I have thought about this for some time did a lot of Zazen and feel that to close this chapter I have to do this. If I post this the thread is up again and thus the debate comes back into the light if I don't....then I'm not doing what I feel compelled too. I'm not apologizing for how I felt, or what I did, I think any student should be able to question anything about his teacher, or their history. I'm apologizing for how I did it, I wish to express my deep regret at how I openly and Publicly called my former teacher a fake.
Hanulak Sensei did teach me a lot and I'm great full for that, he is a good guy
and what he teaches is good stuff I believe. I haven't been back to the Hombu in five years, Until this past Friday I apologized to Hanulak Sensei in person and now this is the last thing I need to do.
1. I apologize to His Family, very deeply, He didn't deserve what I did.
2. To My training Partners I'm sorry for not standing with you when I should have.
3. To the present students for calling there teacher a fake.
4. lastly to Hanulak Sensei I'm sorry for breaking the first rule of friendship not believing you, and believing my teacher.
You all might think I'm stupid and crazy and foolish, and what ever else but
I think I can now be done with this stuff, I have given up the research it doesn't matter to me anymore.
Later
cheers
James Fitzgerald