Hello Kit,
Just want to share a different point of view. I'm not very good in english and my vocabulary is therefore limited. I also have non experience in fighting, just 10 years Aikido and I believe that aggresivity creates more of the same. I am always interested in the hidden motives of the aggresivity of people.
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
says Takahashi Shihan in his shared post "What you set in stone" http://www.aikidoacademyusa.com/view...php?f=13&t=450
A good example for my idea of self protection is perhaps the famous story "A soft answer" by Terry Dobson http://easternhealingarts.com/Articles/softanswer.html
Maybe we cannot always apply these, but we can try and if we see that it would be too dangerous, the best is to get out of there at fast as possible.
The parable you mentioned is more about "forgiveness" than protection or defense. People who are looking to do one bodily harm on a grand level do so because THEY WANT TO
This parable is more in likeness to de-escalation or prevention, which are paramount
Richard Scardina
Why do they want to?, what was the background of this poor people, had anybody time for them in their whole life?Are they searching the attention of others, the attention they never had before and that's why they took the wrong way?
Ok maybe, the drunk did not harm anybody yet, but that's it we have to react in the right way, fast and right for self protection
Joe
Unfortunately they are different realms. The sports trash talk might work for a "dueling" type violent encounter but it is altogether a different thing from a violent assault or pre-attack behaviors. The TYPE of stress inoculation we do is important, its not simply stress inoculation alone.
Better self defense courses will have not only the name calling, etc. (a different kind of situation, and sometimes that kind of outburst is an indicator that no actual physical violence is likely...) but more subtle verbal and positional intercourse as a way to get closer to a subject or intimidate. The whole spectrum can be included in training.
In my experience cops do much better with the verbal and threat cue parts of training, not as good at the physicals (compared to a dedicated self defense training group). Civilians on the other hand have a great number of questions about these areas, as well as decision making, carrying and using weapons, etc. but are more skillful physically because that is what they practice, often to the exclusion of the former material.
Richard
We agree on some things, on others my experience might not be the same as yours.
I'll not be trying the stranger approach. This kind of thing is indefensible if something goes wrong. Its not very likely anything will, but if it does you own it. My personal opinion - of that kind of training, not of you personally - is that it is ill advised and not in keeping with best practices in the training community. If it works for you, I hope it continues to do so.
Armed rampages have been going on far longer than that. And people are correct in the assessment that there is an upsurge. There is. What is interesting is that it coincides with a down trending in overall violent crime.
Not exactly sure what you are asking in terms of the No Firearms sign....do you mean legal grounds for using a firearm in self defense or simply carrying one in the establishment?
Carina
I admire your compassion.
I'd recommend you read The Gift of Fear by Gavin Debecker, and The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout. The thoughts, feelings, and motivations you have are not those of others. Compassion can be its own form of arrogance when we think we know what other people are "really" thinking, or what they "really want deep down."
Many, many people will react positively to kindness. Some - those more likely to victimize others - see it as an opportunity to take advantage of the very person showing kindness.
It really doesn't matter how they got that way if you are the next victim.
If philosophically you believe in an extreme form of "turn the other cheek" and will allow yourself to be victimized as an object lesson to the victimizer, that is one form of compassion, I guess. It is not one I choose.
I like the Dobson story.
Hi Kit,
It is not so that I turn the other cheek and I'm rather realistic than compassionate. But I always remember when my eldest son got in high school, there were some 14-16 years old boys who did what they liked, terrorizing weak children and teacher, the principal called the parents of these boys, but they never appeard, the children were left to their own, they did all the bad things to get the attention of their parents, I think that is the beginning of a criminal. If these boys would get off the street and maybe learning martial arts, football, basket or any other sport in a team there would be still hope for them, but otherwise
Carina
I see, I understand now. What you are talking about is beyond the scope of the moment you are threatened, in a confrontation, or being assaulted by one of those boys....you shouldn't be thinking about what his parents never gave him. You should be concerned about your personal welfare, and your legal standing to defend yourself.
By no means do I mean getting aggressive. I mean defending yourself assertively and in a reasonable fashion.
Kit,
First of all I would avoid lonely places or places where I could encounter those boys, in case I'd have to confront them I'd try to talk to them, give them the money, if they want that, and if necessary apply what I learned in aikido, tricks of self defence our sensei teaches us. It always depends of the attack, the moment, many things, but the most import is to keep calm.
I think we could avoid a lot of violence through good education and take care of homeless children. There should be more places where they could take refuge and where they still had a chance to choose the right path.
Maybe. Some people are just sociopaths and no amount of healthy home or kindness will change them. Some people will only take advantage of your talking to them.
Taking care of the homeless children is probably less critical than dealing with children being made violent in their own homes, by their own caregivers.
Kit
I understand that you have more experience in these things, but we should never give up, there is always hope. I don't think so many really are sociopaths. Every one should have a chance and more than one before we condemn him. And reformatories are not the best places to help teenagers to find the right path.
We should be grateful for our healthy home and the possibility of education we had, we are really privileged.
The stranger thing is not done in the beginning, it is done at the end. If something goes wrong in the classroom, or if what you taught in the classroom did not apply in the outside, you "own that too". (Example, I knew two women who had studied a RBSD and the role playing. After sometime of their satisfactory training, upon being out, they were approached. One froze, the other tried to fight off the assailants. Basically, they told me the "role playing" in their RBSD was not real enough") We have the situation well under control. The strangers-actors are usually martial artists or skilled students from long previous. Think of it as military experience. You don't know and/or cannot be fully prepared in a "controlled setting"
That all said, I am not completely "dismissing role playing" (We do it midway of the curriculum)
I browsed your blog and there was a linked to vid of knife defenses.
If it is your vid/class, there is some commentary/questions I would like to address
And no, per your article; "A Picture is Worth a Thousand Posts", is not about scrutiny as much as about getting the appropriate feedback...at least from my curious position.
The No Firearms sign is about carrying one in said establishment
Last edited by Richard Scardina; 4th December 2013 at 00:22.
Richard Scardina
Hi Carina,
If your lifestyle is about being "sheltered" from violence, then kudos to you for living this way
You speak of sociopaths, having a chance, etc. I have dealt with many "problem youths". In fact, I have taught martial arts for FREE to these youths, especially those without the financial means.
A scant few had taken advantage of that "chance". Others, pulled away and were lured by the violence-because they wanted to
That said, people are going to be aggressive, uncouth, etc., because they want to. Many people upon maturity, are well aware of right from wrong, but they simply "don't care". It could be said this may be caused by a poor family environment, peers, or even the surrounding culture environment
In analogy; I know some people who are "anti-gun"., right up til the time they wished they had one.
Realising that people are going to be "out" to hurt you, is part of the process of knowing to seek out whatever preparation you can.
Think of it as auto insurance. You do not get insurance thinking you will not have a accident, you get it if/when you do get into one.
Richard Scardina
Richard,
I just want to clarify one point, I wanted to say, there are not so many real sociopaths.
And Kudos to you for that free martial classes, that is great !
I know that not everybody wants help, and there are really bad people who just want to hurt.
Fortunately I live in a small island where the biggest problem is GBV. And in Spain firearms are not allowed, just with a permission for hunting.