The Japanese and Sex

[John Lindsey]

Full story at:

http://www.asahi.com/english/asahi/0705/asahi070504.html

The survey, overseen by Chineko Araki, a professor of clinical psychology at Chofu Gakuen Junior College, found that 28 percent of the 1,000 respondents between the ages of 20 and 59 said they had not had sex with their spouse at all, or only a few times, in the past year. The Japan Society of Sexual Science says such a low level of sexual activity qualifies a couple as ``sexless.''

Even so, 84 percent of the husbands surveyed and 77 percent of the wives were either satisfied or somewhat satisfied with their married lives. Among all respondents, 44 percent said they made their sexual feelings clear to their spouses and 90 percent of those were either satisfied or somewhat satisfied with their marriages.

The ``none or almost none'' responses on sexual activity came from 26 percent of respondents in their 30s, 36 percent in their 40s and 46 percent in their 50s.

The survey found the most common excuse for abstaining from sex for men and women was that it was ``too much bother.'' The second most frequent answer from the 500 men in the sample was that they were worn out from work, while the second most frequent answer among the women was that ``there were other more enjoyable choices, such as hobbies.''

In terms of general marital satisfaction, 18 percent of the husbands in their 50s were either dissatisfied or somewhat dissatisfied, and 36 percent of the wives in that age range were dissatisfied or somewhat dissatisfied.

The satisfaction issue was validated by a related question on whether marriage partners got physical and psychological satisfaction in their sex relations. About 70 percent of the husbands said they were satisfied or somewhat satisfied on the physical and emotional measure, but only about half the wives said so.

Across the age spectrum, women were less likely to be satisfied than their husbands, but about one in four women in their 40s said they were dissatisfied both physically and psychologically.

Other survey questions suggested that men are more likely to initiate sex. Overall, 20 percent of the wives said their spouses had made their sexual feelings and desires clear, while they themselves did not. At the same time, just 5 percent of the husbands said their wives expressed their sexual desires while they did not.

Araki said communication seemed to be the significant element in the survey responses that suggest happy marriages. Overall, 44 percent of the respondents said they expressed their sexual desires.

Men seemed to demonstrate a stronger sense of ``obligation'' to perform their perceived sexual roles. About 70 percent of the wives in their 30s and 40s disagreed with the statement that a wife should respond to her husband's advances, but more than 70 percent of the husbands between 20 and 49 agreed that husbands should respond to their wives' needs. Only about 40 percent of the wives in that age bracket agreed to that second statement.

The decision to do without sex in marriage seemed to follow age lines. Among those in the 20s, husbands most often said that they gave up having sex with their wives ``because it was too much of a bother,'' while wives complained that sex was ``painful.''

For those in their 30s, husbands bowed out most often because of ``fatigue from work,'' while wives said ``for vague reasons following childbirth.''

Men in their 40s were most likely to express concerns about impotence. And women in their 50s said they opted out of sex because ``there were other more enjoyable tasks such as hobbies'' and ``the spouse came to seem like just a blood relative.''

[PRehse]

Hi John;

I read that article on the way to work this morning and I was shocked - totally shocked.

The whole idea that you can have some of the sexiest babes on the planet and they are not interested in having sex is just too much for my "one track mind" to handle. No wait it did say the survey only asked married couples - says I grasping straws.

I wonder what sort of results would occur if the same question were asked in Europe or the Americas.

[Jeff Hamacher]

... when you consider that the roles of husband and wife become father and mother as soon as children are born. i understand that "western" marriages will often undergo the same kind of change: once a wife has kids, the husband gets caught in what some sex therapists call the "Madonna-Bitch Sydrome", where the husband finds it hard to see the mother of his children as a sex object and the couple ends up having sex less frequently.

the japanese situation is just more extreme. according to traditional roles, the husband is the breadwinner (and since the early part of the 20C "company samurai"), the mother is homemaker/servant, and the children are the pampered but academically saddled charges. social pressure tends to push these traditional role players into putting all of their energy into their nominal responsibilities, leaving almost nothing left over for anything else. and not entirely dissimilar to other societies down through the ages, marriage used to be a "public" and pragmatic affair (one married according to social rules, not one's emotions); the mistress or concubine was there to really get the husband's rocks off. the modern reality is often different than this "ideal" but the tradition continues to exert a considerable influence.

it's also not surprising that the trend amongst young women towards staying unmarried for as long as they can has become quite noticeable. when you consider that some older japanese men still look upon their wives (or as does my wife's grandfather, daughters-in-law) not as an addition to the family but rather as a servant, why would women choose to get hitched? attitudes are changing, but as with every kind of social change in japan, it's happening s...l...o...w...l...y.

later, jeff hamacher

[leoboiko]

"There are three kinds of lies: big ones, small ones and statistical ones"...

[red_fists]

Lets not forget that a lot of Salary-man & Housewifes also still partake in "Uwaki", which is a social concept in Japan. (Telephone dating, host Clubs, Massage parlors, etc.)
Uwaki as such refers to extra-marital sex and is kinda accepted as long as it does not interfere with the marriage, Uwaki is kinda a step below an affair.

Japan not being a christian Country has a very different approach to sex and they likes.
Traditionally, you could divorce your Wife by telling her 3 times that she should leave your House.
A lot of mid-20's Women often work at Massage parlors to increase their salaries as well.

Reasons for the dropping sexual acitivity are a lot more than lets say in Europe or the US, and, yep, they are dropping there as well.
Read japan times for Articles about it. ;P
1.) With the economy being tight and a lot of People living seperate from their Parents a Trip to the ol "Love Hotel" has become a really expensive thing.
2.) A lot more Japanese are worried about loosing their Jobs and tend to work harder and longer.
3.) As mentioned People getting married later in life has also an imapct, as at ths time People already got a career and marriage often ranks 2nd in priority.
4.) Japanese Couples also now often have seperate bedrooms so that the late homecoming Husbands won't wake the wife and Kids and vice versa.

But from what I hear and see over here, it looks like the married sexlife has shifted into a pre-married sexlife.
Some of those teens & early-20's seem to be worse than hutch rabbits on steroids.

So there is still hope for the single Guys, not like us poor married ones.