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Thread: I am a BAD American.

  1. #1
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    Default I am a BAD American.

    I just had to get this off my chest.

    I am a BAD American.

    I like big cars, big guns, and big tits.

    I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squeezing out babies.

    I don't think playing with guns makes you a killer.

    I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

    I don't care if you call me a racist, a homophobe or a misogynist.

    I know that no matter how big Jennifer Lopez's !!! gets, I'll still want to see it.

    I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac in America, you do it in English.

    I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.

    I want to know when MTV became such crap.

    I know what the definition of "is" is.

    I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet.

    I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.

    I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osborne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.

    I think that being an art student doesn't give you any more insight than working at Blockbuster.

    I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package.

    I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, and they can do it in their schools.

    I think the WNBA is cool, as is the US Womens' Soccer Team - because they kick !!!.

    My heroes are John Wayne, Winston Churchill, Ronald Reagan, Norman Schwartzkopf, Colin Powell and whoever canceled "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman".

    I think creative violence and useless nudity and sex makes Iraqis deader and movies more interesting.

    I don't hate the rich.

    I don't pity the poor.

    I think global warming is Chicken Little junk science.

    I've never owned or was a slave.

    I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt.

    I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-hell-up already.

    Rocky and Bullwinkle still makes me laugh.

    I think you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing them.

    I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a 6 year old with a Play Station.

    I want to know exactly which church it is where the Rev. Jesse Jackson preaches.

    I think explosions are cool.

    I don't care where Ellen DeGeneres puts her tongue.

    I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry !!! if you're running from them.

    I thought Spinal Tap was great, but Rob Reiner can still kiss my !!!.

    I worry about dying before I get even.

    I like the convenience of buying oranges while I'm waiting at a stoplight, and I'm pretty sure the Latina girl selling them to me is glad she no longer lives in a refrigerator packing carton outside Ensenada.

    I figured out Bruce Willis was dead midway through The Sixth Sense but enjoyed it anyway.

    I think turkey bacon sucks.

    I want somebody to explain to me exactly why it's wrong to point out that when I watch a freeway chase, I know the losers the police eventually pull out of the car are not gonna be honor roll middle-class high school kids but gang-banging losers from the wrong side of town.

    I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a parent with a firm voice and a firmer hand.

    I think tattoos and piercings are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement and not a fad.

    I like hard women, hard liquor and a hard bowel movement first thing in the morning, and don't even think about asking me if I want a rice cake.

    I believe you don't have to speak with a lisp to pick out a couch for your living room.

    I'll admit that the only movies that ever made me cry were "Sands of Iwo Jima" and "Ole Yeller".

    I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid.

    I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings.

    I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

    YES, I am a BAD American.
    Aaron J. Cuffee


    As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
    - H.L. Mencken

  2. #2
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    Aaron,

    Other than Ellen DeGeneres and her tongue, exactly what within these aforementioned statements makes you a "BAD" American?

    ...except the fact you didn't take time to insult the French!!
    John McPartland
    Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!  I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

  3. #3
    TenguAteMyPuppy Guest

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    I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
    My heroes are John Wayne, Winston Churchill, Ronald Reagan, Norman Schwartzkopf, Colin Powell and whoever canceled "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman".
    These don't mix.

  4. #4
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    Default

    We just have to get together for a politically incorrect guiness or ten. You wrote my epitaph.......
    Lurking in dark alleys may be hazardous to other peoples health........

  5. #5
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    Default

    Steak is better for you than anything else there is to eat

    The French are a bunch of pansy-!!! has beens that really never were....and they smell bad

    My gun is bigger than your gun

    Canada is almost a country

    Harvey Moul

    Fish and visitors stink after three days - Ben Franklin

  6. #6
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    Default

    Glad you got that off your chest.
    Mat Rous

  7. #7
    David Toner Guest

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    Aaron,

    Good on you for speaking your mind. Political correctness is destroying society by making everyone afraid to say what they really think. Therefore most people mutter meaningless platitiudes or just say nothing.
    While I don't necessarily agree with everything you said, I respect your honesty and willingness to be up front about your beliefs.

    Cheers

  8. #8
    Bill Gallant Guest

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    I have no problem with what was said but,
    Canada is almost a country
    Huh??

    Bill Gallant
    (The red neck Canadian lumberjack)

  9. #9
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    Default

    Aaron, I think you and me think EXACTLY the same, I like big cars, firearms and boobs.

    I don't want people telling me what I can and can't eat.

    I don't want people in suits with no idea of how the real world works governing my life.

    I like police chases and explosions.

    Why does MTV show such rubbish?

    and most important, give me REAL bacon, not turkey reformed rubber!

    You sir, are an idol!
    Rev. Matt Boxall AKA Dr. Stupid

    *Puts on wizard hat and robe*

  10. #10
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    Smile You are an American

    You are a good american and a fine person. You should have insulted the french. You also should have mentioned Patton. Canada is just a suburb of ours
    JOhn T sChAeFeR

    THOSE WHO MOCK ARE CLOSED MINDED

  11. #11
    Gene Williams Guest

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    Aaron....I want to have your baby

  12. #12
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    Talking

    i will vote for you if you run for president!!!
    Gary Chase
    Shoshinkan Dojo

  13. #13
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    Talking

    Originally posted by Gene Williams
    Aaron....I want to have your baby
    I would pay good money to see that.
    Cady Goldfield

  14. #14
    Gene Williams Guest

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    Cady...PERVERT!!!

  15. #15
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    Nah, I'm just a BAD American. Heck, you would be too, if you'd only learn how to make capitalism work for you when an opportunity like this knocks!
    Cady Goldfield

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