View Full Version : Modern Zen Philosophy

Prince Loeffler
30th December 2002, 06:26
Zen philosophy to "enlighten" your day...

1.Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.

2.The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
leaky tire.

3.It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4.Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5.No one is listening until you make a mistake.

6.Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

7.Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

8.It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

9.It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities
without your help.

10.If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

11.Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

12.If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

13.Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and
he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

14.If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.

15.Don't squat with your spurs on.

16.If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

17.If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.

18.Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

19.Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

20.The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

21.Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

22.A closed mouth gathers no foot.

23.Duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

24.There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

25.Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

26.Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Shitoryu Dude
30th December 2002, 15:26
Those of us past the age of 35 recognize these as being true as well as funny. What kids call cynical we realize is just good sense.


10th January 2003, 17:28
I was going to post these but you beat me to it. I tell you it's a conspiracy, Harvey!