Heimlich Demands Maneuver Royalties

Heimlich Demands Maneuver Royalties
CINCINNATI—Lawyers for Dr. Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich maneuver, warned Monday that the doctor will sue anyone who performs his patented procedure without paying royalties. "The Heimlich maneuver is a registered trademark of my client," attorney Steve Greene said. "We are prepared to protect Mr. Heimlich's proprietary rights, even if it means filing a legal injunction against any non-royalty-paying choking victims."

[Jack B]

Now THAT's news!

I'd like to point out the obvious differences between "shimewaza" which is properly strangling, not a choking technique. Also there is the fact that we WANT people to strangle. Properly.

Did Kano ever take out copyrights?

Who has the copyright on the action of the human diaphragm? It seems to me also that the act of inhaling a chicken bone was or should be copyrighted by Elizabeth Taylor... That would seriously impact Mr. Heimlich's propriety.

:nono:

[NoMan]

Robert, please tell me this is a parody like theonion or something right?

[Joseph Svinth]

BTW, those of you who see the online publication that provided the original citation today (Sep. 3, 2002) will see a photo of a young lady who might be appropriate for The Men's Room.

[Jack B]

It is from the Onion. The same issue also ran the headline, "Exiled American King Triumphantly Returns To Washington" referring to William IV, aka "Bill".

And be careful clicking their links, if you're at work.

Yep, its from the Onion. Just thought it was funny. ;)