How you hide your martial ablities.

[Daniel san]

Hello,
I've noticed more than a few on this forum who keep their martial leanings a secret from those who don't need to know. The logic in this is abundant, as I'm sure everyone has their own reasons for hiding this part of their lives. My question is how exactly do you pull this off? Even if I, myself, never told a soul, my wife doesn't see why it should be a "secret", or, at the very least a sensitive topic, and has told anyone who will listen. Often, this makes me sound like either an a$$ kicking tough guy or a know nothing wannabe. Both are untrue, but still embarassing. We've had the talk about it (outcome: my fault, should have said something sooner) but I've still been outed. This has bled into my job (small town) where they now think I'm a ninja that has been lying to them all this time. Whereas they used to think I was just acrobatic, they now put a ninja label on it. The thing is, everyone at my work spotted the budo without me saying or doing anything overt. "So, do you do martial arts or something?" "No, just exercise". So, now, out of wanting to preserve the solemnity of budo, I have made my coworkers distrust me a little. The only way I have gained any trust back is by letting them poke fun of me just a little. So, my question is, how do y'all hide your body movements to conceal the way you have been conditioned to move and yet remain honest with people you don't want to tell?
Thanks

[Shitoryu Dude]

I usually just tell people who don't know me well that I go to a "gym". My wife usually spills the beans before I do.

:beer:

[Gene Williams]

I hide mine in a small wooden box under the bed:up:

[Ron Tisdale]

Well, first, I'm not sure I have 'abilities'...second, I don't hide the fact that I practice aikido.

Of all the martial arts, aikido has enough of a 'wussy' rap that I don't worry about people being intimidated by it. And I don't try to sell it as something that makes me a bad *ss, but rather, just as something I enjoy doing. I take some heat for it, but so what? They'd just find something else to pick on if it wasn't that.

We did a demo at work last year...one of the guys I work with thought it was one step removed from WWF. I didn't argue with him. In some ways, the analogy has a little merrit...

Ron

[Mitch Saret]

That's the bottom line...and not that many ask. Additionally, I took a lot of training in various arts while in the army. From guest instructors who I knew for one month and heard their name once. So I can't tell you who my instructors were. Also, way back when I was a teenager and started out in judo, I couldn't tell you the instructors name, just the dojo I trained in and he was an old japanese guy. Back then I didn't think about lineage and issues like that. If you want to know, I'll tell you, otherwise, I just don't talk about it except with my students.

[ulvulv]

common verbal exchanges:

"whats in the long bag, fishing rods?"

"yes"



Or: "whats in the bag, swords?"

"No, fishing rods"

[dakotajudo]

I get beat at tournaments a lot - does that count?

Actually, I'm kind of the opposite - one of my jobs is as a physiology lab instructor, and I use judo techniques sometimes to illustrate concepts (I don't actually choke out students, but I explain the principles).

[Blackwood]

Well, since I teach a couple of children's classes at my church, it isn't likely to be a secret. And when I don't show up to a family reunion and my wife explains that I'm at some seminar, it gets pretty well known.

The only really serious exchange discussion I've ever had with some who doesn't pratice some MA was a question when my daughter bragged about me making 2nd kyu.

"So if I were to start something it would pretty much be over?"

Shrug. "Probably, but you could always get in a lucky punch."

End of exchange. Topic doesn't come up unless it is discussion about the classes I teach.

[Exorcist_Fist]

I do taiji, telling people you do taiji when you are 31 years old is like saying "I am a flaming vegan, bleeding heart liberal". There is no MA connection at all in the minds of 99.99 percent of taiji practitioners, let alone non practitioners.

[elder999]

I hide mine behind brown skin,a 6 foot 2 inch, 215 pound frame and a face that-in spite of what I'm usually told is an extraoridnarily easy going nature-is seen by some as being in a perpetual evil scowl....people just make all sorts of assumptions about me, and are too scared to ask!;)

As far as Los Alamos, or the place where I live goes, they're pretty small places, so everyone either knows me through work, martial arts ,as "that guy who sings...," or "Rita's husband"-my wife grew up in Los Alamos, and is fairly well known-kind of famous, actually. I'm also one of maybe 11 black guys (not quite an exagerration) , and have a pretty distinctive appearance, so anonymity was never an option.

[Iain]

If someone asks in a polite manner, I tell them. If it looks like they're trying to pick a fight or being generally assinine, I simply tell them 'no I don't practice martial arts'. If I have my bag with me (one of my bags is a club bag) I simply tell them I'm carrying it for someone else, or that it was an old bag I bought at a thrift store. Then again, I'm about 5'5" 140lbs with long shaggy hair and a scruffy beard-type-thing (I look like a skinny hippy), so nobody really expects me to know anything about fighting. I've been in Toronto for 6 months, and a sum total of 3 people know I do martial arts: The one guy down the hall I befriended, and the two guys who taught a self-defense/ personal awareness course to the people in my residence building. I've off-handedly told a few other people, but if you say it in a suitably off-handed manner, they usually forget pretty quickly.

[Jason Chambers]

Want to really hide your martial arts abilities? Stop training for a while. ;)

You'll hide them real well that way.

[n2shotokai]

I hide my MA abilities by falling down a lot, even when I'm not falling down drunk.

I usually disarm people's concerns by stating that "I love the exercise and stretching" when they find out. "It's just like yoga". ;)

[Jock Armstrong]

I usually find that if someone asks about it I just invite them to the dojo- that usually shuts them up unless they are genuinely interested. I never put it on a resume, even if it asks about hobbies or sports interests. I've missed out because I have. Don't hide it- but then again, don't tell anyone either.

[Jerry Johnson]

Hiding what you do is more important know, then 25 or more years. I just don't speak of it. I have learned very well to keep many parts of my life hidden.

I think today martial arts, due to the intensive use of martial arts in T.V. movies, the net, results in a perspective of violence. So much so that some people felt the need to have Governmental intervention. This fear of martial arts as a result of increasing violence in the work place fears, insures that I don't ever disclose my training to anyone. Now I partake in Iaido which is benign in terms of violence- vs. kenjutsu, or something like Bjj, people just don't understand that. They think now in terms of "Last Samurai" or any number of action sword movies. The result as they see it, is I am a potential sword wheeling minority manic who will slice, dice and shred innocent unarmed helpless co-workers and management; despite the fact they do this already verbally.

They is also what I call the NHB backlash. Since NHB promotes themselves with the words martial arts, and contains real and raw violence it scares the crapola out of people. The lump it all together, no matter what you study. Even Tai Chi is a threat. All of which makes many companies and employees nervous when you say you study martial arts.

In the good o'days when I did disclose my training to those who asked, I was meet with funny whauuuu, Hi-yaaaaa sounds and uncoordinated waves of chopping motion hands, accompanied with jerky body movements. If I was lucky someone would do a great Miss Piggy impersonation knocking over the water cooler.

I don't let anyone know what I do anything now, especially in the work place. Friends know, and family of course, but never strangers, acquaintances, or anyone in the work place. The general public has been hypnotized and ill-informed which they have come to fear martial arts rather then be in admiration. This is due to the ultra violent and unrealistic martial arts of the media, and by the raw uncontrolled brutality of NHB events. Coupled with reports of some terrorist learning martial arts. All this has contributed to a more public friendly view of martial arts, to an alarmist view of martial arts. Because of this change in public perception of the martial arts, I feel as a martial artistist, it is in my best insterest, unlike the past, not to disclose my training and that is how I hide it, in a safe of silence.

[hyaku]

Its a dead giveaway in Japan. Anyone can see by the way I hold my chopsticks, the way I pour sake and the way I walk.

I am still working on th deep voice thing.

They need to know "Modern day Samurai is walking down the street.

Hyakutake Colin

[StanLee]

Originally posted by ulvulv
common verbal exchanges:

"whats in the long bag, fishing rods?"

"yes"



Or: "whats in the bag, swords?"

"No, fishing rods"

I was actually approached by an Irish drunk a while back asking me if I was going to Sunday morning fishing. It was early and so I didn't bother telling him the truth. Instead we blabbered on about the differences of open sea fishing and river fishing. He was a nice drunk!

However, on the other hand, I agree with the notion that if someone asks politely, I will tell them. By being evasive about the subject only makes the person more suspect. Tell them, and if they're bored by the end of my first sentence, then so what.

Jock said that if someone asked him, he'll invite them down to the dojo. In fact, last Friday night after practice and drinks, I went to a chip shop for some food and had my bokken in my bag. When a guy who was waiting for food asked if that was a snooker cue. I told him what it was and that I trained aikido and kenjutsu nearby. To my suprise, he said that he practiced aikido many years ago. I gave him our address and his girlfriend urged him to go and practice!

[joe yang]

I hide my martial arts ability by guile, stealth and disguise. Normally, in public, I wear the unassuming dress of a Japanes peasent. I meekly tolerate injustice, insult and abuse. Oh, and I lurk in the swampest places.

[shugyosha]

i once got stoped by two policement in the street, seen a long object tied on my belt.

"sory sir, can you tell us what is this?"

-sure, i'll tell you....(reaching my weapon, two cops starting to shiver....)


-it's a Bamboo flute! :D :D

-ah...ok then.....

[Bod]

"I'm off to Judo"

"Is that a martial art?"

"No, it's more like wrestling, it's an Olympic sport. It's a bit rough, but you get less injuries than rugby or football."

"Oh, so it's not like self defence or anything."

"No, no, no, no, no. If I wanted to be tough I'd do Rugby."

"Oh."

"It's great fun though, and we have a bar in the dojo..."

[monkeyboy_ssj]

I used to tell people about my 'hobbys' but not anymore...

It kind of grated on us when people whould take the mick and say "Give someone a Chow Mein Chop! Haaaahaha!"

To tell you the truth I don't think people on this board actually realise their martial ability to it's fullest extent...

I think a lot of the time it goes the oposite in martial arts, some of the best keep very quite, where the unskilled and big headed will shoot off their mouth at the drop of a hat.

For instance, Me and Alex have got a friend called Dave whose had a couple of self defence lessons and likes to lecture us on martial arts and show us things he's learnt (made up). We've never ever told him that we've been training about 16 years between us, all of my mates think it's hillarious because he's the only one who doesn't know.

We just go "Wow! how did you do that! that's amazing! I wish I could do that"

Unfortunatly I can see an Internet Soke in the making...have to keep tabs on that.

Cheers

[MikeWilliams]

I just tell people I roll around on the floor with sweaty men. They leave me alone after that.

[monkeyboy_ssj]

Originally posted by MikeWilliams
I just tell people I roll around on the floor with sweaty men. They leave me alone after that.

Yeah, but what do you tell them about BJJ? :D

Cheers

[larsen_huw]

Well, seeing as I lack any martial ability worth talking about, I don't.

A couple of close friends know i dabble, and my girlfriend thinks i'm some sort of grandmaster-superhero ... but she does Capeoira, and thinks anyone who can throw a punch properly is Bruce Lee re-incarnated! :D

[monkeyboy_ssj]

Originally posted by larsen_huw
Well, seeing as I lack any martial ability worth talking about, I don't.

A couple of close friends know i dabble, and my girlfriend thinks i'm some sort of grandmaster-superhero ... but she does Capeoira, and thinks anyone who can throw a punch properly is Bruce Lee re-incarnated! :D

Well don't shatter her illusion and play it to your advantage!

[larsen_huw]

Originally posted by monkeyboy_ssj
Well don't shatter her illusion and play it to your advantage!

Yeah, i try to.

Most worrying thing is she says she feels safe when she's out with me! Seems to think i'd be able to stop an armed gang from mugging us or something! Still, there's no point worrying her unnecessarily, so i haven't explained the harsh reality of you vs shitlaods out on the street! :)

[Martyn van Halm]

-Been fishing?
-Yep, fighting fish...

Last time I dropped by the pub to pay an outstanding bill and one of the drunk college kids said: "We have a bet going, could you tell me what's in the bag?"
I smiled and told him it was none of his business what I carry. Or betting on that.

If I get stopped by the police [which hasn't happened in more than a decade], I'll tell them it's training stuff.

I look like I don't need martial arts to stomp somebody [and I don't, not too many people can fight], so nobody asks me if I do MA.

[BC]

I don't say a word unless somebody asks.

Back in the eighties, I was living in a house with three other guys, and had been practicing martial arts for about four years. We had a party one night, and the police showed up to quiet us down about ten o'clock. I spoke to them and assured them we would get off the porch and head inside to keep the noise down. They say: "Good. Because if we have to come back, we're going to write you a ticket." So I get everyone in the house, and go to bed with my girlfriend at about midnight while the party is still in full swing. Next thing I know, it's two a.m., and somebody is pounding on my bedroom door. I throw on a bathrobe and walk out of my room. It's the police officers again, and one of my foolish overserved friends has told them I am still home, let them in the house and shown them the door to my room. Of course, they want to talk to me so they can write me a ticket for disturbing the peace. Right after they inform me of this, one of my HIGHLY overserved roommates says to the cops: "Better watch out! He knows kurotty!" Both cops reach for their weapons while I try to calm them down. Needless to say, it was not a pretty situation.

[Daniel san]

Hello,
I have tried to reply about three times but the words didn't want to come out properly.
My initial mistake was thinking I wouldn't have the job I do for as long as I have.
The misguided presumption was that these were all transitory "friends". Dangit if they didn't turn into longterm aquaintances.
Having been recently made me the boss of my department(art), I have found that not just the martial arts but the fact that I hid it for so long helped get me the position. The powers that be saw that I had the ability to keep professional and private matters seperate. Not only that, but the fact that my "big secret" actually gave me a certain kind of authority to be the boss of people who are older and have been there longer(along with the truth that I know far more about art supplies than they do).
As an aside, I learned that our CEO(Nebraska Book Company) teaches karate in one of the board rooms. Black belt bonus program?

[Diane Mirro]

..When you start acting evasive and conceal SOME information from SOME acquaintances and OTHER information from others, you turn your life into one complicated mess. I follow the KISS principle--that way, I don't have to try to remember which lie I told to what person...

Of course, maybe things are more mellow here in San Antonio--plenty of times I've walked right past police officers with my swordbag, and they just nod and smile...

Remember, too, the reaction you get upon revealing your rather eccentric pasttime depends on how you comport yourself--and on the quality of the people with which you hang out. I've never experienced a negative reaction--most intelligent folks are curious and at least vaguely interested in the martial arts. I tend not to waste my time with the others...

By the way, I don't think you have much to worry about in terms of revealing your martial art by how impressively you move about in public--quite simply, most people are NOT admiring your amazing feats of grace and coordination as you walk and chew gum at the same time. Despite numerous opportunities over the years, I have yet to see anyone walk up to a high-ranking (but street-clothed)instructor in a public place and say, "Sir, I can tell from your very posture that you are a formidible martial artist. What, pray tell, is your style?"

[Daniel san]

Thank you,
It was a mess and I see things differently now. Sorry for my ignorance but what is K.I.S.S.? I've seen it referenced a couple of times but I didn't glean the meaning from the context.

Have a good day,
Daniel

[JonathanS]

K.I.S.S = Keep It Simple, Stupid

[Jouke]

I`ve practised MA for about 1,5 years now (I know I`m an complete n00b) and I managed to keep it a secret up until a couple of months ago, when some friends saw me training at the dojo.

At first I got some "funny" comments about breaking body parts and being able to kick the sh*t out of someone (in their eyes). The important part however is that I told them that I practice Budo Taijutsu and thank god not a single one of them has found out it has annything to do with ninja's (otherwise I would be ridiculed for the rest of my life). One of the student's at my training group is a well known ninja and he get's a lot stupid presents (bad ninja movies), so I don't think it's a good idea to tell anyone about the ninja part (I alway's keep it hidden).

I've found out that several of my friends (not very close) also practice a MA, there are quite a lot of people out there who practice MA but most of them won't tell you about it unless you ask.


Kind of funny about the fishing rod comment's, I alway's thought I was the only one who gets asked that question.

[ssanutokh]

Originally posted by BC
...one of my HIGHLY overserved roommates says to the cops: "Better watch out! He knows kurotty!" Both cops reach for their weapons while I try to calm them down. Needless to say, it was not a pretty situation.

Oh, my. Presumably that was the last time you invited that one over for the evening.

[Martyn van Halm]

Originally posted by Jouke
I don't think it's a good idea to tell anyone about the ninja part (I alway's keep it hidden).
Your secret is out of the bag now!:D

[Mushin San]

Being Asian, I love when I get wonderful questions. Are you Jet Li? Can you break bricks with your head? Are you a ninja? My answer to it all. Sorry I did not learn MA that is why I got kicked out of Asia, and live in Germany.

[Ade]

Dear All

Gassho

I've been through 3 phases with this.

When I first started, 22 years ago, I wanted to be seen as cool and hard, (to attract girls and frighten men.)
Didn't work and I endured a lot of hiiiyaaahs.

So I started to lie and said I didn't do it any more, but still kept disappearing off 3 times a week from a shared house.

But when I had to run a dojo I told my students to wear club logo t-shirts and become walking billboards, so I had to do the same.

I find that I handle the enquiries differently though now.
If the enquiry is not genuine or is designed to make me look foolish I just stop talking shake my head and walk away.
But I find that a lot of people start with strange humour, the hiiyaahs etc. but that if I persevere for about 4 sentences trying to explain that they can end up having their interests pricked.

And I would say that I recruit at least 5 kenshi a year this way.

As to people at work knowing about it, they all do, I'm a police officer, and I teach unarmed self defence courses as part of my job at schools and colleges all over the county.

I can't hide it any more, and wouldn't want to now, it's so much a part of my life that it is my life.

So I tell people all about it.

It's a very effective defence mechanism, they either get bored and go away, (convinced I'm weird), or they stay and train, (more friends and fresh wrists!)

Ade