A bit of levity for the day. For some reason, I have people wanting to study with me. I don’t go out of my way to be noticeable, nor do I try and be too helpful on line or in any public forum. My behavior is geared to discourage people in fact. I don’t advertise, I only have my name appearing as a contact for Bernie Lau on EJMAS.com in an article by Joe Svinth and on the odd seminar flyer. Yet somehow, I have people looking for me.
After talking to Toby Threadgill, Rich Elias, and Doug Walker about this while swilling beer and assorted wee drams at a recent seminar. I dug into my email archive to sharw a few of the requests I’ve received, and some of my responses. Before anyone jumps on my butt about being rude, I’m gracious to those who are polite in their requests. The idiots, well, I can’t help but have a bit of fun at their expense.
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I’m interested in joining your dojo. Tell me how much you charge, time of classes, and if I need a kimona.
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Thanks for your inquiry. I’m currently not accepting students. I simply don’t have the time or space for more students. Please check back in a short time and if the situation has changed, I’ll be happy to meet with you and discuss your training with me. BTW, it’s kimono, and you would actually need a keiko-gi, not a kimono.
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Follow up email received.
There are plenty of schools that would be happy to have me join! Why should I wait for you? Who do you think you are?
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I’m the guy who you want to train with. Why should you wait for me? Well, ask around about me and that should answer that question. But as I said, I don’t have time or space for any new students now. If you don’t want to wait, then let me help you in your efforts to find a school quickly. The following is a list of schools that most likely would be happy to have you join them. Good luck and I hope you find a school you enjoy.
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I got your name from the website. I also had a friend tell me you kick !!!. When can I start classes?
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Thank you for your confidence in my !!! kicking skills. I’m only taking students with references from people I know and respect as martial artists and teachers who can kick !!!. If you would be good enough to tell me what website you got my name from, and the name of your friend who told you I can kick !!!, that would be a good place to start discussions about your joining the dojo and learning to kick !!!.
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After researching Seattle area schools, I would like to study with Bernie Lau. I got your name as the contact for Bernie from the EJMAS.com site. I am a doctor and I have recently relocated to Seattle.. I will need to have morning classes to accommodate my schedule. Reply back as to what you can do to meet my needs.
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While I appreciate the desire to study, Bernie is not taking students and only teaches privately. I am teaching but only have evening classes. I’ll be happy to meet with you and see if I can help. For now, I suggest 2 Cranes and Aikido Eastside if you need morning classes and you are interested in aikido. I’m not sure who has morning jujutsu classes around town.
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Follow up email received.
Why don’t you start a morning class? A good business should make every attempt to satisfy their customers! I don’t see what your problem is with my request!
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Sir, I can appreciate your desire, but I’m not here to satisfy customers. I’m here to teach to the best of my ability, to try and pass on what my sensei taught me. I do this as best fits my life and schedule, just as you do in balancing your work, family, and friends. As a doctor, would you like me, as a patient, to want appointments only at night to fit my schedule?
Perhaps I should start a morning class just for you. Do you require me to have coffee and doughnuts for you as well? If so, please respond and tell me if you take cream and sugar in your coffee, and your doughnut preferences. I like old fashioned doughnuts and apple fritters myself, and take cream and sugar in my coffee.
Sarcasm aside, I would be happy to help, provided you are willing to work with me, since I’ll be the one teaching, and not expect me to accommodate you. If so, then please, feel free to contact me to see if anything can be worked out.
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I saw on the internet you had trained by people who are good. How do I know you are any good before I start classes? I don’t want to waste my time if you are not any good.
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Sir , since you are a beginner obviously, you have no way of knowing if I am any good. If you would like to come visit, I’ll be happy to have you come by and watch class. But if that still doesn’t assure you of my skills, then I’ll try to point you in the right direction to find someone who will not waste your time. Or perhaps you can find some one you think is good and have them come with you to visit. I can fight them and if I win, you will be satisfied as to my skill level. Keep in mind that still won’t mean I can teach worth a damn or not and I could still be wasting your time. Looking forward to meeting you. Please let me know when you would like to come visit!
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Where is your dojo? I would like to start classes. Only I don’t want to join if you have any women in the dojo.
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While I don’t have women in the dojo at this time, I would not accept any student who doesn’t want women in the dojo. Thanks for asking and good luck in your search for a school.
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Follow up email received.
Fag!
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I read about Bernie and you on the website. Is Bernie still teaching? I would prefer to train with him and not you, because you don’t have any articles on you anywhere so I don’t know anything about you. But if Bernie isn’t teaching, I guess you will do. Where is your dojo and what times do you have classes?
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Gee, I’m super, thanks for asking! I’m glad I meet your expectations as a substitute since you can’t have the real thing. I happy that I’ll do, that is a trait I share with many drunk lonely people in bars at closing time. However, I hardly think that is the proper attitude to have towards some one who is supposed to be teaching you.
Bernie is not teaching. If he were, he’d probably turn you down as well with the approach you used. Please consider how you phrase things more carefully and I’m sure you will get better responses from people you approach as a potential student.