Police Response

[ElfTengu]

I telephoned the police to tell them that some criminals were trying to break into my garden shed.

They said they would send someone as soon as possible but that at the moment nobody was available and it could be an hour or so.

I rang them five minutes later and said that there was no need to hurry as I'd shot two of the perpetrators and finished off the third with a samurai sword.

Two and a half minutes later there were two police vehicles and seven police officers outside who were just in time to arrest the thieves, who they were surprised to find were completely unharmed.

"I thought you said you'd shot them" said one of the officers.

"I thought you said there was nobody available" I replied.

[gozanryu]

EXCELLENT Ninjutsu thinking!

[Ron Tisdale]

LOL!!!

Gave me a good laugh! Did they accuse you of filing a false report?

RT

[don]

Sorry to be so suspicious, but that's too good to be true. You excerpted that from some joke making the email rounds, didn't you...

[Soulend]

I've heard a couple versions of that before, as jokes. The first one was of two guys lost in the woods who could get no response to any of their signal flares, so they shoot a deer out of season and a wildlife officer promptly shows up. The other was your story almost verbatim minus the samurai sword.

[rupert]

Actually, the above, though worded differently, is based on a true story from UK News in May 2002. In the original there was no sword.

[william northcote]

Well if it was from May 2002 then it seems to have passed into the old Urban myth joke.

This has been done by comedians on TV. It seems to have come from a news report and I think it came from the south east news area of the UK.

It also the same for buses, you wait for an hour and three turn up at once (or where I live 1 every hour depending on the drivers apathy).

[master35]

Originally posted by ElfTengu
I telephoned the police to tell them that some criminals were trying to break into my garden shed.

They said they would send someone as soon as possible but that at the moment nobody was available and it could be an hour or so.

I rang them five minutes later and said that there was no need to hurry as I'd shot two of the perpetrators and finished off the third with a samurai sword.

Two and a half minutes later there were two police vehicles and seven police officers outside who were just in time to arrest the thieves, who they were surprised to find were completely unharmed.

"I thought you said you'd shot them" said one of the officers.

"I thought you said there was nobody available" I replied.
good thingking sir.:D
if it really happened to you thats a classic thingking w/c only oldies know.:) w/c is hard to find in this generation.;)

[ElfTengu]

Okay guys, you got me, it's based on something I received as an email, although it was in the format of a newspaper clipping so it may have originally been a true story.

Hey, this is e-budo, I had to throw in the sword for good measure!

The main thing is that it was appreciated by everyone, especially those of you that hadn't seen it before.

And you know, if you're ever in a similar situation, you know................................................

.............it might just work!

[Jack B]

Would you serve time or just pay a fine for making false statements to a police officer?

[william northcote]

More likely a caution. Depends on who you are to the police.

[budoboy]

Cute.

Usually the reason why police response is delayed in a situation like this is because there are more serious incidents (rapes, robberies, spousal abuse, child abduction) in progress. You may feel good about having gotten service but in reality you probably took police services away from someone who may have needed them more than you.

Personally I'm irritated by all the people who cry wolf to the police. People often call the police regarding noise complaints and get irritated at the long wait for an officer. They call back later with some BS about how they saw someone with a gun or other such nonsense.

Sure you get service when you lie to the police but at what cost to your neighbors who actually may be experiencing a life-threatening emergency.

Jeff Sherwin

[ElfTengu]

Well yes, but what kind of an emergency would it be if you went outside and confronted thieves?

Life threatening? For either yourself or the intruder(s)?

Let's face it, we don't study martial arts in order to hide behind the curtains and watch our hard-worked-for property being stolen, even if this is probably the best approach in terms of self-preservation.

And if we did hide, wouldn't friends and family ask why we didn't act and put all the [time we spend away from them] training to some practical purpose for once?

Someone did try to steal my motorcycle last night while I was actually in my martial arts class and I can't deny that if I had been alerted to this then they would have regretted their actions. Luckily for them I found it on its side after training 30 yards down the road, flooded from their attempts to start it and with the end of the front brake lever snapped off.

Not a happy bunny!

I am quite sentimental and protective of my possesions as well as my friends and loved ones, and what would have been better than being all warmed up, in my gi, and with a selection of weapons to choose from (for the sake of bad press for martial arts it would have been my crash helmet by the way, a formidable cudgel that I've seen used in action).

Anyway, my first post was intended to bring about a chuckle, not an in depth discussion of why the police can't or won't do their JOB!

Underfunding by the government will always be the villain on that front, (or too many doughnuts/donuts to be bothered to move their backsides, how do the fat cops chase anyone?).

[CanuckMA]

And that last one would have brought you assault charges. Physical violence is only allowed in the defence of life.

[budoboy]

My suggestion would be to tell dispatch the truth. "Hey someone's in my garden shed and I'm going to go out there with a shotgun if you guys can't help me." Phrasing it this way would probably get you a prompt response and you wouldn't have to make up a story that could get someone killed.

Jeff Sherwin

[Jerry Johnson]

It is really sad that this is happening in the first place. I hear such thing with people in company say things like, "this is what I would do" type stories and so many feel the need to lie or, say the above, to the dispacter to get a quick response. This is a sad state of affairs that in some cases you could get a plumber out there faster.

[n2shotokai]

Originally posted by Jerry Johnson
snip ... This is a sad state of affairs that in some cases you could get a plumber out there faster.
Well at least you could scare them off with some big old hairy butt cracks :eek:

[william northcote]

Well in one of the newspapers the front page quoted after a death within a family said in large letters "It is quicker to get a pizza than an ambulance"

Best thing IMO, is to register yourself with the police claiming that you have a very large and very live samurai sword. If anything does happen all you have to do is say to the people on the other end how quick can they get here before you flip out and start chasing people.

[ElfTengu]

Originally posted by CanuckMA
And that last one would have brought you assault charges. Physical violence is only allowed in the defence of life.

I would have assessed the situation first of course (for at least a second!) to make sure that such action was neccesary, and certainly there may have been circumstances that entailed either the perpetrators running away (and I wouldn't have followed far barefoot!) or alternatively requiring me to run away!

How many kicks to your head do you let them get in before you are certain in the eyes of the law to be in 'defence of your life' by the way?

There's not much time for thinking in virtually 100% of the times when you might need your skills. How much bad language would be permitted to avoid a lawsuit for defamation of character, but still be sufficient to avoid fisticuffs whilst showing that you mean business?

It's easy to spout on theoretically but real fights never go how you expect. You WILL get hit, no matter how good you are, and you may end up hurting people that maybe don't deserve it just by escaping from a larger scale situation if you need to get your partner or children as far away as possible as quickly as possible.

I still think it was funny as a joke. Who here would let me steal your car without some resistance, even if I'd taunted you. What if I hurt one of your loved ones but because it had already happened and that anything that followed would no longer be 'defence' but 'retaliation' you could not stick to your principles?

It's a difficult call, but I bet you'd all kick my butt, unless fear got the better of you!