Likes Likes:  0
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 16 to 30 of 33

Thread: Frequently Asked STUPID questions at your Dojo

  1. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Surrey, England
    Posts
    802
    Likes (received)
    0

    Default .

    Prospect: Your Ads says that you charge $100 per month unlimited training.

    Me. Yes

    Prospect: How many times a week can train then ?

    Me: How many days are there in a week ?

    Propect: Five ?
    Prince

    That should be a sketch on a TV show.

    You guys have covered some really good ones. The only one I can think of is during jodo...

    Student: Wouldn't this technique cut through the jo?

    Teacher: Not if I stick the whole length of it up your nose, like this....
    Andy Watson

    Minoru hodo
    Kobe o tareru
    Inaho ka na

    http://www.simenergy.co.uk

  2. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Gardena
    Posts
    2,842
    Likes (received)
    0

    Default

    Here's another with me and one of my 5 year old Joey;

    Me: Okay ! Today we are going to learn some Japanese terms of Left and Right ! Left is Hidari and Right is Migi. Everyone got it !

    Class: Hai !

    Me: Good ! Repeat after me ! Hidari is Left , Migi is Right !

    Class: Hidari is Left , Migi is Right !

    Me: Joey ! What japanese for left ?

    Joey: Hee Dar Rhee !

    Me: That's Right !

    Joey: Uh Ok ! Right !

    Me: No, Joey Hidari is left and right is Migi !

    Joey: You said right ?

    Me: No I said right as in You're correct ! So, What is Hidari

    Joey: Left

    Me: Right !

    Joey: Ok !

    Me: Ok what ?

    Joey: You said right !

    Me. Yes I did !

    Me: Ok Class forget Japanese terminology lessons today ! Let's work on our kihon ! Everybody , Hidari Ashi Mae Zenkutsu Dachi !

    Joey: Is that left footward ?

    Me: Right !

    Joey: ( Switches stance to right leg forward and the rest of the class followed)


    No wonder I enjoy teaching kids !
    Prince Loeffler
    Shugyokan Dojo

  3. #18
    Join Date
    May 2000
    Location
    Charleston, IL USA
    Posts
    441
    Likes (received)
    1

    Cool Well, not a dojo dumb question...

    Thought it was appropriate anyhow. My wife owns a costume shop here in town, a college town, mind you. Rental prices are clearly posted. Best question from a college student:

    "How much are your $29 costumes?"
    With respect,

    Mitch Saret

  4. #19
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Gardena
    Posts
    2,842
    Likes (received)
    0

    Default

    My 10 Year old: Sensei, What style karate does Santa trained in ?
    Me: Why do you asked that ?
    My 10 Year old: Because he is wearing a black belt !

    Prince Loeffler
    Shugyokan Dojo

  5. #20
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Victoria, Texas
    Posts
    145
    Likes (received)
    0

    Default

    During recent open house and demo at Dojo:

    Prospect: How long have you been training/teaching.....?

    Me: been involved in Martial arts approximately 41 years.

    Prospect: Can I get a Black Belt Here?

    Me: Depends on your willingness to commit and train with dedication.

    Prospect: Are you as good as the guy who teaches at ....dojo. He says he has been teaching 2 years and he can get me to Blackbelt as quickly as he did.

    Me: How long was that?

    Prospect: 2 years, I really want a black Belt bad and as quick as I could get it.

    Me: it takes approximately 4 -5 years to get Black Belt rank (training 2-3 times a week) and 1 year is served as Brown Belt doing Shodan internship. You can wear a Black Belt or you can be a Black Belt (at this point prospect has an extremely perplexed look on his face and I know that the statement went completely over his head at which time I respond) Maybe this Dojo is not for you. Maybe you can go train at..... so you can get your Black Belt as soon as possible.

    No longer prospect: If I pay you extra will you give me the Black belt as quickly as... so I can have 2.

    Me: do you have $300,000.00 per year?

    Him: He's not gonna charge me that much.

    Me: (rolling eyes) sorry, I have to go attend to others here at the Dojo
    (thinking I have to wear a T shirt that say's:
    ALLERGIC TO STUPID PEOPLE.....IF YOU ARE ONE STAY AWAY.....POSSIBLE ALLERGIC REACTIONS INCLUDE SWIFT STRIKING DOWN OR SIDEWAYS MOTION WITH SAMURAI SWORD)
    Rick Torres, Dojo Cho
    Integrity Defensive Arts
    Victoria, Texas
    www.ksrjujitsu.com
    [/B]

  6. #21
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    53
    Likes (received)
    0

    Default

    Student: (jokingly) But what if he has a gun?

    Teacher: *draws sword* SHOW THE NECK!


    Good times, Good times...


    Paul Green

  7. #22
    Join Date
    May 2000
    Location
    Trippin'
    Posts
    4,373
    Likes (received)
    3

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jitsumania View Post
    (thinking I have to wear a T shirt that say's:
    ALLERGIC TO STUPID PEOPLE....)
    That would make a great shirt to wear.

  8. #23
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    21
    Likes (received)
    0

    Default

    I have seem many people going into Aikido dojos and ask about "flying kicks," then look puzzled when people try to explain we do not practice kicking. Many people think the different between martial arts and combatative sports is kicking.

    But the worst ones mention of Bruce Lee (especially asking connections to Bruce Lee for credibility's sake) lol
    Shawn Douglass

  9. #24
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    21
    Likes (received)
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TommyK View Post
    While teaching a technique, against a specific type of attack, the 'brain surgeon' says: " I understand what you are doing, but what if I did this instead (while mimicing a different attack)?" The response is: "... then you would not be learning this technique!"
    I used to be a horrible student like that. I had a background in boxing and "worldly experience" so I was constantly a skeptic. What was really horrible, was that I decided to "test" out the instructors and even the sensei. As in, in addition to asking these types of stupid question, I would suddenly through in another attack. Amazingly, this place was so thoroughly trained that I never caught anyone off guard - especially amazing when you consider the typical denigrated reputation of Aikido being "rehearsed." I always landed up either on my back or in a painful lock without having any idea how it happened. In the case of some of the more junior instructors - they didn't even know how they ended up putting me in a different technique until after it happened and they thought about it! This is why I believe in my dojo. Heartwarming story hehe.
    Shawn Douglass

  10. #25
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Durham, North Carolina
    Posts
    1,253
    Likes (received)
    1

    Default

    That kind of testing makes you a pretty good student, though. I've trained with someone like that, ex-Golden Gloves, ex-Vietnam vet. That's exactly why he trained with us, because that kind of testing wasn't catching people off guard, at least not the seniors. For people junior to him, he didn't do that unless he felt it necessary for instructional purposes.

    The one problem our teacher had with him was that he'd do what he called "bar kata." That is, he'd take what he'd learned that week down to a bar and see how it worked. Our teacher had a minor problem with that, mostly that he didn't like to see his students PICKING fights.
    Trevor Johnson

    Low kicks and low puns a specialty.

  11. #26
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    21
    Likes (received)
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor Johnson View Post
    The one problem our teacher had with him was that he'd do what he called "bar kata." That is, he'd take what he'd learned that week down to a bar and see how it worked. Our teacher had a minor problem with that, mostly that he didn't like to see his students PICKING fights.
    lol!

    I've heard a similar story (actually stories) regarding many dojos. I have heard that during the 60s and 70s some uchi-deshi at the Yoshinkan hombu dojo were sneaking out to Yakuza bars and picking fights, the "reasoning" being that it was somehow justifiable in a vigilante type of way and that they would be the most experienced fighters in the area. Specifically I heard that this was when they were changing/developing some techniques and debating which methods of initiating them would be most effective. OUCH
    Shawn Douglass

  12. #27
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    21
    Likes (received)
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor Johnson View Post
    That kind of testing makes you a pretty good student, though. I've trained with someone like that, ex-Golden Gloves, ex-Vietnam vet. That's exactly why he trained with us, because that kind of testing wasn't catching people off guard, at least not the seniors. For people junior to him, he didn't do that unless he felt it necessary for instructional purposes.
    Definitely a big reason why I believe in my dojo.

    But as for being a good/bad student... well I think it was pretty disrespectful of me to come in and start doing things like that. The patience of my instructors was/is amazing. On top of that, what I quickly learned is that the counters to the the "unplanned" attacks or escape attempts I did were much, much, much more painful and dangerous (since it was an instant reaction for them after all) than the original planned technique we were supposed to be practicing. I have since stopped risking my health unnecessarily and simply started to ask questions lol.
    Shawn Douglass

  13. #28
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Durham, North Carolina
    Posts
    1,253
    Likes (received)
    1

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Shaggy Doo View Post
    Definitely a big reason why I believe in my dojo.

    But as for being a good/bad student... well I think it was pretty disrespectful of me to come in and start doing things like that. The patience of my instructors was/is amazing. On top of that, what I quickly learned is that the counters to the the "unplanned" attacks or escape attempts I did were much, much, much more painful and dangerous (since it was an instant reaction for them after all) than the original planned technique we were supposed to be practicing. I have since stopped risking my health unnecessarily and simply started to ask questions lol.
    True, but it's also a good idea to test first to see if they've a good idea of what a fight's like. If you get a bunch of people who DON'T know how to fight, they start self-reinforcing some really bad ideas.
    Trevor Johnson

    Low kicks and low puns a specialty.

  14. #29
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    202
    Likes (received)
    0

    Default

    Really great stories guys. There's this one incident I'll never forget:

    Our Sensei went to an international seminar and the some of the core members (including myself) went as well. The second day of training there was a session from a Norwegian sensei in gendai jujutsu. My teacher didn't have to teach that period so I didn't have to be his Uke. The Norwegian sensei looked very spirited and enthousiastic, so my teacher, myself and two friends decided to join in on his class.

    One of the techniques he teached was delivering a low-kick to the opponents front leg when the opponent punched. So far so good.

    Minor detail though: he expected you to fall down when you recieved the low-kick. Now I don't know about you guys, but one low-kick is not going to get someone on his/her knees. In some cases it might. But it's not a given. Anyway, I did the technique with a partner, without the falling down part. The Sensei saw this and came to me saying:

    "You have to fall down. It's not easy, but do it".

    I: "Why should I fall down?"

    He: "Because of the kick you will."

    I: "That doesn't make any sense, Sensei"

    He: "I'll show you. I kick okay?"

    -My sensei saw what was going on and looked at me with a puzzeld look on his face. He just nodded and said nothing. -

    So, the sensei gave me a low kick. I blocked it with my leg. He just looked at me with a sense of surprise and said: "I know it is difficult but try again, you fall."

    So he kicked and I blocked. After his 3rd attempt to get me down he told me to keep training and walked away.

    Honestly, strangest encounter of my life as a martial artist...

    greetings,


    Regards,
    Christophe van Eysendyck.

  15. #30
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    The Pagan Barbarian Kingdom of the Netherlands
    Posts
    243
    Likes (received)
    0

    Default

    Prospective student: Don't you have like, no contact karate?
    Me:
    Remi Vredeveldt

    "Hysterical knowledge is often mistaken for historical knowledge"

    Boni enim duces non aperto proelio, in quo est commune periculum, sed ex occulto semper adtemptant Vegetius Liber III, 9:5

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 1 2 3 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •