Zatoichi Ryu

[gendzwil]

Here's your laugh for the day: Zatoichi Ryu! (http://www.cafepress.com/cp/about_me.aspx?s=zatoichi_ryu) Can't wait until the full website goes live...

[IZA]

[QUOTE=gendzwil]Here's your laugh for the day: Zatoichi Ryu! (http://www.cafepress.com/cp/about_me.aspx?s=zatoichi_ryu) Can't wait until the full website goes live...[/QUOTE

is it necessary to be blind to practice Zatoichi-ryu?

[shieldcaster]

Wow! Circular AND non-linear. All in one. I am no expert, but the traditional style I study sure as hell isn't linear. Or non-circular, for that matter. Sounds like a good time for the kids, though.

[cxt]

I bet its ALOT easier to construct an "invincible" system when you don't actually have to prove it. ;)

And its even going to be shown on a movie!!!!

Wow.

Chris Thomas

[paul manogue]

Doesn't this belong in baffling budo?

[Ren Blade]

My my my. Zatoichi Ryu? :smash:

[Dan Weber]

Wow. Thanks for the link. I was having a bad day, but after reading that....not anymore :laugh:
quote: "The idea was to take what made the Zatoichi style so impressive and build on it to make it a true, invincible system."

Heheheh. Is this for real? Heheh.
Well, I hope he has fun.



Dan Weber

[urbalte]

Last Samurai Ryu will be making it's debut this summer.... It's square and quite lineal. Perfect gaijin style koryu budo. It's history traces back to 4th century sokes. The creator was a 12th degree black belt in 9 different martial arts.
The art is based on being attacked by 50+ men and being the last man standing. Nobody can beat this style. :rolleyes:

[Trevor Johnson]

What about KillBill Ryu? That was 88 people, and includes flying moves and some great things to do against a rather nonstandard ball and chain! As well as ways to get inside an opponent's head...

[IZA]

Last Samurai Ryu will be making it's debut this summer.... It's square and quite lineal. Perfect gaijin style koryu budo. It's history traces back to 4th century sokes. The creator was a 12th degree black belt in 9 different martial arts.
The art is based on being attacked by 50+ men and being the last man standing. Nobody can beat this style. :rolleyes:


Saw a banner a year ago. " learn the techniques of the last samurai", maybe its one of them branches here.

[Lane Haygood]

What about KillBill Ryu? That was 88 people, and includes flying moves and some great things to do against a rather nonstandard ball and chain! As well as ways to get inside an opponent's head...

Nothing will stop my Shichinin Samurai Ryu! I fight like seven men, with a no-dachi in one hand and a katana in the other.

Sometimes I cross train in Yojimbo Ryu too. :)

[gendzwil]

It's degenerated to challenges now over on Kendo World (http://www.kendo-world.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2929).

[Trevor Johnson]

That is a question. Why do people start talking about live steel as settling all things... Especially since the only way you can do that safely is with extremely limited rules or a style with those rules built-in and automatic, otherwise someone walks away, someone doesn't. So, imho, unless there's felony assault or murder charges against someone, I'm not sure I can agree that they've ever fought with a live blade.... And if they have, and no charges have ensued, then they probably lost.

[gendzwil]

He doesn't need live steel - he's challenged people using kendo rules. There's US national team members on that forum who live in his town... I doubt they'd accept any challenges but if he were to show up at a local tourney he'd learn something in a hurry.

[Dogger]

They called themselves the "Crazy Eighty-Eight" we guess to sound cool. There was not eighty-eight of them. But I get the drift. At the Zatoichi School do they give gambling lessons also "chu"! Wow California gets all the cool stuff!
Your friend
Jim Williams

[Dogger]

In Florida Jeb Bush now allows us to kill someone if we are in danger for our lives. Come on in mister burgaler and meet my Kotetsu. We will see some interesting things I bet from this law. An eighty year old woman was startled by a burgaler and shot him outside in the chest and wont have charges pressed against her. Wow, Florida gets all the cool stuff. Thieves beware are wrath or get an invitation to our Batto class.
Your friend
Jim Williams

[Nathan Scott]

Darn, the website is down now. Surprising.

I figure if someone wants to make something up and be honest about it, more power to them. Unfortunately, basing a combative art (if that was the intention) of swordsmanship based off of "Master Ichi's" sword method is completely impractical though.

I would be curious to know more about his apparently claimed 4th dan/Renshi in Daito-ryu though. Hmmm, Northridge isn't too far from where I live....

[gendzwil]

Go back and read the KW thread, he's now claiming it wasn't 4th dan and not daito ryu but rather Mugai Ryu and somethin' somethin' - anyways, it's all that darn webmaster's fault for falsely inflating his credentials and we were really mean to him and...

[cxt]

gendzwil

So whom was posting for him when he was telling folks to come down and "match" with him and his students??

Chris Thomas

[SLeclair]

It's just not worth it replying to this guy anymore. He's already claimed Mugai Ryu as a branch of Daito Ryu. And the best quote ever:

Also, I have never stated that I had CREATED a style called Zatoichi-Ryu. I said that I had founded Zatoichi-Ryu. The syle has been around for many, MANY YEARS.

Can you even argue with a line of reasoning like that?

I was tempted to put in that zatoichi's swordsmanship is reported to have been based on Muraku ryu (at least from the little info I have on it), but why discuss such things with someone who founds (but doesn't create) a sword art based on movies? He would have found out about Muraku ryu himself with basic research, and the way this just popped up seems to be related to the new zatoichi movie and the possible interest in it -- let's just make up a style and make money, right?

And a last thought from Mr. Robn:


Founding a school is no different than a black belt going and opening his own dojo and teaching the same style that he has been taught, under a different name.


Yep. He really does get koryu.

---
Sebastien L.

[pgsmith]

Hey c'mon,
How much can you expect from someone that lost an i like that! (bad pun!)

Hmmm, Northridge isn't too far from where I live....
Hey Nathan,
If you get bored and go talk with him, let us know what he says will ya! :)

[Dogger]

Okay, we need a name for this new style. It has been seen at Christmas tree burning parties, after Tai Kai's and backyard barbeques. It starts with plain tatami and ends with flaming tatami's, yes, sometimes batto is involved, sometimes a jacuzzi, but always lots of beer. Has anyone witnessed this amazing new style? The stories are out there, but please change the names for the sake of those involved and remember they are the _____________ ryu.
Your friend
Jim Williams

PS Need some help with a good name for this style, thanks.

[Trevor Johnson]

Hashi-sloshy?

[Dogger]

Nice one Trevor. But how about a story to go along with the name. To give this stlye some background and credit as a true sword art.
Your friend
Jim Williams

[Trevor Johnson]

Nice one Trevor. But how about a story to go along with the name. To give this stlye some background and credit as a true sword art.
Your friend
Jim Williams

Damn, wish I'd seen this last night, I don't know if I can make something bad enough sober...

[Steve Delaney]

I'm waiting with bated breath for Aldgren-ryu to rear it's ugly head. :D

[Trevor Johnson]

Nice one Trevor. But how about a story to go along with the name. To give this stlye some background and credit as a true sword art.
Your friend
Jim Williams

Hmmm, let's see. First of all, lineage. Hashi-Sloshy is a form of armed combat developed by master Pisht At Nuun, a martial drunkard who was fond of challenging people while completely trashed. It was developed over 1800 years ago, so Benson's Yagyu Ryu ISN'T the oldest around! Its first secret forms are much like Okinawan Sanchin, you drink while people punch you and kick you, learn how to projectile vomit, and how to focus while drunk. After you have mastered this, and developed the completely red, bulbous nose, you begin to integrate this into your sword work. Being able to to do a spinning aerial 360 degree spew while cutting is a qualification for renshi*. You also learn drunken doggerel to enrage an enemy, and drunken mudras to weaken and blind them. You draw the mudras on your hand with sake or beer, and then fling your hand towards your opponent before you attack. By the time you attain your renshi rank, you have mastered the art of dragonfire(most consider it a waste of good hard liquor, but it is part of the ryu and you have to master it), and have stopped cutting off your fingers by accident. You may even have kept all of your limbs! Brewing and distillation are learned at this rank, poisons (methanol and wormwood) are kept until the highest ranks of the ryu. You also learn how to maximize an opponent's hangover and minimize your own, and the 9 sacred herbs that strengthen the liver. When you have learned to regenerate your liver, you learn the Kata collectively called the Yellow-Eyed Demons. Once mastering those, you gain your hanshi certificate and the knowledge of poisons. The most secret art of the ryu, passed down through the soke's besotted family over generations of time, is how to actually appear charming, responsible, and marriage material when drunk. This is the only reason this family has survived this long, they're complete sots.

*Caveat. I'm not a koryu person, and I don't remember which order the teaching ranks are, renshi, hanshi, and whatever the third one is that I don't remember. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa, correct me if you would be so kind.

Further Caveat. For those with no sense of humor. This is a parody, people. And I hope and devoutly pray that this bears no resemblance to any real person, living or dead, but I'm terribly afraid that it does...

[William F. Kincaid]

The sad thing is, and i personally cannot believe no one else mentioned it.... :)

This Zatoichi-ryu really does a discredit to the Zatoichi Movies. (which to me were one of the main reasons i got interested in the martial arts)

btw the latest Zatoichi movie was great in its own right. Not in the same league as the originial series but very entertaining.

[urbalte]

Hmmm, let's see. First of all, lineage. Hashi-Sloshy is a form of armed combat developed by master Pisht At Nuun, a martial drunkard who was fond of challenging people while completely trashed. It was developed over 1800 years ago, so Benson's Yagyu Ryu ISN'T the oldest around! Its first secret forms are much like Okinawan Sanchin, you drink while people punch you and kick you, learn how to projectile vomit, and how to focus while drunk. After you have mastered this, and developed the completely red, bulbous nose, you begin to integrate this into your sword work. Being able to to do a spinning aerial 360 degree spew while cutting is a qualification for renshi*. You also learn drunken doggerel to enrage an enemy, and drunken mudras to weaken and blind them. You draw the mudras on your hand with sake or beer, and then fling your hand towards your opponent before you attack. By the time you attain your renshi rank, you have mastered the art of dragonfire(most consider it a waste of good hard liquor, but it is part of the ryu and you have to master it), and have stopped cutting off your fingers by accident. You may even have kept all of your limbs! Brewing and distillation are learned at this rank, poisons (methanol and wormwood) are kept until the highest ranks of the ryu. You also learn how to maximize an opponent's hangover and minimize your own, and the 9 sacred herbs that strengthen the liver. When you have learned to regenerate your liver, you learn the Kata collectively called the Yellow-Eyed Demons. Once mastering those, you gain your hanshi certificate and the knowledge of poisons. The most secret art of the ryu, passed down through the soke's besotted family over generations of time, is how to actually appear charming, responsible, and marriage material when drunk. This is the only reason this family has survived this long, they're complete sots.

*Caveat. I'm not a koryu person, and I don't remember which order the teaching ranks are, renshi, hanshi, and whatever the third one is that I don't remember. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa, correct me if you would be so kind.

Further Caveat. For those with no sense of humor. This is a parody, people. And I hope and devoutly pray that this bears no resemblance to any real person, living or dead, but I'm terribly afraid that it does...

This style rules! How can I sign up?

[Dogger]

Oh man, thats was cool. Couldn't have asked for a better story about this ancient sword RYU. If you come to Orlando for the August Tai Kai we will perform the dreaded double spew gyak-on-u cut.
Your friend
Jim Williams

PS How about you others out there I know you know of some old ryu or stories about these styles.

[Ren Blade]

I'm waiting with bated breath for Aldgren-ryu to rear it's ugly head. :D
heh heh heh
Or Uma Thurman Ryu. ;)

[Trevor Johnson]

This style rules! How can I sign up?

You must search Japan for the most drunken souse in the country. It's a secret style, you understand, so it's not in the records anywhere. You must do a pilgrimage, asking every sot you see about Hashi-Sloshi Ryu. There is one style of ninjutsu associated with the Hashi-Sloshi Ryu schools, so if you see a ninja with a vial of smelling salts next to some old drunk, you've found one. They're sworn to protect the Hashi-Sloshi teachers, you see.
If you prove yourself true on your pilgrimage, they will find you. It is appropriate to have some very high-quality booze on you for a present to the meadmaster, umm, that's headmaster. IF he likes the hooch, he may teach you the pissing techniques first off. Alcohol with pee in it, which is what the higher masters of the order produce, is useful in many infiltration and arson techniques, as well as being a great way to insult someone.

[gendzwil]

You must search Japan for the most drunken souse in the country.
Needles, haystacks. Jest sayin'

[Kaoru]

Needles, haystacks. Jest sayin'

hahaha! :D

[urbalte]

You must search Japan for the most drunken souse in the country. It's a secret style, you understand, so it's not in the records anywhere. You must do a pilgrimage, asking every sot you see about Hashi-Sloshi Ryu. There is one style of ninjutsu associated with the Hashi-Sloshi Ryu schools, so if you see a ninja with a vial of smelling salts next to some old drunk, you've found one. They're sworn to protect the Hashi-Sloshi teachers, you see.
If you prove yourself true on your pilgrimage, they will find you. It is appropriate to have some very high-quality booze on you for a present to the meadmaster, umm, that's headmaster. IF he likes the hooch, he may teach you the pissing techniques first off. Alcohol with pee in it, which is what the higher masters of the order produce, is useful in many infiltration and arson techniques, as well as being a great way to insult someone.

Oh that's not fair! In my neighborhood there's drunks laying on the street everywhere! In fact when I drive in to work everymorning, there's one drunk guy sitting on the steps of The Bank of Yokohama. It's generally 0630 when I see him, and he's only on his fifth pint of scotch.... No ninjas with smelling salts, though....unless that's the old lady with the shopping cart.

[Trevor Johnson]

They're ninjas. You're not supposed t' see them! And these are the old-time ninjas, too. Older'n any ninja group in existance. You won't see them unless you're really good or really stoned...

[urbalte]

So those old folks out drinking in front of the bank at 0630 aren't them? And driving into work sober will prevent me from seeing them? Now I'll never learn! :cry:

[Trevor Johnson]

That's why it's a quest that only the most persistant and courteous will ever reach the end of.
(Plus, you tend to have to know things like your favorite color, the capital of Azerbaijan, and the average airspeed of an unladen swallow in order to pass the tests to get in to the dojo once you've found the place...)

[urbalte]

and the average airspeed of an unladen swallow in order to pass the tests to get in to the dojo once you've found the place...)

African or North American?

[Trevor Johnson]

African or North American?

I thought it was European?

[urbalte]

Depends on which zoo you're at....