Greetings, Mr. Amdur.
I've read this article on koryu.com and I must say I am truly impressed. Not just by what you say in it, but also for it takes a great deal of courage to recognize those feelings anf tell about them to the world.
I, too, once let anger and wrath to take over my hara, at the brisk of life and death. Actually just of death. Not as close in distance as you, but as close in intent and intensity. It was a frigtening experience, one I am very much ashamed of.
I concur with you in every and all words. I also think Aikidô was born in an act of dispair against all the darkness within, an act of greatest love for life and good, like some kind of beacon so we can find the light to overcome our inner shadows, the darkness inside.
Watching today's events in New York and Washington, and Afghanistan, one cannot but wonder how can we overcome these shadows, this madness that is not only inside of ourselves, but also ambushing outside, behind every corner.
I do think this is what the bugei were created for, or at least where they have evolved, to allow us to fight against this crazyness and pain... I was once said by a man I owe maybe not my life, but definitely my mind and my soul, that we can only change this world for better one by one. This is probably the harshest lesson of them all: all our power, skill and will only allows for fighting and hopefully transforming two people at once, aite and ourselves.
I am really impressed after readying your article, for it was a reflection of myself, and of my own, continuing struggle to become a sword of life, and for life, despite all odds against this goal, to become a truly human being.
Thank you for the support, it gives me more strength to keep on fighting my shadows.
respectfully submitted,
abayo,
PS- all my sympathy for those affected by this catastrophe, I still cannot understand it and I don't think I ever will...
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David S. de Lis