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Thread: Anybody want to teach these guys?

  1. #16
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    Wink I only wish this was an email!

    About a year ago a jujitsu student, who also had some Chinese martial arts training, stopped me during a technique correction and with the upmost seriousness in a hushed tone said, "hey Randy when do we learn the instant kill techniques this stuff is for suckers".

    Thanks goodness he stopped training not long after.

    R. Kite
    Budoka 34
    "Study hard and all things can be accomplished; give up and you will amount to nothing".

    -Yamaoka Tesshu

  2. #17
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    Default Re: I only wish this was an email!

    Originally posted by Budoka 34
    About a year ago a jujitsu student, who also had some Chinese martial arts training, stopped me during a technique correction and with the upmost seriousness in a hushed tone said, "hey Randy when do we learn the instant kill techniques this stuff is for suckers".


    Heavens!

    You should have explained to him that you quit teaching those as you were losing too many students.

    Barb Bloom

  3. #18
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    Actually, traveling to CIS countries, India and some European countries I encountered karate practitioners using the word 'kimono' referring to their karate gi/keiko gi/do gi. I found it odd but did not correct them. At an opportuned moment I informed them that the Japanese referred to this 'kimono' as karate gi/keiko gi/do gi.
    Katherine Loukopoulos
    Bubishi Karate Do Organization

  4. #19
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    great stories, guys.

    Bob, that cat resurfaced at the dojo recently... i think it was after BC from glen ellyn taught. he walked in right after class ended, and i asked Dave if he recognized him, and then we both started making our way towards the entrance. but before we got there, he saluted in the direction of the rank board (!) and then left. i think he was wearing the same clothes. but i'm not sure

    ok, gotta go search for more mailorder rank

    practice hard
    jerome cervantes
    practice hard

  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by BC View Post
    The guy promptly sticks his fists down in front of him, does a bow vis-a-vis "Karate Kid style," and says in a booming voice "I was wondering if you needed any more instructors!" The whole dojo goes silent. The senior student pauses, then says, "no thanks, we're covered." Said scruffy guy bows again, says "Thank you!" and walks out.
    Who knows - you lot may have missed out on an incredible opportunity.
    Carl Hamlin
    -----------------------------------------
    'The etiquette that underlies all martial arts is based on the assumption that the person with whom you are dealing is standing before you wearing three feet of razor sharp steel.' - George Ledyard

  6. #21
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    In my first post on E-Budo, I'll share my story of a silly visitor to our studio. Last year, I was about to start kendo class when two young men came in and one yelled, 'hey sensie, can you take me?'

    Where? I asked him. He seemed puzzled, so I asked him, 'do you have a sword?' He said that he did not. I explained that kendo is a sword art and a type of fencing. "Where's your black belt?' We don't wear our rank in kendo, I explained. Then he asked if I could at least show him some kicks. I explained that this is a sword art and there are no kicks. I then directed him to the front where there was someone who could assist them if they were interested in lessons and went on to start class. They left and the young man yelled, 'man, you can't even kick!'

    Not true, but I was amused.

    Daniel
    Daniel Sullivan

  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Celtic Tiger View Post
    In my first post on E-Budo, I'll share my story of a silly visitor to our studio. Last year, I was about to start kendo class when two young men came in and one yelled, 'hey sensie, can you take me?'

    Where? I asked him. He seemed puzzled, so I asked him, 'do you have a sword?' He said that he did not. I explained that kendo is a sword art and a type of fencing. "Where's your black belt?' We don't wear our rank in kendo, I explained. Then he asked if I could at least show him some kicks. I explained that this is a sword art and there are no kicks. I then directed him to the front where there was someone who could assist them if they were interested in lessons and went on to start class. They left and the young man yelled, 'man, you can't even kick!'

    Not true, but I was amused.

    Daniel
    Was that the last you saw of them, or did they come back to train?
    Carl Hamlin
    -----------------------------------------
    'The etiquette that underlies all martial arts is based on the assumption that the person with whom you are dealing is standing before you wearing three feet of razor sharp steel.' - George Ledyard

  8. #23
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    That was the last. We moved our location to warehouse space since then, so walk in's are rare now.

    Daniel
    Daniel Sullivan

  9. #24
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    I've always believed that every dojo should have it's own kyujutsu division, if not a Heckler and Koch, to deal with the hecklers.
    Andrew Smallacombe

    Aikido Kenshinkai

    JKA Tokorozawa

    Now trotting over a bridge near you!

  10. #25
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    Default My own stories...

    Okay, I'll bite. Back in the day when I was helping to teach judo and aikido at a college club on the East Coast, a new student took one look at my Or-ee-ental features and (remember, this was in the days of Bruce Lee and "Kung Fu") came up to me and in all seriousness, asked, "Can YOU walk on rice paper?"

    I can't say I had such encounters after moving back to Hawaii. There's a lot of other folk here of Asian persuasions so we're not as exotic, it seems.

    Oh. Typically, that student didn't last very long. I think his fantasies were shattered by how hard judo training was. You don't contemplate your navel too much.

    Wayne Muromoto

  11. #26
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Andrew S View Post
    I've always believed that every dojo should have it's own kyujutsu division, if not a Heckler and Koch, to deal with the hecklers.
    We have an HK division... Those are the "advanced killing techniques."

    I posted for a while on some CMA forums and got a statement, more than a request from a guy saying it would basically be cool to train with me. He "could tell I had real skills," apparently deduced from reading electronic media. He asked what I trained in, to which I replied mostly judo and BJJ, and never heard another word. Probably looking for the Five Deadly Fingers or somesuch.

  12. #27
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hissho View Post
    to which I replied mostly judo and BJJ, and never heard another word.
    Why train in a commonly available art which promises regularly measurable skill that you can acquire through hard work over time when you can train in an exotic art your friends have never heard of that promises unbelievable and superhuman skills just by learning the secret techniques?
    David Sims

    "Cuius testiculos habes, habeas cardia et cerebellum." - Terry Pratchet

    My opinion is, in all likelihood, worth exactly what you are paying for it.

  13. #28
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DDATFUS View Post
    Why train in a commonly available art which promises regularly measurable skill that you can acquire through hard work over time when you can train in an exotic art your friends have never heard of that promises unbelievable and superhuman skills just by learning the secret techniques?
    Because I want instant gratification.
    Andrew Smallacombe

    Aikido Kenshinkai

    JKA Tokorozawa

    Now trotting over a bridge near you!

  14. #29
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    Default ...And another time...

    ...Then there was the time this fellow joined a Japanese weapons group I was in. When I started talking to him, I learned that he had previously learned martial arts from Zatoichi the Blind Swordsman, and had supplementary training from the Eight Secret Shaolin Monks. A couple of times when I tried to work with him on paired kata, he simply could not get the moves and kept doing all sorts of odd things with his wooden weapon, then he started to have the shakes, like a heroin addict on withdrawal...Which, in hindsight, I think he might have been.

    He lasted about a month. A while later, I was buying vegetables down in the seedy section of Honolulu's Chinatown. I saw him through the bay window of a bank. I think he was trying to get a loan, wearing black satin kung fu pants and a black t-shirt that had a big image of Bruce Lee and a dragon on it.

    ...There was this other guy. I was doing jo with Quintin Chambers and his friend, Donn Draeger came to train with us. We were training in a small public park up on the side of a small mountaintop. It took about a mile uphill to get there at a steep incline. You'd think nobody'd bother us, right?

    This young guy showed up in shorts and running shoes. He ran all the way uphill to the park, apparently to show us how in shape he was. He was all excited to talk to Draeger and Chambers, and as we practiced, he would go through a bunch of gyrations just a few yards away from us, including stretching, karate-like warm ups, kicking air, punching, doing made-up kata, wrapping his ankles around a tree and doing situps while punching gyakuzuki and kiai-ing like Bruce Lee.

    I'm not sure if he ever asked to join the jo group, but he kept doing it for a couple of weeks while Draeger worked with us, I suppose to try to impress us with his Bruce Lee-like moves. Sometimes it was too much even for ol' Donn, who would be distracted by the screaming, just smile and shake his head.

    He, too, eventually faded away.

    Wayne Muromoto

  15. #30
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    Default dojo visiters

    I was working at a mixed martial arts school a few years ago. But we had more traditional kids classes. We had a number of interesting walk ins. Here are a few of the better ones.

    This one guy walks in. He spoke spanglish. Anyway, he comes in asking if we had any black belts. I said yes. and he asked to see our "Champions." I asked what he was talking about. Then he said that in order to get a black belt, all of the masters send their students to Puerto Rico, where they all battle to the death, and the last man standing gets a black belt.

    I said that we don't have anyone like that, and he left in disgust.

    -------------------------------

    Another guy had an appointment to come in. He arrived when I was on the phone with someone so he was flipping through our testimonials. After I got off the phone I greeted him. He said he wasn't too impressed. I asked "With what, you haven't seen anyone train yet." He said "Well, I was reading what the students wrote. 'Thanks for helping with the #5 elbow strike'. I don't like that you use names for things." I then said that we use names so that people know what we're talking about when we demonstrate something or ask to see a technique. He shook his head unhappily.

    He then asked for some Korean style, which I had confessed I never heard of.

    He then asked what kind of katas we do. I said "We teach mixed martial arts, so we don't really cover katas at the adult level."

    Then he left.

    I found the weirdest thing to be that he had such utter disdain for things with names.

    My boss who made the appointment, then told me the guy was very interested in mixed martial arts, and seemed like an excited prospect. But I said he was interested in a Korean art, and my boss seemed confused because he had expressed a dislike of traditional schools on the phone.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    This one guy was a father of one of our students. He was self-taught. He said his son was only with us until he was old enough to be taught the kill techniques.

    So, one day we got in some rebreakable boards for the kids. They are plastic boards that have pegs you push into the slots, and they are about as difficult to break as a certain number of boards. He expressed interest in them. He wanted the strongest board, to make sure it wasn't too weak. So I grabbed the black board, which has a difficulty of 2.5 boards. The owner asked him what kind of strike he wanted to use to break it. He said a punch. So I held the board for him, had him adjust the height and all. Then he sets up to do a Bruce Lee style one inch punch. After six attempts, he gives up, and decides not to get a board.

    -------------------------------------------------------------
    Now, the grand finale.

    I was eating my pizza, getting ready for the first class. My boss is at the front desk. It's July. 98 degrees out. This guy walks in, all black, black cowboy hat, black trench coat, camo pants.

    He says: "Perhaps You've heard of me."
    Boss: "How would I have heard of you?"
    Guy: "I'm making my name known on the streets. Wherever I go, people honk their horns at me."
    Boss: "Ok."
    Guy: "You see, I've recently attained complete enlightenment, and now my reflexes are lightning fast, and I need Ninjutsu to hone my skills."

    Now, we didn't really teach Ninjutsu. A number of us had Bujinkan experience so we had 7 rolls, 6 throws, and 4 armlocks in the curriculum. But there was a Jinenkan group headed by two Dojo-Cho who had used our backroom for years, and to whom I was(and am) a student.

    Guy: "The way the Japanese do. I've recently overcome some demons and I need Classical Ninjutsu to hone my skills."

    So, my Boss gave him the number of one of the Dojo-Cho, and said they'd be there for class at 7pm. The guy called the Dojo-Cho(Chad), and had an exchange with him, repeating the exact same stuff.

    Come 7pm, this guys shows up. He decides not to take class, despite many offers to join in or do the warmups. He sits crossed legged on the floor, watching as he complains about his back hurting.

    Chad: "If you sit like this(In Seiza) or at least straighten your back, it wont hurt as much."
    Guy: "Really?"

    So, at the end of the class, he was asked about training. The guy said "Well, I don't really have any..money." He is asked to come back again anyway, but we never see him.

    One of my coworkers sees him later at a hollywood video, just staring at a video, he couldn't tell which one. Then he goes to the counter empty handed, and whips out his wallet. He shows the cashier a few dozen business cards. The cashier asks "Nice, are they yours?" and the guy replies "Nope, I've just picked them up from different places."

    Interesting, huh?

    Shawn Zemba

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