)

oh yeah:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
How do you make a duck into a soul singer?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

larsen_huw
22nd January 2004, 13:42
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
How do you make a duck into a soul singer?

Cook it until its Bill Withers!

hmmmm .... possibly.

Or am i just quacking after the wrong echo! :)

larsen_huw
26th January 2004, 10:10
Seeing as this seems to be dieing out, looks like it's time for one of Huw's special tasteless jokes!


What do elephants use for tampons?

Mike Williams
26th January 2004, 10:22
Sheep!

What's brown and sticky?


Cheers,

Mike

monkeyboy_ssj
26th January 2004, 10:28
Originally posted by Mike Williams
Sheep!

What's brown and sticky?


Cheers,

Mike

A stick?

Or a poo...one of the two...

Cheers

larsen_huw
26th January 2004, 10:34
ooo ... that was quick ... now for Part 2 of my question:

Why do elephants have such long trunks??

P.S. could be parcel tape

Gloi
26th January 2004, 14:09
In case the string comes off the sheep

larsen_huw
26th January 2004, 14:57
Originally posted by Gloi
In case the string comes off the sheep

close ...

"Have you ever seen a sheep with a string?"

Whoever's go who feels like it.

william northcote
13th July 2004, 11:56
Originally posted by larsen_huw
"Have you ever seen a sheep with a string?"


Yes but he would not share.


I'll get me coat

monkeyboy_ssj
13th July 2004, 12:11
What goes "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh"?

larsen_huw
13th July 2004, 12:18
ummmm .... dunno .... maybe a patient at a dentist's? .... but it reminds me of a little ditty:

Tarzan swings,
Tarzan falls,
Jane grabs him by the balls,
Now you know why Tarzan goes:
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

monkeyboy_ssj
13th July 2004, 12:19
Originally posted by larsen_huw
ummmm .... dunno .... maybe a patient at a dentist's? .... but it reminds me of a little ditty:

Tarzan swings,
Tarzan falls,
Jane grabs him by the balls,
Now you know why Tarzan goes:
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Nope!

It's a sheep with no lips :D

Check Please!

larsen_huw
13th July 2004, 12:23
Awesome! :D

Will try and remember that one! :cool:

monkeyboy_ssj
13th July 2004, 12:25
Originally posted by larsen_huw
Awesome! :D

Will try and remember that one! :cool:

next one!

What's Louise short for?

larsen_huw
13th July 2004, 12:28
Buggered if i know.

monkeyboy_ssj
13th July 2004, 12:34
Originally posted by larsen_huw
Buggered if i know.

Because she's got small legs!

Ba doom tish!

william northcote
13th July 2004, 15:44
Originally posted by larsen_huw
Buggered if i know.

Well now you know so be prepared to get buggered.

monkeyboy_ssj
13th July 2004, 15:48
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Well now you know so be prepared to get buggered.

I'll get you some KY...

william northcote
13th July 2004, 15:57
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
I'll get you some KY...

Matt you did the joke so you do the deed :D

and I will bring the camcorder for blackmail later on when I have no money hehehehe

monkeyboy_ssj
13th July 2004, 16:01
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Matt you did the joke so you do the deed :D

and I will bring the camcorder for blackmail later on when I have no money hehehehe

You were the one to jump in with the remark so he's alllllllll yours, plus I don't know where he's been. Actually I do know where he's been and it's even worse...

william northcote
13th July 2004, 16:09
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
You were the one to jump in with the remark so he's alllllllll yours, plus I don't know where he's been. Actually I do know where he's been and it's even worse...

Well if you know where he has been then you may as well pull out Geronimo* and have fun.

*Geronimo: A piece of rubber nicknamed by a old male in a sexual awareness advertisment course. He only had the one mind and was very much into recycling.

Cheque please :D

larsen_huw
14th July 2004, 10:11
When you two have quite finished fighting over my arsehole, can we please get on with the jokes! :)

william northcote
14th July 2004, 10:43
Well this is the comedy thread Huw.

Alrighty then... we needs a joke.

How many ninjas does it take to change a light bulb?

monkeyboy_ssj
14th July 2004, 10:54
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Well this is the comedy thread Huw.

Alrighty then... we needs a joke.

How many ninjas does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they like the dark? :D

william northcote
14th July 2004, 11:01
Yep. Plus I think the ninjas were early goths as well.

Goths in Camden? Hmmmm...

You go Matty

monkeyboy_ssj
14th July 2004, 11:04
How many Kenjutsu people does it take to change a light bulb?

larsen_huw
14th July 2004, 12:19
496?

close?

oh well.

monkeyboy_ssj
14th July 2004, 12:23
Originally posted by larsen_huw
496?

close?

oh well.

18

One to do it and 17 to argue about how he was holding the light bulb wrong and his feet were in the wrong position :D

Your go huw!

larsen_huw
14th July 2004, 12:40
OK .... how does a Soke change a light bulb? :D

monkeyboy_ssj
14th July 2004, 12:46
Originally posted by larsen_huw
OK .... how does a Soke change a light bulb? :D

He doesn't, he invents his own brand new light sourse, promotes in on the net, but turns out to just be some matches taped together.

?

william northcote
14th July 2004, 14:31
Originally posted by larsen_huw
OK .... how does a Soke change a light bulb? :D

Dunno ask the Kohei where the ladders are and he will say how it is done.

larsen_huw
15th July 2004, 13:48
Well the answer i was looking for was:

He reaches up, takes hold of the bulb in an ancient secret bulb grab and then waits for the world to start revolving round him, unscrewing the lightbulb ...

However, both your answers were better.

First person to shout "Gherkin" gets to ask the next joke. :)

monkeyboy_ssj
15th July 2004, 13:54
Gherkin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

monkeyboy_ssj
15th July 2004, 13:59
What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?

william northcote
15th July 2004, 14:26
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?

Your next girlfriend? :p

monkeyboy_ssj
15th July 2004, 14:27
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Your next girlfriend? :p

Oi!!!!

Just becuase she's inflatable doesn't mean she doesn't love me.

william northcote
15th July 2004, 14:31
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
Oi!!!!

Just becuase she's inflatable doesn't mean she doesn't love me.

Somehow I think your lass would be offended by that. After all the foot pump gets more goes with her than you :D

monkeyboy_ssj
15th July 2004, 14:34
Originally posted by Will Northcote
Somehow I think your lass would be offended by that. After all the foot pump gets more goes with her than you :D

Shut it sponge bag.

:D

william northcote
15th July 2004, 14:38
And after some foot pumping your too tired to even think of performing the sordid deed. " minutes of foot pumping and it's off to the vodka and cigarettes. Leaving lovable Sindy with the pump and a nice smile on her plastic face and a well used foot pump at her side.

I'll get your coat Matt :D :p :D

monkeyboy_ssj
15th July 2004, 14:44
Originally posted by Will Northcote
And after some foot pumping your too tired to even think of performing the sordid deed. " minutes of foot pumping and it's off to the vodka and cigarettes. Leaving lovable Sindy with the pump and a nice smile on her plastic face and a well used foot pump at her side.

I'll get your coat Matt :D :p :D

You have got a weird imagination haven't you? Speaking from experience? ;)

I'm only 21 and full of energy God damn it!!! Anyway, I'm off to Ibiza in 2 weeks so look out in the 'Proper place on this board' for my write up, if you catch my drift ;)

Answer:

What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1985 World hide and seek championship winner.

Your go :D

william northcote
15th July 2004, 14:48
An Englishman, Scottishman and an Irishman walked into a bar.

"OI!" said the barman "We are not having any jokes at this time of night.".

how do you confuse an idiot?

monkeyboy_ssj
15th July 2004, 14:52
Originally posted by Will Northcote

how do you confuse an idiot?

Purple.

HOw do you keep and Idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later...

william northcote
15th July 2004, 14:55
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
Purple.

HOw do you keep and Idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later...

No I was thinking along the lines of horse radish being sodomized by Hannalbal Lechter.

william northcote
21st July 2004, 12:49
How many migits does it take to change a light bulb?

monkeyboy_ssj
21st July 2004, 13:48
Originally posted by Will Northcote
How many migits does it take to change a light bulb?

None, coz they can't reach it in the first place ;D

william northcote
22nd July 2004, 08:32
Your go.

Chrono
22nd July 2004, 16:25
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
None, coz they can't reach it in the first place ;D

They can't stand on each other's shoulders to reach it?

Peter H.
22nd July 2004, 16:27
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
None, coz they can't reach it in the first place ;D

I thought it was none because they tell a man to do it for them.

Brian Owens
22nd July 2004, 21:45
Originally posted by Will Northcote
How many migits does it take to change a light bulb?

Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
None, coz they can't reach it in the first place ;D

Originally posted by Peter H.
I thought it was none because they tell a man to do it for them.

I didn't even understand the question. Then when monkeyboy answered I realized the question involved midgets.

william northcote
22nd July 2004, 22:04
Well a migit is a shorter version of a midget.

The Nephilim
1st January 2005, 18:33
A profound bump to anyone that doesn't want to reply.

Q. How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Ron Rompen
3rd January 2005, 00:30
That's easy...and I'm so glad you asked. Let me explain the steps.

1) Prepare an oversize Burmese tiger trap. For those of you who don't know how to MAKE a Burmese tiger trap, give up stopping charging elephants.

2) Take a quick mail-order ninjer course, and declare yourself soke and/or Grandmaster (your choice). Note...this step is VERY important.

3) Travel to the jungle, cleverly disguising yourself as a stand of bamboo. Wait for the charging elephant.

4) When he arrives (and he will), wait till he charges past you. Leap out with a loud scream, and attack with whatever secret ninjer weapon you happen to have handy. As Grandmaster, you are of course a master of all these weapons.

5) When the elephant turns to trample you into mush, run down the trail, shouting ninjer taunts at him (psych-warfare)

6) When you get to the right place, leap over the Burmese tiger trap, and wait for the elephant to fall in.

7) The Burmese tiger in the trap will finish off the elephant.

Mission accomplished.

Brian Owens
3rd January 2005, 07:57
Originally posted by The Nephilim
Q. How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card.

Why did the elephant wear green sneakers (athletic shoes)?

The Nephilim
3rd January 2005, 15:02
Originally posted by Brian Owens
Take away his credit card.

Why did the elephant wear green sneakers (athletic shoes)?

To stop his feet from smelling bad?

Brian Owens
4th January 2005, 04:35
Originally posted by The Nephilim
To stop his feet from smelling bad?
No. The elephant wore green sneakers so no one would see him tip-toeing across the billiards table.

What were Tarzan's last words?

Chrono
4th January 2005, 04:57
Originally posted by Brian Owens
No. The elephant wore green sneakers so no one would see him tip-toeing across the billiards table.

So that's what made the table seem not to be level.

The Nephilim
4th January 2005, 14:59
Originally posted by Brian Owens
What were Tarzan's last words?

Who put that tree there.

Brian Owens
5th January 2005, 07:04
Originally posted by The Nephilim
Who put that tree there.
That works.

The classic answer, though, is "Who greased the vine!!!!"

Your question?

The Nephilim
5th January 2005, 11:57
Originally posted by Brian Owens
That works.

The classic answer, though, is "Who greased the vine!!!!"

Your question?

:laugh:

Okay my question.

A man walks in with a talking dog and sits at the bar. Barman says "Oi you can't bring that dog in here".
"Why not" replied the man "he is my conversaion partner".
"?" Replied the barman.
"Err.. my dog talks".
"Ahhh" came the strange noise from the generic barman "your dog talks?"
"Yes" Came the reply from the pooch on the floor "I do talk".
"You must be one of them ventillo thingys" laughed the barman pointing at the man.
The dog gets up onto the stool and looks at the barman. "I assure you, I do talk. And I am brainy too".
The barman was taken aback, told the other patron to get off his arm and went aforward. "A talking dog with brains? Dont see that every day".
"Oh he is clever. He can do anything we can do".
"Really?"
"Yes" replied the man with the talking dog.
"Okay then lets do a test" The barman goes to the till and gets out 20 and hands it to the dog "Go get me a newspaper. Daily Sport should do. And I want change" he shouted as the dog left through the door.

Time passsed. 20 minutes went by. Then an hour. So the barman and the pub went off looking for the brainy talking dog. They find him down this dark allyway with a dog prostitute.
"Rex" cried the owner "what are you doing with that dog" [details ommited due to decency].

What was the answer given by the dog?

Friday
28th January 2005, 10:11
I need closure on this joke!

The Nephilim
28th January 2005, 23:49
Originally posted by Friday
I need closure on this joke!

No that is not the answer. Guess again.

Brian Owens
29th January 2005, 03:53
Originally posted by The Nephilim
No that is not the answer. Guess again.

That's just plain mean. :p

The Nephilim
31st January 2005, 23:00
Originally posted by Brian Owens
That's just plain mean. :p

Yes, I know.

Chrono
1st February 2005, 03:08
Originally posted by The Nephilim
Yes, I know.

I've gotten to know that side of you more lately.

The Nephilim
1st February 2005, 08:56
Originally posted by Chrono
I've gotten to know that side of you more lately.

Am I evil, yes I am

Metallica

:laugh:

Awww c'mon, is no one going to guess?

Chrono
1st February 2005, 17:43
Originally posted by The Nephilim
Awww c'mon, is no one going to guess?

We're too scared to.

The Nephilim
1st February 2005, 23:30
Originally posted by Chrono
We're too scared to.

You are not, you answered part of my bizarre question :laugh:

Okay, if no one gets it by the end of next year, I will post the answer hehehehehehe

The Nephilim
1st February 2005, 23:33
Originally posted by The Nephilim
You are not, you answered part of my bizarre question :laugh:

Okay, if no one gets it by the end of next year, I will post the answer hehehehehehe

Or until someone else posts about not trying to figure out the answer. Where is Dr. Stupid when you need him?

Oi Matt...

monkeyboy_ssj
2nd February 2005, 10:17
"Missionary...what does it look like?!?"

or

"Hey," says the dog, "I've never had money before."

Chrono
2nd February 2005, 15:36
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
"Missionary...what does it look like?!?"

or

"Hey," says the dog, "I've never had money before."

He's back!!!

monkeyboy_ssj
2nd February 2005, 15:46
Originally posted by Chrono
He's back!!!

*bows*

Thank you, thank you fans ;)

The Nephilim
2nd February 2005, 21:03
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
"Hey," says the dog, "I've never had money before."

Correct. Your go Dr. Stooopid :laugh:

Chrono
2nd February 2005, 23:32
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
"Hey," says the dog, "I've never had money before."

I reread the question and then the answer, and now I think I get it.

The Nephilim
2nd February 2005, 23:35
Originally posted by Chrono
I reread the question and then the answer, and now I think I get it.

Glad you did as it took a while for someone to get it right :laugh:

monkeyboy_ssj
3rd February 2005, 10:24
Right,

A Vampire is walking down the road, and he goes to take a short cut down an alley way. As he does he feels a Chicken Drumstick hit him on the back of the head.

When he turns around no one is there.

"Hmmm strage, oh well." he thinks and carries on walking down the alley way.

As he turns around the corner he feels a boiled egg hit him on the shoulder and a slice of pizza slap on on his back.

Now the Vampire was starting to get a little freaked out so started to walk a little quicker, but by now a steady stream of ham slices, coleslaw and carrot sticks was hitting him all over his body!

He then see's someone jump down from the roof top

"Oh my god!" screams the vampire "it's...

Who is it? ;)

The Nephilim
3rd February 2005, 11:56
Van Hell salad?

monkeyboy_ssj
3rd February 2005, 11:59
Originally posted by The Nephilim
Van Hell salad?

Nope :D

The Nephilim
3rd February 2005, 12:02
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
Nope :D

Me trying to eat a dodgy kebab?

monkeyboy_ssj
3rd February 2005, 12:21
Originally posted by The Nephilim
Me trying to eat a dodgy kebab?

Lol, not quite!

I'll let this run for a little while until someone begs me for to comic genius answer! :D

Brian Owens
3rd February 2005, 12:25
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
"Oh my god!" screams the vampire "it's...
"Ginsu!" (Blade's brother.)

The Nephilim
3rd February 2005, 12:38
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
Lol, not quite!

I'll let this run for a little while until someone begs me for to comic genius answer! :D

you on a Friday night trying to eat a dodgy kebab. :laugh:

monkeyboy_ssj
3rd February 2005, 12:46
Originally posted by Brian Owens
"Ginsu!" (Blade's brother.)

Nope :D

You'll kick yourself when I tell you; I'll give it another couple of hours.


Originally posted by The Nephilim
you on a Friday night trying to eat a dodgy kebab. :laugh:

Nah, i'm highly skilled in the art of chomping and walking at the same time with the aid of an eye patch so I haven't got double vision :D

Brian Owens
3rd February 2005, 12:51
Cuisinart!

Robocoup!

Disposall!


Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
You'll kick yourself when I tell you; I'll give it another couple of hours.

Please! I need to go to bed so I can get to work tomorrow, but now I won't be able to sleep without knowing!

The Nephilim
3rd February 2005, 12:56
Originally posted by Brian Owens
Cuisinart!

Robocoup!

Disposall!



Please! I need to go to bed so I can get to work tomorrow, but now I won't be able to sleep without knowing!

And that is what you get for living far, far away.

monkeyboy_ssj
3rd February 2005, 12:58
Ok ok! Since you need to go to bed!

"Oh my god!" screamed the vampire "it's Buffet the vampire slayer" :D

The Nephilim
3rd February 2005, 13:00
Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
Ok ok! Since you need to go to bed!

"Oh my god!" screamed the vampire "it's Buffet the vampire slayer" :D

While e-budo groans from that last joke, you may as well give us another one.