hmmm...
here are the details of how i do it, as well as i can explain on-line -
i wrap the obi so it rides on top of the ridge, and then the hakama sits on top - the knot/bow of the hakama is sitting right at my belly-button.
saya goes in-between folds of the obi, and over one hakama himo - haven't had any problems so far... it seems to sit pretty balanced. and my iaido teachers haven't complained...
now, i learned to wear a hakama first in naginata - from women - and i notice that kendoka [or at least the male kendoka i've seen] wrap their obi, and therefore their hakama, a lot lower on the hips. also the himo are handled differently.
I was told in naginata that it is a style thing, not a male/female thing - i have no idea what the revealed truth is from the other side.
mew
Margaret Welsh
"It's more fun when they do it to themselves." Barbara Hambly