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Thread: womens issues

  1. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by 7thSamurai
    Good stuff! Thanks for the responses.

    . At the end of one class, we all paired off for sparring. When she stepped in front of me, I could tell she was a bit apprehensive about squaring off against me. That in mind, I let her come to me. My instructor just wanted her to get used to actually hitting someone and making contact with another person. So she threw a few punches and started with a few kicks. At one point, she threw a kick and I raised my leg to block like I pretty much always do. She made shin to shin contact, when down and had to be carried off of the mat. It's something that I always do, kind of a reflex, and it never bothers me when I catch a shin there (been playing soccer for 26 years). Later that week, she phoned my instructor to claim that she went to the Dr., was advised to stay at home. She never returned to class and I am told by my instructor (a female) that this person felt I used excessive force and claims to have spent the better part of two months nursing her injury.
    Oh yes I have come across this before, some ladies and gentlemen are not suited to the Martial art they choose,some start because they are really interested in the ART and Asian culture and really donet anticipate the reality of it, and that at some point they will get hurt and have regular pains and bruises of course(training badges) some start because they really dont think it can be that hard and MAKE CONTACT aaaggghhh...
    I was years ago on an international cse a week long one ...hundreds there and I wondered why guys from my club and other people were avoiding this Black belt female even just walking off, I got with her as a partner as they wouldnot tell me why...well when we had to stop to listen I legged it ...in pair work she would not have ANY contact at all.she said she just did not belive in it and she was the teacher at her school....of course we kept this as a running gag at our DoJo for awhile..
    I know Men sometimes leave a club for the same reason they get an injury, but the nature of the boy is they tend to say It was boring !!! not oooh they hurt me ....
    A sensei should get the measure of the new person and pair them appropriately,in this case the lady I feel was not suited, if only I had got the address of that Black belt lady actually I think I can remember her name ....send the oooohhh dont touch it hurts students to her ....we can only help and guide and TLC when needed but at the end of the day no favours are done if you stay scared forever got to be guided and tenderised ,some ladys HATE a bruise ,I had a tiny bruise at work,I hadnt even noticed it and the girls at worked thought Id been maimed ....I wear a long sleeve top for MAIMING DAYS ,AS IM SURE THEY WOULD FAINT ...but I like it when I see a nice bruise means I had a real good time at class .dosent it ...oh ok bit strange ,but arent we all..
    Jax English

  2. #47
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    People have different pain threshholds. If a shin hurts, it hurts. I'm not studying MA to get maimed.

    Of course, I study kobudo. Perhaps more control is expected.
    'Leaves fall.'

  3. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by deaddoll
    some ladys HATE a bruise ,I had a tiny bruise at work,I hadnt even noticed it and the girls at worked thought Id been maimed ....I wear a long sleeve top for MAIMING DAYS ,AS IM SURE THEY WOULD FAINT ...but I like it when I see a nice bruise means I had a real good time at class .dosent it ...oh ok bit strange ,but arent we all..
    yeah, the bruises you get from full contact freak people out. I did a teensy weensy amount of badly taught Muay Thai a while back and would get big leg bruises from that. Nowadays because of all the wrestling and takedowns, I usually I have fingerprint bruises. It was alot worse when I started. I dont' get ken gripped as much now. I guess I avoid it better. It's funny how some men freak out about it and others could care less. I have an ex who would give me no end of crap for it (note that he is an ex) but the guy I am seeing now understands and is cool about it. My female physical therapist gets a little weird about it sometimes as well, but this is a woman who will run 20 miles with shin splints. I dunno, like I said before, people do the forms and sports that they like to do. My dad used to ask me if I could just do ballet instead but face it, ballerinas are some of the most injured people in the world. You can break your wrists snowboarding and you can blow out your knees running and skiing. Everything has an element of physical risk. At least you can toss the ladies at work around a little if they really get to you, you know?
    Laura Joffe

  4. #49
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    Years ago I had a bruised face, really black n blue and purple the whole of my left side, now it didnt really hurt but looked bloody awful.
    I was amazed as a girl how many men whom were strangers to me would stop me in the street and offer to be my champion, lots of who did this ? I will get them etc.....sometimes as the bruise was there for along time ,I used to wonder what they were on about as I used to forget about it.
    .
    I actually did the bruise myself in a moment of stupidness when I accidentally sommersaulted off the end of a trampoline and landed on my head (at least it was damage limitation)

    I have had 3 black eyes (not at the same time ) all of which I did myself,but find them ammusing because you forget you got them ,people stare and you look back at them as if to say who you looking at ,then you just look a right bruiser !!!!!
    so if you get a black eye just wear lots of goth make up and people wont stare
    Jax English

  5. #50
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    There was a female in a class I used to go to that liked to hit hard, but cried when you returned the favor, and even admitted that she didn't like to get hit. For a while those of us who sparred with her just did defensive type moves with her, but then we got tired of taking her bruises and started to hit her hard as well. The males in my class never pulled any punches with me. I've had my knee kicked out while sparring - it was an accident, of course, and I stood up and kept on going (probably looking rather goofy,but hey - ). I've had injuries to my hand and continued to spar. Most of my classmates were good about trying to give me a good workout without trying to take advantage of any injuries I suffered. Most of the students who went full force were the beginners. They either had something to prove, or felt as if they were fighting for their life...as more senior students, we never tried to beat down the beginners because we didn't want to scare them off. I looked on it as a chance to work on various defenses, though sometimes it got out of hand and I had to take back control of the situation (done, again, without beating them down). Some people look at sparring with a higher rank as a fight for life - I always looked at it as a chance to learn from someone more experienced than myself.

    When I first started, one of my male classmates did accidentially touch my breast while sparring, and felt really bad about it. After class he appologised to me, and said he really had trouble finding a good zone to hit me in because he was nervous about accidentally touching me in certain places. I told him not to worry about it - fact 1: I have breats. Fact 2: in a contact sport, there is always the possibility that they will get touched,hit, brushed, grabbed - whatever. Fact 3: if I ever have to use what I'm learning for self defense, the person attacking me is not going to be careful about not touching bits of me. After that, he was never shy again about sparring with me, which was a great help to me.

    I have found that most men that I meet who don't train tend to be afraid or nervous around me when they find out I do train. Its made for a few first date only type thing with very polite endings (shake your hand good night, please don't rip off my arm - yes, that was actually said to me and all I did was mention that I take karate over the course of the getting to know you dinner).

    I train because I love it, the changes it has made in my life have been wonderful, and I will never stop.
    K Webber

  6. #51
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    gee, the locker room I used was full of conversations between female type people comparing honestly-gotten bruises. I can think of a black-belt whose boyfriend refused to walk down the street with her when she had a black eye - cute Asian young lady, big, tall white guy - "I know what they will be thinking! nope, not, forget it - meet you there, honey."

    I think a lot of this thread is generalizing 'women', while we are a bunch of individuals with a wide range of skills and tolerences. ditto for guys -

    Now, while you can say "in my experience, most women [and I trained with XXX number of them] react. in such-and-so way ..." , you are doing yourself, your training and the training of "women in general" a disservice if you generalize from a sample of eight to half of humanity.

    I've known men and women who didn't like to spar.

    I've known men and women who told me of weird trainng-dreams related to powerlessness {the best was Ed, my 6'4" sempai - you don't want to know what came climbing though HIS window in his dreams!}

    :::utter contempt mode on:::
    I've known too many men, speaking of the "oh, don't hit me" bit, who want to dish it out, especially if he perceives you as weaker[meaning all women, any green belt, and older guys in general] but who fold and go into spasms of
    - "oh, osu, sempai", grovel, run - when they are lined up with someone who wants to rumble with them.

    But yes, the "Oh, don't hit me...THUD" type happens in females, too.

    :::utter contempt mode off:::

    actually, I will always fondly remember Sempai Anthony - a one-fight wizard -
    be you Bambi or be you King Kong, you got the same fight. The guy had no concept of a throttle. yeesh! but, when he lined up to fight those who could give him a hard time - he fought. A saving grace, I thought as I nursed various bruises. [Off the floor he was ok - just no throttle - that's a training flaw, though]

    mew
    Margaret Welsh

    "It's more fun when they do it to themselves." Barbara Hambly

  7. #52
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    well thread was womens issues so we generally tend to talk.about womens issues.I will chew over what you said at work ,Im not back till tomorrow ,have fun..
    Jax English

  8. #53
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    'its true this thread is women's issues - I just get annoyed when many of the "women's issues" are caused by "men's issues" of either training with or teaching women. :::grump:::

    And, when I teach I look at my students as individuals -
    "I teach everybody the same way" just doesn't do it for me.
    ::::grump again:::

    Now here's a women's issue - boy, I hate when I have cramps and am taking class - I feel like I'm sawed off from the hips down.

    :::wanders off to feed Charlotte & Emily, her pet dinosaurs:::


    mew
    Margaret Welsh

    "It's more fun when they do it to themselves." Barbara Hambly

  9. #54
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    Not exactly budo related, but I recall hearing about an incident that occured at my university (before I started there).
    Story goes like this: Young man walks out a door and holds it open for the person behind him. Person behind him is an extreme feminist and gives him a mouthful for patronizing her. Young man punches her. His response when questioned about the incident? "Well, if it had been a bloke, I would have punched him, too."
    Andrew Smallacombe

    Aikido Kenshinkai

    JKA Tokorozawa

    Now trotting over a bridge near you!

  10. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by mews
    'its true this thread is women's issues - I just get annoyed when many of the "women's issues" are caused by "men's issues" ::

    Good point ,love em as we do ,you are right ,but somewhere along the line the issues thing gets reversed and they get issues

    And, when I teach I look at my students as individuals -
    "I teach everybody the same way" just doesn't do it for me.

    Yes I agree,to teach the same way to everyone is wrong ,I think i understood alot of the posts as meaning not to do females an injustice in there training and go as hard as they can handle ,of course this also applys to the men.... to tell someone they did the move correct or not attack well enough so as they end up with no defence ,is going to turn real bad on them if they ever need to do for real ,or even iof they go as a visitor to another dojo !!



    Now here's a women's issue - boy, I hate when I have cramps and am taking class - I feel like I'm sawed off from the hips down.
    :
    Ah yes ,the dreaded cramps ,,I start taking Ibuprofen the day before ,as this is how this drug works on cramps to wait until you get just makes you sick, might help a bit but not so good..
    If I am teaching that night might find we do alot of stretching as this helps me ....
    also I wear a black gi most of the time for training ,I would not feel confident in white at this time ..
    hey just had a thought all the nice men who have been following these threads will have just ran away ..come back be brave !!!!!!!!!!!!

    mew
    my reply wont post until i added ten charecters so here they are
    Jax English

  11. #56
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    just an apology for the whole of the top post being in quote shade,thats why it wouldnt post ...silly me total user error,in my defence I did a 20 hr day yesterday well I know week defence but only one I got apart from stupidity
    Last edited by deaddoll; 27th February 2006 at 12:13.
    Jax English

  12. #57
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    The way I look at it, there is no such thing as gender specific issues. Just gender specific mindsets.
    'Leaves fall.'

  13. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Harlan
    The way I look at it, there is no such thing as gender specific issues. Just gender specific mindsets.
    of course there are gender issues .....men dont bleed constantly for 5 days and live ...we do.... and anatomy is also a training issue ..things girls deal with that boys dont ..pregnancy and training ,can all be issues
    Jax English

  14. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by deaddoll
    of course there are gender issues .....men dont bleed constantly for 5 days and live ...we do.... and anatomy is also a training issue ..things girls deal with that boys dont ..pregnancy and training ,can all be issues


    and while groin kicks :::hurt:::, they are not usually defining moments in our lives...

    mew
    Margaret Welsh

    "It's more fun when they do it to themselves." Barbara Hambly

  15. #60
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    I think they are only 'issues' if they get in the way of training to a substantial level that they need to be addressed.

    'Bleeding'? Give me a break...you might as well be talking about incontinance.

    Pregnancy? This is mostly a matter of individual responsibility. I have seen women joggers and athletes training to a point that I considered dangerous and foolhardy while pregnant, but in a 'normal' dojo the student needs to be proactive in informing others of their limits. Not much different than if I am recuperating from an injury.

    Boobs? Get a good bra, and learn to keep your elbows down.

    You bring up anatomy...I'm more concerned with my aging back and shot cartilage than aging mammary glands.
    'Leaves fall.'

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