Precepts of The Cat

[Ellionator]

Hello all,

I spent a year living and teaching at a small school in the mountains of North Carolina. During that time I was practicing mountain seclusion, outdoor skills, and the martial arts, particularly Ninjutsu. I lived with my cat Shinobi, and after a year of practice in solitude, found that I learned more from Shinobi regarding Ninjutsu than any book or other source on the subject that I possessed. After observing his behavior, I decided it would benefit my persuit of Budo if I wrote something up. After all, the 32nd Grandmaster of Tagakure Ryu Ninjutsu said to, "pursue the literary and martial arts with balanced determination." This took me some time to get this far on and it is a work in progress. Understand that I did not do all of this at once, it was a longer process.

HELP COMPLETE THIS!
Since this was written for my personal growth in training, I am not worried about people stealing it. I simply want it to be an available source for others. As you can see, some parts of the document are missing. If anyone would like to finish those parts, I welcome you. After all, I know many of you practice Ninjutsu. Theres lots that can be edited or revised. If you have any revisions or additions, spell-check and post them as a reply and there is a good chance I will edit them in. I would love for the rest of this to become a collected work. Unfinished segments are noted. Thanks and enjoy!

Had to do multiple posts to get it all out everyone. Sorry bout that.
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Precepts of The Cat


The cat stalks its prey.
The cat is a master of evasion.

The cat recedes and advances when necessary.
The cat sees well in the dark.
The cat has heightened senses.

The cat keeps its weapons hidden, and draws them swiftly.
The cat utilizes its claws as both tools and weapons.

The cat climbs well and knows the advantage of height.
The cat prefers the outdoors, and works with nature.

The cat is not hindered by the thought of past or future.
The cat is not hindered by the thought of love.
The cat is not hindered by the thought of death.

The cat prefers to operate at night.
The cat is a master of stealth.


CONTENTS

Chapter 1: THE ELEMENTS
Chapter 2: THE PRECEPTS
1 - Stalking
2 - Evasion
3 - Receding and advancing
4 - Night Vision
5 -The Senses
6 - Hidden Weapons
7 - Weapons as Tools
8 - Climbing
9 - Nature
10 - Time
11 - Love
12 - Death
13 - Shadow
14 - Stealth

Chapter 3: THE 18 SKILLS
* Seishin teki kyoyo (spiritual refinement)
* Taijutsu (unarmed combat)
* Ninja ken (ninja sword)
* Bojutsu (stick and staff fighting)
* Shurikenjutsu (throwing blades)
* Yarijutsu (spear fighting)
* Naginatajutsu (halberd fighting)
* Kusarigama (chain and sickle weapon)
* Kayakujutsu (fire and explosives)
* Hensojutsu (disguise and impersonation)
* Shinobi iri (stealth and entering methods)
* Bajutsu (horsemanship)
* Sui ren (water training)
* Bo-ryaku (strategy)
* Cho ho (espionage)
* Intonjutsu (escape and concealment)
* Ten-mon (meteorology)
* Chi-mon (geography)

Chapter 4: IMPORTANT WRITINGS

[Ellionator]

CHAPTER 1: THE ELEMENTS

If you walk to this mountain, you will see that it is rather shallow and worn down. All over it you will find aged pine trees, which tower above the thick green underbrush and point strait to the stars. Do not allow yourself to be unaware. Consciously heighten your senses. Listen to the veins of the earth as they flow in the distance, rolling over ancient smoothed stone. Listen to the rhodadendron leaf as it tumbles across the forest floor. Do not ignore the sight of a barn owl perched on a shadowy branch in the distance. Do not ignore the sensation of the wet soil beneath your feet. Do not ignore the light breeze as it hits your cheek. Do not ignore anything in this forest, and you will understand the core of Ninpo.
When you finally reach the top, where the air is crisp, and each breath is like taking a sip of water, you must look for a mound of thick, mossy stones. Here you will find a cave entrance, hidden beneath an overhang. It resembles a sharks mouth, opened for the kill, and something, some Ki from the darkness, beckons you to enter. Use Shinobi iri, and slowly move your body into the entrance and through the darkness. Carefully feel wherever you step, and relax as you breathe in and out. Most would be blind in this place, but your senses guide you with surprising ease. The room is cold, dark, and damp, yet you remain comfortable in this place. When you are well into the room, you make out two dark figures sitting in the center. Completely unmoving, it is as if they are frozen in time. After some time, you hear soft voices whispering. You strain your night vision, and faintly make out what looks to be a panther and a house cat. One is jet black, has long drooping whiskers, hypnotic yellow eyes, and seems to be the elder of the two. The younger cat has a black face and a glassy stare through aquamarine eyes, with a white body speckled in black coloration, and never falters in his attention to the Panthers words.

Panther: It is my intention to introduce you to the core of Ninjutsu, but if you truly want to master the way, you must be persistent in the practice of stealth, balance, movement, focus, and the art of the body. You must understand that the body encompasses the universe, and the universe encompasses the body. Remember to evade a potential threat by disappearing into the shadows. Know the way of Nature, and persist in your practice of the precepts and disciplines associated with our way.

House Cat:Yes Sensei. I am grateful to have this moment of reflection with you. Can you tell me, where do I begin in my training?

Panther: You must first practice your movements.

House Cat: How should one move?

Panther: One should move how nature tells them to. Move like the creek, move like the mountain, and move like the ocean. Move like the moon and the stars. Move with the earth. For the earth is working with you, if you will only let it. The elements will guide you in your movement. Feel the flow of the elements when you execute your movements. Never simply put the name of an element behind a movement. You must feel the element when executing the movement, otherwise the movement will lose all potency and will simply become a useless exhibition. I cannot describe to you the essence of movement, because the essence of movement must be discovered on ones own. But I can tell you this; move.

House Cat: Could you explain to me your perception of the five elements of nature?

Panther: The five elements work together to compose the physical manifestation of universal Ki, or void. This universal energy is felt in all things, and thus imposes a feeling of nothingness. When you creep through the shadows, pay attention to the beating of your heart. When you hear the call of a bird, heed whether or not it is singing in alarm or singing in forage. If you hear a bird singing in alarm, it is likely your heart is beating fast, or perhaps you are stumbling clumsily through the brush. The Ki coming from your own body turns out to be the alert nature receives about your presence. But if you meditate on Ka, Sui, Fu, Chi, and Ku, and move through the shadows with the understanding that you manifest these elements, and these elements manifest you, you will not be detected.

House Cat: Yes sensei. Regarding these five elements, can you go into more depth about what they are?

Panther: They embody all things. None of these elements can exist without the other elements, and thereby are around us in infinite variety.

Ka (Fire)
The embodiment of the flame in all things. There is a love that you must have for our way and for the Universe. When flesh touches flame, it burns with great intensity, think upon this deeply. If a predator corners you, you must move like a flame and perhaps with great speed and power.

Sui (Water)
The embodiment of fluidity in life. We are but a drop of water in an ocean of Ki. Consider the sensation of floating down a strong stream. There are natural ups and downs in all things, and you must float down these rapids like a leaf in a stream. You must adapt to any style by using this fluidity. Know when to recede, and when to come crashing down like the waves.

Fu (Wind)
The clarity you must have to master our way. When you move on a cold night, rather than shiver from the wind, let it refresh you with new knowledge. Let it remind you of natures power. Let the cold help you understand the lessons of nature. You must know just how to move in order to corner the mouse or squirrel. If a predator strikes, you must know just where to move for them to hit air. Their weapon must sway through nothing but wind.


Chi (Earth)
When you wait for your prey, you must become the soil and be as immovable as the earth. Your mind and body must be rooted to the ground, or your prey will feel your presence. If an enemy attacks you, do not cower, but stand your ground with courage and commitment, rooted to the earth.

Ku (Void)
The universal energy which flows through all things. Ku is nothingness, and cannot be put into words.

Reflect on these elements deeply.

House Cat: You say the first thing I should do in my pursuit of Budo is to practice movement. But what specifically should I practice to further understand the universal energy you speak of?

Panther: You are but a body on this earth, and thus you must use this body to explore the void. You must practice the precepts of the cat, which utilize the body. It is a life study, which always can be improved upon. In that sense, it can never be fully mastered. But if you wish to succeed in our way, you must practice these precepts as often as possible.

House Cat: What are these precepts?

[Ellionator]

CHAPTER 2: THE PRECEPTS



Panther:

1 - The cat stalks its prey.

The cat crouches in the bushes at the edge of its territory, watching the dog, which trots along the yard. The instant the dog turns its spectrum of vision away from the cats position, the cat creeps out and crouches as close to the ground as it can. The cat’s path of movement loops wide around, in order to avoid the prey from detecting any movement. With its tail raised for added balance the cat moves slowly closer. It bends each leg with each step, and does not make a sound. When the cat is about four feet away, the dog smells it and turns about, but it is too late. With lightening speed the cat springs from its crouched position, and despite coming out of a stalk, it seems as if it is coming out of a running charge. The cat lands on the back of the dog, claws unsheathed, and uses the momentum of the dogs turning body to slide its claws across the dogs back, and tumble back into the bushes, avoiding the huge jaws which desperately snap at air.

Stalking
By stalking, you remain the defender up until the last moment. As soon as an opponent blocks your attack, they are the defender and therefore have the upper hand, for you have lost the benefit of surprise. You have lost the stalk. Therefore, stalking can also be achieved in combat. Your claws are stalking when they emerge from their hiding positions in your paw. Your arm is stalking as it springs from one position to one that is unexpected by the prey. Stalking in combat is knowing what will take your opponent by surprise, and not allowing your opponent to be aware of your movement. The practice of Shinobi iri can thus benefit the practice of Taijutsu and the other disciplines. Although your foot lies at rest, it must be able to spring into life and move at lightening speed. If stalking an opponent for whatever reason, you should be prepared to move without hesitation in the case of being detected. If an attack is anticipated, the attack is no longer stalking, and the plan must be changed. Just like the cat will change its strategy from a slow, crouching movement, to a charge . Always adjust rhythm when necessary.

When stalking, pay attention to your breath, and control your mental Ki. Your opponent will feel your Ki if you do not know how to mask it. You must become one with the earth beneath your feet, and move as if you were the breeze. Bend your knees and other joints in the leg in order to allow the earth to absorb each step. Every motion you make should not exist, in the sense that the elements absorb the motion. This is the way of remaining invisible. You must let the elements absorb you.

2 - The cat is a master of evasion.

The cat stands next to the creek, scouting the area around it to see if it is safe to get a drink of water. Something does not feel right, and the cat continues to look around, also probing with its whiskers in order to pick up on any unnatural rhythms of nature. The cracking of a stick, loud enough to be a large animal, verifies the cats unease. It looks into the distance and sees a large fox stalking toward it. As soon as the fox notices its cover blown, it begins to run at the cat. First the cat arches its back high, stands tall, and extends its hairs to make itself look larger. The fox continues to run toward the cat. Next, the cat examines the fox carefully as it gets closer. The cat considers the speed of the fox, the size of the fox, and all other physical and mental qualities that the fox seems to posses. The fox gets closer in his run and is nearing the creek. The cat, after examining the fox, calculates what it must do to survive in confrontation with this courageous predator, and without any further hesitation turns and sprints away. The cat weaves its way through the thick underbrush as the fox follows close behind. The cat takes one sharp u-turn at the last minute, and silently bolts up a tree. When the fox turns to follow the cat, he finds that the cat has disappeared. The fox sniffs around for a moment, looking into the distance, then loses interest and goes to get a drink of water.

Evasion
Evasion is important in any situation. Whether you are hiding from a hungry raccoon, or dodging a strike, you must know how to evade the enemy. You can use the elements to aid you in the art of evasion. You must also religiously practice Shinobi Iri in order to truly master evasion. Do not just hide in the bush, next to the rock, or up the tree. You must become the bush, rock, and tree. This requires the right mindset. If you think too much about being seen, you may be seen. If you hold your breath and thus consequently change the rhythm of your body, you may be seen. You must be one with the universal Ki in order to truly camaflauge yourself. After all, Ku (Void) is universal, and makes up all things. If the enemy swings at you, you need to be able to evade their strike by making use of the nature around you.. The elements, which manifest nature, make up all things, including the moving body, so use them frequently in your practice of evasion. Become familiar with the sensation of hiding in a pit of mud, or submerging into frigid water. Be familiar with the sensation of rolling into the earth, or jumping through the air.

3 - The cat recedes and advances when necessary.


The cat stalks the snake across the grass lawn. At just the right moment, it springs upon the snake, snapping it’s jaws into the snakes neck. But instead of finishing the deed, the cat springs away. By moving away from the snake, the cat is able to reposition itself behind the snake, and make another lunge at the snake without the danger of being bitten by the snakes fangs. Each time the cat positions its body low to the ground, in a stalking position. The scene appears as if the cat is playing with the snake, and torturing it into a slow death, rather than simply killing it swiftly.

Receding and Advancing
The cat “plays” (moving in and out of contact repeatedly) with its prey so that it will never be within the preys reach, and thus can avoid any possible injury during the ensuing battle. Stalking, Evading, and any other technique involves receding and advancing. Just like a river runs swiftly over the earth in one place, and calmly over the earth in another, the cat must know when it is benefitial to move swiftly like a cheetah, or silently like a panther. When the cat stalks the dog, it moves slow and silent, but when the dog turns to face it, the cat suddenly breaks into the charge. This is an example of receding and advancing. When an opponent strikes at you, you must use your instincts to feel where you must move. Perhaps receding backward, away from the enemies range is the best option, or perhaps advancing forward, where you can subdue the enemy is the best option. Thinking this through will not do, and you must simply feel it. Like the cat who knows its enemy and decides to dissapear, you must know your enemy and know when it is appropriete to advance and when it is appropriete to recede. Know your ememy by feeling the Ki coming from them and becoming one with that Ki. If the enemy has weapons or abilities which give it an advantage, you must recede and use your abilities in stalking and evasion to then advance and take the enemies advantages away from them, perhaps using them for your own benefit. Know when to recede like the tides, and come crashing back down like the waves.



4 -The cat sees well in the dark.

The small mole moves from its position of hiding and out onto the lawn to forage for its evening meal. Carefully, it scans the surrounding darkness for any sign of a predator, and strains its ears to hear any unnatural movement. The mole seems content and bends its head down to the earth to smell for food. Without warning, a black cat emerges from the shadows just behind it, and sinks its teeth into its neck. Just before its death, the mole shakes in surprise, for the cat must have been waiting in the shadows just behind its nest ever since it awoke nearly three hours ago. While crunching on its new meal, the cat hears something from behind it. Turning its head, the cat sees a large owl swooping down toward it. Quickly grabbing the mole in its mouse, the cat jumps into a dark briar bush, and is able to swiftly weave its way to eventual safety without hurting itself on the protruding briars, and without losing its bounty.

Night Vision
It can take up to forty minutes to fully develop your night vision. You must be like the cat patiently waiting in the shadows for its prey to emerge. Patience will allow your eyes to fully adjust to the dark. Looking up at the stars can also shorten the time that your eyes will take to adjust. Like the cat who runs through the briar bush in the pitch dark, you must develop your senses to go through seemingly impossible terrain in the night. Vision is not only with the eyes. When moving through an area at night, use all your senses.
Use the night as your ally. The darkness can comfort you, and can make it easier for you to tap into the void, which will aid you in your movement. Remember that you are never blind. Only someone who is naïve to the senses ever truly believes they are blind. Practice your awareness by focusing on sights, sounds, smells, and other sensations which you would normally ignore. Learn to stop ignoring these stimuli. You should develop your senses so that you can close your eyes and move through a dark forest, knowing just where to go to avoid hitting any trees.
The void is your best guide in the dark. Using your senses to tap into the void while moving through the dark will aid you more than any light ever could, so practice moving without vision. After all, a bright light will instantly destroy your night vision, and you will consequently be reliant on light for survival. You must rely on your own body, and nothing else.

5 - The cat has heightened senses

The cat sits and relaxes, enjoying the sun. Suddenly, the scurrying of an animal moves in the woods, and the cats head instantly glances toward the sound. The cats whiskers move slightly, and its ears stand tall, as it sniffs the air and stares toward the noise. After a few seconds the cat recognizes the movement to be a squirrel as it climbs a branch toward a birds nest. No longer threatened by the sound, the cat relaxes and closes its eyes. The ears remain raised and the whiskers continue to move around, while the cat basks in the sun. Within minutes, a rabbit hops out of the bushes near the cat, making its routine forage through the area. Just as the rabbits paws hit the ground, as if it were never sleeping in the first place, the cat springs into the air in a backward direction from the rabbits movement. As the cat lands it arches its back and unsheathes its claws, prepared to fight. The rabbit darts away in fear, and after scanning its surroundings again, the cats coils back up and goes to sleep.

The Senses
It is important to use your senses in order to manifest the void. Every life form is connected to the void through the senses, and while practicing the precepts you must work to strengthen this connection. Spend time concentrating on each single sense, and work to comprehend the potency of each of these senses. For example, look at a rock which lies at rest next to a stream bank. Focus all of your Ki without reservation to the image of that rock. Pay attention to each small groove, and each piece of growth on the surface of the rock. After you have focused on this sense, start to blend the rest of your senses in, to make it a universal awareness. Allow your focus to expand, taking in the sound of the creek, the smell of the brush around you, and the feeling of the air as it passes through your lips. While taking in these types of senses, you should continue your focus on the rock. Your focus on the rock should not decline because of your attention toward your other senses. Rather, your attention to your other senses should become a part of the scheme of totality, and thus should not interfere at all with your visual study of the rock. Next you can focus on every detail of the scent around you, and put all of your Ki into understanding the nuances of that scent. But just as before, you must incorporate the other senses but not allow them to distract you from the scent that you are focusing on. Doing this for every sense will ultimately strengthen all of your senses. But this process must not be rushed. This practice is very important because the senses will help you in every single precept and discipline. Thus practicing the senses will always contribute to every single aspect of your ability.

[Ellionator]

6 - The cat keeps its weapons hidden, and draws them swiftly.

The cat sits and stares at the squirrel with a calm expression on its face. The squirrel is threatened by the cats presence, and in order to defend its nest it bares its teeth and attempts to look as vicious as possible. The cat simply concentrates on the squirrel without revealing its teeth or claws, and bends down preparing to strike. The squirrel, believing to have superior weaponry, charges toward the cat, extending its claws, puffing out its hair, and revealing its sharp teeth. When the squirrel is just in reach, the cat unsheathes its claws, which lay hidden in its paws the whole time, and strikes the squirrel across the face. When the squirrel then turns to run, the cat pounces, landing on the squirrel and biting down on its neck with its fangs, only now revealed, which provide a swift execution.

Hidden Weapons
Deception is one of your greatest weapons. It is more powerful than the sharpest of blades. As I said before, stalking is used in every successful attack, because it is the practice of striking your opponent when the strike was not anticipated. In order to properly stalk, you must use deception. This may mean disguising your ki so that it blends with Ku, and thus allows you to dissapear, or it may mean hiding a weapon so that an opponent is unaware of your hidden advantage. When you wear a sheath, the opponent will think your weapon is as long as the sheath. However, if your weapon is shorter, you will be able to draw the weapon faster than the enemy anticipated, and strike the enemy with a speed that they might think supernatural. This is an example of deception, and therefore and example of good stalking. Just as the cat draws its claws at the last minute, without any prior warning to this action, you must draw your metsubishi, shuriken, shinobi-gatana, or any other advantageous weapon you might possess without any prior warning to the true action. The potency of having a hidden weapon will dissapear if you simply draw the weapon when you and your opponent are in a stand-off. The cat would be foolish to reveal its claws to the squirrel, which may cause the squirrel to change tactics or flee. Instead, the cat lets the prey deliver itself to the predator, thus saving energy and risk. When practicing taijutsu, practice hidden strikes, and using distractions to confuse the enemy. Practice putting all of your ki into a punch in order to fool the opponent, but swiftly shifting that ki to a kick which comes in from an unexpected angle. You always have a hidden weapon. Whether that be a shuriken tucked into a pocket or a kick cleverly disguised as a punch.



7 - The cat utilizes its claws as both tools and weapons.
The dog charges at the cat with a ferocious bark. Not having enough distance to run away from the dog, the cat jumps to the side and claws at the dogs face. The dog yelps in pain and turns about, but the cat is already gone. The cat tears across the forest floor and springs up into a spruce tree. It extends its claws and climbs up the tree almost as swiftly as it ran, leaving the dog circling the tree in bewilderment.

Weapons as Tools
It is foolish to think of a weapon as only an implement for combat. The cat will use its claws to climb, dig, mark its territory, along with a wide array of other uses. Budo is a spiritual path, and serves as a means for survival in times of turmoil. If we can use our weapons as tools for survival, rather than simply implements of combat, we are strengthening the Budo that we practice. Like the claws of a cat, Shuko can be used for climbing, gripping objects, tearing at an opponents face, or blocking a sword. Shinobi Zuken can be used as a means for hiding your identity, but can just as easily be used for strangling an assailant or as a tying implement. Shuriken can be used as a throwing weapon, or as a method of picking locks. Metsubishi can be used as a means of blinding an enemy, or simply distracting an enemies attention in a direction opposite of your position. You will have an advantage over the enemy if you use your weapons to the greatest capacity. Weapons can serve as tools, and tools can serve as weapons. The mind and body are both weapons, but they are also both tools. Never forget that they are all one.

8 - The cat climbs well and knows the advantage of height.
The leopard waits paitiently on top of the overhanging tree branch. Not moving a muscle, it relaxing and enjoys each breath. The leopards ears move every once and a while, picking up every small sound in the forest. The leopard suddenly looks down, as an anteater moves below, submerging from the bushes. Without hesitation the leopard springs from the branch and lands on top of the ant-eater, biting down onto its neck.

Climbing
I have spoken to you already about the importance of evasion, and stalking in all aspects of Ninpo. Most living creatures fail to look up as often as they should. Attacking from an unexpected angle will maintain your stalk, and thus enable you to make a direct hit. Above is often times an unexpected angle. In direct combat, anything around you can be used as a compliment to your evasion. Shuko aid in climbing to allow for the Shinobi to climb faster than expected, just as the claws of a cat can withdraw from the paw and allow the cat to escape danger with astounding speed. Practice of climbing should not be neglected.


9 - The cat prefers the outdoors, and works with nature.
Nature


10 - The cat is not hindered by the thought of past or future.
Time


11 - The cat is not hindered by the thought of love.
Love

12 - The cat is not hindered by the thought of death.
Death

13 – The cat prefers to operate at night.
Shadow

14 – The cat is a master of stealth.
Stealth

[Ellionator]

CHAPTER 3: THE 18 SKILLS
* Seishin teki kyoyo (spiritual refinement)
* Taijutsu (unarmed combat)
* Ninja ken (ninja sword)
* Bojutsu (stick and staff fighting)
* Shurikenjutsu (throwing blades)
* Yarijutsu (spear fighting)
* Naginatajutsu (halberd fighting)
* Kusarigama (chain and sickle weapon)
* Kayakujutsu (fire and explosives)
* Hensojutsu (disguise and impersonation)
* Shinobi iri (stealth and entering methods)
* Bajutsu (horsemanship)
* Sui ren (water training)
* Bo-ryaku (strategy)
* Cho ho (espionage)
* Intonjutsu (escape and concealment)
* Ten-mon (meteorology)
* Chi-mon (geography)


CHAPTER 4: IMPORTANT WRITINGS





TERMS USED

Sensei – One who serves as a life model for the practitioner of Budo.
Shuko – Traditional claw attachment used by the Shinobi (or ninja) as a tool for purposes such as climbing, and as a weapon for close quartered combat.
Shinobi Zukin – “Shroud of the stealer in” is part of the uniform, and is used to disguise the identity of the Shinobi.
Shinobi-gatana – traditional sword of the Shinobi, shaped like a katana but shorter to allow a faster draw.
Metsubishi – Blinding powder which is dispensed from a compact holding device.
Yamagamori – Mountain Seclusion
Shuriken – Thrown metal weapon which is designed to stun and/or injure an opponent.
Naginata – Spear like weapon with sword-like blade at the tip
Budo - The Martial Way
Shinobi iri – The study of stealth
Ninjutsu – The art of the Shinobi (or ninja). “Nin” translating to endurance, and “jutsu” translating to technique. Ninjutsu refers to a Japanese survival method used in times of war by specific clans who practiced different “ryu” (or schools) within the art.
Ninpo - Ninpo is a group of related martial traditions that have developed in Japan since the ancient period (before the 12th century), and that have been combined in the modern period under one comprehensive martial system.
Ki – ‘Energy’ often mentioned in Budo and other esoteric practices.

Chi – Earth
Sui – Water
Ka - Fire
Fu - Wind
Ku – Void

[kurzweilfreak]

Wth? Who was your teacher and what dojo did you study at?

I have a little girl kitty named Shinobi also. I named one of her kittens, all orange, Tabi.

[BigJon]

Togakure, not Tagakure.

[ElfTengu]

One of my cats put its head in a cookie bag and got stuck, then it looked at me through the window of of the bag and as if this wasn't already the funniest thing I had ever seen, it then added a slow motion backwards fall, off the coffee table onto the floor landing on it's back.

Not to be outdone, my other cat ran and jumped onto the coffee table at such a speed that it slid flying off the other end.

They do kill lots of other small animals, and all the other usual cat things, they even caught a swift once out of the air (which survived as I rescued it from them) but more than anything, they do have their moments of gross unstealthy ridiculousness, just like us.

The moral of this story?

Sometimes, despite the best laid plans of mice and men, everything just goes wrong.

[yoj]

A cat would eat you if it was big enough.

[kurzweilfreak]

That won't stop them from trying. They're always plotting your demise. When they bring you mice with no heads and leave them on your doorstep, it's not a present. It's a warning...

[Neil Yamamoto]

The cat strikes fear in the victim.
A cat will often strike terror in a victim's heart prior to the death strike. This comes in the form of defecation on the victim's pillow or urination on the kitchen counter. This is another aspect of the cat working with tools of nature.

The cat will often seek to cause confusion and fear by flinging clouds of kitty litter as well. This is an earth principle applied.

Luckily, the cat has weaknesses. Curiousity, large nets and animal shelter trucks will usually defeat the cat. I have employed the large breed dog defense to great success in defense against the stalking cat.