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Thread: Scottish wedding toasts?

  1. #1
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    Default Scottish wedding toasts?

    Hi,

    A friend of mine is getting married, and is using some Scottish themes in the ceremony. Can anyone help me find some Scottish toasts for the best man at the reception?

    Thanks,
    ____________
    Aric Keith

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    [In Scots]
    May the best you've ever seen
    Be the worst you'll ever see;
    May a moose ne'er leave yer girnal
    Wi' a teardrop in his e'e.
    May ye aye keep hale and hearty
    Till ye're auld enough tae dee,
    May ye aye be just as happy
    As I wish ye aye tae be.

    May the best you've ever seen
    Be the worst you'll ever see;
    May a mouse never leave your pantry
    With a teardrop in his eye
    May you keep whole and hearty
    Till you're old enough to die,
    May you be just as happy
    As I wish you to be.

    Scottish Wedding Guide
    Speeches and Toasts



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    As a rule of thumb, there are usually only four key speakers who offer toasts at the reception. Here is the traditional order of toasts and speakers:
    THE FIRST to speak is the bride's father, or the clergyman, or a close friend of the couple. The toast is 'The Happy Couple'. It is customary for this speech to contain compliments about the bride and groom, some words of wisdom on marriage, and amusing anecdotes about the couple.

    THE BRIDEGROOM then replies on behalf of himself and his new wife. Tradition demands that somewhere in the first sentance he used the words which all guests are waiting for... 'on behalf of myself and my wife'. His speeach can be brief but should include the following points:

    To thank the first speaker
    To thank the guests, perhaps mentioning by name any who have travelled from far away.
    To thank them for their gifts and best wishes
    To thank, above all his new parents-in-law for the wedding, and of course, for their daughter
    To thank his own parents
    And finally to thank the bridesmaids and ushers and to propose the toast 'The Bridesmaids'
    Remember the term 'bridesmaid' refers to an unmarried women. It's a matron of honour if the lady is married.

    THE BEST MAN replies on behalf of the attendants. He ends his speach with a special word of thanks to the parents of the bride as hosts, and proposes the toast 'The health of all four parents'. The best man then goes on to read the greetings and messages which have been received at the Hotel.

    THE BRIDE'S FATHER may then wish to say a few words if he has not already spoken, thanking everyone for coming to his daughter's reception and hoping that they will enjoy the rest of the celebrations.

    BEWARE - jokes that went down well with the lads on the stag night could well upset the minister and a few elderly aunts. So watch what you say!
    Good luck! It should be a blast
    Systema

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    In the immortal words of Mike Myers: "Let's get pissed!"

    Having been to a Scottish wedding, I can give you this one piece of advice: Leave before the fighting starts. Both sides of the family usually manage to restrain themselves until the bride and groom leave, but alcohol, dock workers, Protestants, and Catholics rarely mix well. Good luck, remember to wear a good thick wool suit to cushion the blows, and when cousin Tamsin asks you "Rangers or Celtic?" the appropriate reply is "Buddist". This should confuse him long enough for you to knock the glass ash-tray out of his hand and make a run for it.

    Seriously, Have a fun time, and I hope the wedding doesn't get too 'Scottish'.
    Iain Richardson, compulsive post-having cake eater-wanter.

    "He shoots first who laughs last."
    - Alexsandr Lebed,

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    Having been to a Scottish wedding, I can give you this one piece of advice: Leave before the fighting starts. Both sides of the family usually manage to restrain themselves until the bride and groom leave, but alcohol, dock workers, Protestants, and Catholics rarely mix well. Good luck, remember to wear a good thick wool suit to cushion the blows, and when cousin Tamsin asks you "Rangers or Celtic?" the appropriate reply is "Buddist". This should confuse him long enough for you to knock the glass ash-tray out of his hand and make a run for it


    Ahhh, the delights of a peaceful gathering of good, upstanding Christian folk....it would bring tears to a glass eye.
    Hugh Wallace

    A humble wiseman once said, "Those who learn by the inch and talk by the yard should be kicked by the foot."

  5. #5
    txhapkido Guest

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    I'm part Irish. Can I show up for the fun?











  6. #6
    rinpoche Guest

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    I once accompanied an Irish woman to a wedding here in the States. She was shocked to see that there was an open bar. She said that at her brother's wedding, despitre being a cash bar that only served beer, fistfights broke out.

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    Thanks Jay, I had found that site. I was hoping that others had some better quotes, but I could find none on the web.

    The participants in the wedding are as American as can be, not Scottish. They just like their Scottish heritage, and want to use some of the cultural trappings in the wedding.

    As such, I'm sorry to report: there will be no fistfights, or brawling of any variety. Fisticuffs and melee will be strictly off limits.

    So back to the topic: hasn't anyone got some good Scottish toasts?
    ____________
    Aric Keith

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    Originally posted by tenchijin2


    As such, I'm sorry to report: there will be no fistfights, or brawling of any variety. Fisticuffs and melee will be strictly off limits.
    What... no fistfights? yer kidding?

    So who is going to wear the skirt... err... dress.. oh kilt? Who is going to wear the kilt with the dead badger on the front?

    An dannae forget the dirk, mind. Yae may need it tae put oot tha' silly bagpipe nonsense.

    As all my family are scottish and I am the only Englishman in there, I have never worn a skirt, at least not in public. Joking!

    Look on www.scotlandonline.com for tartan ETC they may have links to other sites through other web pages.

  9. #9

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    I have no Scottish blood at all, but a wedding wouldn't be a wedding without a punch-up. My sister wanted her wedding to be very traditional, then got all upset when me and my dad started discussing who we would fight.

    Cheers,

    Mike (1/2 Welsh, 1/8 Irish, maybe that's it.)

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    I always thought that when they said toast the bride, you had her under the grill for a few minutes

    Find the double entrande in that sentance lol

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    I'm an auslander (no Scots, Irish, Gael or Celt in me at all, AFAIK), so pardon me if I sound thick, but:

    All kidding aside, is it really true that fisticuffs are de rigeur, or, at least, commonly expected, at a Scots wedding?



    Is it because people are forced to eat haggis, or what? Or is it assumed that to some degree the families will be mixed, so the inevitable Catholic/Protestant bugaboo rears its ugly head?

    For the record, I think kilts are very cool, and I like bagpipe music.
    Earl Hartman

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    haha...

    Is it because people are forced to eat haggis, or what?
    No..that's St Andrew's Day

    Or is it assumed that to some degree the families will be mixed, so the inevitable Catholic/Protestant bugaboo rears its ugly head?
    That's the potato farmers

    Scottish Wedding Equation --

    Ale/Dram + Happy Assed People = Fisticuffs...all in good fun
    Systema

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    Talking

    OK, now I know I'm in foreign mental territory.

    The equation "Happy Assed People + Booze = Fisticuffs" keeps crashing my system.
    Earl Hartman

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    If whisky was a river an I could swim,
    Id say, here goes, an dive right in.

    ***

    Heres a bottle and an
    honest friend
    What wad ye wish for mair, man?

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    OK, now I know I'm in foreign mental territory.

    The equation "Happy Assed People + Booze = Fisticuffs" keeps crashing my system.


    It is nothing more than a continuation of the normal Friday or Saturday night behaviour in much of Scotland.

    Step one: Find pub nearest and down a few pints.

    Step two: Move on to another pub and down a few more.

    Step three: Repeat step two but add in a few 'chasers' of a spirit of your choice the drunker you get.

    Step four: Get into a fight with some random guy in the pub.

    Step five: Get hoofed out of the pub and beaten up by the gorilla that works the door.

    Step six: Stagger off to get the local Scottish delicacy of deep fried kebab.

    Step seven: Find a taxi stand and join the queue.

    Step eight: Get into a fight with some other drunken bum in the queue.

    Step nine: Throw up in the ambulance on the way to the casualty department (ER).

    Step ten: Verbally and then physically assaault at least three members of hospital staff while they try to patch up your knife slashed face. Throw up once more.

    Step eleven: Throw up in the taxi on the way home.

    Step twelve: Collapse into bed until mid afternoon, wake up and decide that friday night muxt have been great because you can't remember a thing.

    Step thirteen: Meet up with your mates in town an start again at step one.
    Hugh Wallace

    A humble wiseman once said, "Those who learn by the inch and talk by the yard should be kicked by the foot."

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