Finger fu

[Gene Gabel]

This cracked me up:

http://www.greenvilleonline.com/news/2004/02/03/2004020324026.htm


Robbery suspect uses finger as gun, police say
Posted Tuesday, February 3, 2004 - 12:36 pm


By Andy Paras
STAFF WRITER
aparas@greenvillenews.com

Greenville County Sheriff's deputies are looking for a man who tried robbing a West Parker Road liquor store with his pointed finger, a spokesman said Tuesday.
The suspect walked into the store Monday and stuck his hand at the clerk as if it were a gun, according to Sgt. Shea Smith.

The man told the clerk to empty the register, he said.

The clerk ran outside the store, past the suspect, into the street where she tried to flag down a car, Smith said. He said the suspect ran out the front door and around the side of the building.

The suspect is described as a black male, 5-feet-8 with brown hair and brown eyes. He wore a gray checked flannel shirt and a gray stocking cap that covered his face.

Anyone with information is asked to call CrimeStoppers at 23-Crime.



Gene Gabel

[Iain]

...I'm speechless. That has to be about the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I mean that beats out the last robbery I was at. Dude came in with a bag on his head wearing an overcoat and oven mitts. Told the woman to empty out the till. There was about $8 in change in the till (no more than $20 after dark actually means no more than $20 after dark), but he refused to take the oven mitts off. He spent about 30 seconds trying to pick up change whilst wearing oven mitts, then swore for another ten, and ran out the door. You don't know the meaning of funny until you've seen a guy with a bag on his head trying to pick up change whilst wearing oven mitts. The worst thing was he had a knife the length of my forearm, and I had to try so hard not to laugh. Even the old lady working the register had to back up and turn her back so the guy couldn't see her smirking. If you can't scare an old lady, you really need to look at picking a new vocation. Got busted and went to jail as well. Apparently the cops asked him and he 'fessed right up. Didn't think you could go to jail for armed robbery under $0. I mean what the hell do you tell your cell-mate?

[Gene Gabel]

Originally posted by Iain
...I'm speechless. That has to be about the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I mean that beats out the last robbery I was at. Dude came in with a bag on his head wearing an overcoat and oven mitts. Told the woman to empty out the till. There was about $8 in change in the till (no more than $20 after dark actually means no more than $20 after dark), but he refused to take the oven mitts off. He spent about 30 seconds trying to pick up change whilst wearing oven mitts, then swore for another ten, and ran out the door. You don't know the meaning of funny until you've seen a guy with a bag on his head trying to pick up change whilst wearing oven mitts. The worst thing was he had a knife the length of my forearm, and I had to try so hard not to laugh. Even the old lady working the register had to back up and turn her back so the guy couldn't see her smirking. If you can't scare an old lady, you really need to look at picking a new vocation. Got busted and went to jail as well. Apparently the cops asked him and he 'fessed right up. Didn't think you could go to jail for armed robbery under $0. I mean what the hell do you tell your cell-mate?
.....................................

We have "stupid Crook news" on the radio down here. I probably need to send that in to them. The funniest I ever read was in New Orleans. A guy went into an all night gas station to rob it. He had a large cardboard box over his head as a mask. He had poked two eye holes in it to see out of. He came in the store and gave the usual "gimmethemoney". The clerk was a little close and hit the box, it spun around and now the would be robber was blinded. He then was hit over the head with a tire iron the clerk had behind the counter and bound with duct tape until New Orleans finest showed up

islandtime

[Grant Kirby]

in my home town a couple of months back, a man robbed the bank for a few hundred dollars, and saw a bag of dum-dums (the little suckers) and grabbed those too. he was found a few hours later, when the police were able to follow the trail of dum-dum wrappers... to his house... to find him in his living room, eating dum-dums. i believe he got charged for littering, as well as armed robbery, haha!

Peace