need help changing opinion on training

im a student of gendai arts but for a long time i said i want to learn koryu but recently i heard a joke about houses being a pile of stuff with a cover on it and that you move house because not enough room for your stuff, though this was a joke it made me think about my arts and realized that i didn't want to learn koryu i wanted to learn gendai with a koryu cover. suddenly i looked at all my past training decisions and reasons why i train and suddenly i got a sick after taste in my mouth i realised i dont want to learn a mass produced art that teaches how to use sharp things in a funny way i decided i want to learn an art that im proud of that i am able to say i am proud. i alwase said i want to learn koryu to learn how to use weapons but thats just gendai if i want that i could go to my local bujinkan dojo. i did some reasuch on koryu and i had the realisation that what my koryu studant friend said ment more than what i though he said "koryu is like a priesthood, me and (put generic irish name here) are stuggeling to think how am i going to pay this" i realised im sick of this mass produced martial art with no actual relationship between studant and teacher i want that struggle for traning i want to actually have some relationship with my teacher not just because im paying him to but becuase we both want to because as i said if i wanted that my local bujinkan is 10 minuites by car away but im choosing to travel 1 hour every saturday becuase i like my teacher hes more of a freind than my aikido teacher ever was dispite me knowing him for a mere few months and my aikido teacher for 4 years my question is this when i build a relationship with a koryu teacher knowing what i said would it be morally ok to train koryu knowing what i used to want i thank anyone who has the willingnees to help me and be 100% honest thank you
stephanie

Hi Stephanie,
People's needs and wants can change over time, due - at least in part - to their experiences with the approaches they have tried. You've obviously searched for the place and art you feel is right for you, based on the process of elimination -- trying other things and realizing that they are not for you, and understanding why they are not for you. Now, you have evidently found a teacher and art that resonate with you and fulfill your needs as you currently assess them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with training as you are now (in fact, it sounds very right, to me!), and you should have no reservations or doubts as to your motives. Best wishes for many years of challenge, growth and success on your chosen path.

stefsamurai, I have a lifetime of doing both gendai and koryu. Reaching a high yudasha level in more than one gendai. Holding a license in one koryu and being the actual head of another.

There is little to choose between either. Skillwise, gendai can be far more intensive as I taught twice a day and all weekend. It's what we call sogo budo in Japan. A art like community activity that drives the people to do better together. So there nothing really wrong with it. In both arts its really down to your teacher, his character, values and what he teaches you. How he interprets it For sure at this time you are are not going to find many philosophical koryu leaders out there, even in Japan.

In Japan we use the words "Budo seishin". To have the spirit/heart/character/discipline of Budo. For sure if that's what you want you have to put it in there yourself.

Hey Stephanie,
It sounds to me like you're looking for a particular kind of instructor, rather than a particular kind of art. In my experience, koryu arts have more depth to them due to the history involved. However, I know a number of people that aren't all that interested in the history behind the art or school, and they still have been practicing the art for many years.

Your training and your relationship with your instructor are what you make of it. That being said, there are as many different types of instructors as there are dojos. Find the one that makes you want to practice, since showing up and practicing regularly is the single hardest part of training.

Good luck, train hard, and let us know how it works out!

Like Colin Hyakutake, I live in Japan and have done so for nearly 40 years. And I came here because of aikido. I have had many teachers and also have some very good friends among the teachers I still know (I mean who have not passed away). I run two dojos here, which is a real community operation, with students ranging in age from 8 or 9 to those in their 70s, like me. I was also the elected head of the world federation for many years and have some knowledge of the situation in your part of the world. Feel free to PM me if you are so inclined.

P Goldsbury