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Thread: Expel from Dojo (hamon)?

  1. #16
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    Depends

    From an ethical POV, yes, IMO you have every right to admit or dismiss a student for any reason you wish.

    Membership in a MA school is not a right, but a privilege.

    That being said, the real question is what is the contractual nature of the relationship? As in do you have a contract and what are its specifics?

    If you do, then the chances are that you are essentially required to provide training until the contract has expired/reached it end date.

    However, even if you do, its likely that you can void the contract by returning all monies paid even if the contract has not reached an end date. As in "things are just not working out, I'm not happy, you are not happy, here is all your money back for the year, please find somewhere else that will make you happy."

    Might be worth it just to not have to deal with her anymore.

    If you don't have a contract, and the mother is dinging you and your business online, if she is indeed "making every effort not to show up" then you have every right to dismiss her child.

    I'd say you are showing an admirable amount of restraint given her mothers actions. ie. essentially bashing you online, not showing up for meetings. etc.
    Last edited by cxt; 13th November 2017 at 14:19.
    Chris Thomas

    "While people are entitled to their illusions, they are not entitled to a limitless enjoyment of them and they are not entitled to impose them upon others."

    "Team Cynicism" MVP 2005-2006
    Currently on "Injured/Reserve" list due to a scathing Sarcasm pile-up.

  2. #17
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    I don't see how a child of nine can be issued "hamon." It's her mother/parents who are out of line. A child is a child.

    IMO, when parents have the power to dictate how a dojo should grant rank or be run, then it is not a dojo in the traditional sense -- where students come in humility to both learn and serve an art -- but a commercial school where the customer is king. Nothing wrong with that, but there's a difference. Dojo can issue hamon. A commercial school (however traditional its demeanor, otherwise) simply can refuse to "do business" with unreasonable customers.
    Cady Goldfield

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  4. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prince Loeffler View Post
    Note:

    They have not been showing up as they are made aware of the need for a meeting with me. Mom is absolutely making every efforts not to show up. Your thoughts ?
    Hamon is a bit drastic and overly dramatic, in my opinion. It seems that your problems has already been mostly solved, since they are no longer showing up. I would suggest sending them a nice email (or letter) stating that since they seem to be doing well at their new dojo, you see no need for them to continue training at yours. Also put in there, directly addressing the kid, that if they decide that they would rather come back to your dojo in the future, to please contact you to discuss it.

    This gets rid of the distraction while still leaving you standing on the moral high ground without needing explanations. To Hamon someone leaves you in morally ambiguous territory, especially where kids are involved.

    My opinions only.

    Good luck!
    Paul Smith
    "Always keep the sharp side and the pointy end between you and your opponent"

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  6. #19
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    Good idea/s.

    Why bother with the headache if its going to work itself out and they are essentially going to self-select out.

    The mother will no doubt stop bagging on the old school and start bagging on the new one in short order.

    Looks like all problems solved. Without him needing to do anything.

    My only caution is that sometimes its a good lesson for the others that people can and will be cut from the team. Worked wonders for my old football coach. No one person is more important than the team as a whole.

    Overkill and highly problematic for a 9 year old though
    Chris Thomas

    "While people are entitled to their illusions, they are not entitled to a limitless enjoyment of them and they are not entitled to impose them upon others."

    "Team Cynicism" MVP 2005-2006
    Currently on "Injured/Reserve" list due to a scathing Sarcasm pile-up.

  7. #20
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    No contracts? And never been a problem to date? Lucky you.
    http://shugyokan.wixsite.com/front
    I wonder what California state law considers the implied contract.
    Lance Gatling ガトリング
    Tokyo 東京

    Long as we're making up titles, call me 'The Duke of Earl'

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  9. #21
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    Also, doesn't 'hamon' require 'nyumon' - formal, sworn entry into the ryuha?
    Do you do that?
    Even with 9 yr olds?
    Lance Gatling ガトリング
    Tokyo 東京

    Long as we're making up titles, call me 'The Duke of Earl'

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