View Full Version : Things we never learned to defend against

John Lindsey
6th July 2003, 12:19
No martial art is perfect. No matter how hard you train, you always come up upon a situation that strikes fear in the hearts of martial artists.

Here are a few:

Bovine Ambushes

John Lindsey
6th July 2003, 12:20
Madonna's new album

John Lindsey
6th July 2003, 12:21
The infamous Nile Perch

John Lindsey
6th July 2003, 12:23
Japanese Healthcare

6th July 2003, 13:21
...John Lindsey... :D

John Lindsey
6th July 2003, 14:00
Micheal Jackson as the Last Samurai

6th July 2003, 14:02
So is Madonna supposed to look like Che' or Something?

Jon Gillespie

7th July 2003, 04:24
Is that really John??? :eek:

I always pictured him with lighter hair and no facial hair.

A. M. Jauregui
7th July 2003, 10:15
The Iron Claw... From the can you bet up your dad thread.

7th July 2003, 10:53
...a splash in the tub... (http://www.cutestuf.com/flash_0203/splishsplashbaby.swf)

7th July 2003, 11:01
Or perhaps dissatisfied customers (http://www.buttwind.com/downloads/towyard.mp3)

7th July 2003, 11:20
Angry girl friend...

7th July 2003, 11:33
I would hate to be that under-dog

wendy ongaro
7th July 2003, 23:39
or cute commercial cartoon characters from hell...

wendy ongaro
7th July 2003, 23:45
or accidentally hitting the wrong button after a pissy day at work...

[sunfizz (http://www.punchbaby.com/media/gitfakt/clips/ads/sunfizz.avi)

John Lindsey
8th July 2003, 00:23
Wet Kimono contests

George Kohler
8th July 2003, 02:08
Originally posted by PHILBERT
Is that really John??? :eek:

I always pictured him with lighter hair and no facial hair.

Yep, that's him. We were at Tsukuba San Jinja when the picture was taken last month.

wendy ongaro
8th July 2003, 02:13
the knights who say 'Ni!" (http://www.intriguing.com/mp/_sounds/hg/knights.wav)

A. M. Jauregui
8th July 2003, 02:56
Just something scary about this photo.

8th July 2003, 18:05
You think THAT's scary? Try this...

John Lindsey
8th July 2003, 18:34
Fish flavored Ice Cream

8th July 2003, 22:56
Originally posted by John Lindsey
Wet Kimono contests Aah, Mr Lindsey - is this a possible new thread in the Men's Room?

wendy ongaro
9th July 2003, 03:56
Nothing could ever prepare me for a guy like this...

internet gigilo (http://www.punchbaby.com/media/gitfakt/clips/funny/herbZipper.mov)

Shitoryu Dude
9th July 2003, 04:42
Nothing can prepare a man for a PBFH. You have to experience on first. If you live through it, then you are changed forever.


9th July 2003, 05:59
Originally posted by Shitoryu Dude
Nothing can prepare a man for a PBFH. You have to experience on first. If you live through it, then you are changed forever.


I am a poor student living in a "student ghetto". Take this literally.

For 10 months, I lived with a PBFH, take this literally.

The first couple months, she was okay, she is a little strange, and very bitter. The only thing she ever talks about is conspiracy of the government and who she is going to sue next. Oh, and she also like to talk about conspiracies of the lawyers, because all lawyers from her home town refuse to investigate the conspiracy she suspected.

Then she got really weird... and violent. After 3 weeks of living hell, we finally called the cops and draged her to the mental hospital.

Normally, 9 people live in this house. But she broke down around spring break, when most of my roomates went home, or went to ski trips etc. I and another quiet guy were the only ones left at home to deal with her insanity.

The whole time I dealt with her, I was fine, or so I thought. She hit/ shoved me many times, I never strike back. She threw things at me; she swore at me... I wouldn't yell back. It was somehow really important to me that I was in control. I knew she was trying to get a reaction out of me, which is precisely what I didn't want to give her. At the time, I was a very devoted aikido student, and wholeheartedly believe that there is no good reason to use violence.

But then 2 weeks after she was removed from the house, suddenly, I broke down and cry, for no apparent reasons.

And my attitude toward appropriateness to use force have changed since. If a PB decides she can push me down the stairs or slap or kick me just because she ran out of medications, she will probably find herself waking up in the wrong part of the hospital.

The moral of my story: PBFH change EVERYONE for ever, regardless of your gender.

Shitoryu Dude
10th July 2003, 00:32
Actually, those who suffer the worst from a PBFH are her children. They usually can't get away from her (though they try like hell) and they typically vainly try to warn men away from dear old Mom once they get old enough to understand what the hell is going on.

Just be glad she didn't decide you were her one true love or something similar. The typical PBFH has a fondness for kitchen cutlery and are usually very vindictive.


10th July 2003, 07:28
Things we never learned to defend against ~~~

Women Taekwondoka! (http://www.dogbrothers.com/multimedia/ntaw.mpg) :eek:

Shitoryu Dude
10th July 2003, 18:15
Well, at least we know its effective. :D

Not only did she miss her intended target, she did it with her right when demostrating with her left.


wendy ongaro
10th July 2003, 19:23

Matrix Version (fake parody) (http://www.punchbaby.com/media/gitfakt/clips/funny/MatrixPingPong.wmv)

The Real Deal (http://www.punchbaby.com/media/gitfakt/clips/cool/godlyPingPong.asf)

both are pretty impressive.

10th July 2003, 21:57
Or this

Matrix (http://www.punchbaby.com/media/gitfakt/clips/movies/Matrixfart.mpg)

wendy ongaro
11th July 2003, 12:42
My husband sometimes gets a little nervous about big change, and we are in the middle of buying a new home. Needless to say, he is coping well with a lot of coca cola and potato chips, and isn't getting up so easily in the mornings to go to the gym with me.

His spare tire is slowly growing back (which is fine with me- I didn't marry him for his fine good looks or vast riches :D ), however, without realizing it, I have noticed one or two pointed questions that fall under the category below.

That's O.K. I owe him one or 6 million mind harrowing "am I fat" questions from my less confident youth before I had figured out that death, mother nature, and tax collectors could care less about cellulose.

A. M. Jauregui
13th July 2003, 12:56
Huge Russian babies...

15th July 2003, 09:12
You are all wrong.

You may think that they are happy and cheerful and can make you laugh.

But deep down, they'd be happy to stick a few knives in your back when you are not looking.

Stan:eek: :eek: :eek:

Shitoryu Dude
16th July 2003, 20:39
"clowns have no sense of humor" - Shakes the Clown :D