View Full Version : Definitions

27th October 2003, 05:19
The purpose of this thread is to write tongue-in-cheek definitions of MA terms and practices. Viz.:

Karate (n): The art of breaking boards using an impractical implement such as the hands or feet, when power tools would do so much better.
Add your own! :)

27th October 2003, 20:16
Brazillian Ju Jutsu (n) A martial art, the basic principle involves hugging other men while on the ground.

Julian Gerhart
27th October 2003, 22:21
Aikido (n): 1. the art of utilizing ki to end up accomplishing nothing other than making ones opponent laugh

4th November 2003, 01:13
Training (n): A two-hour warmup before heading to serious weightlifting at the local pub.

4th November 2003, 12:33
<b>Judo</b>(n)<i>"The gentle way". A martial art in which two people hurl each other into the air with bone-crushing force.</i>

<b>Wrestling</b>(n)<i>A good excuse for men to wear tight singlets and roll around on the ground together.</i>

<b>Kendo</b>(n)<i>A sword art for people that like to play with partners.</i>

<b>Iado</b>(n)<i>A sword art for people that like to play with themselves.</i>

4th November 2003, 15:37
Juko Kai (n) "A practice dedicated to birth control through percussive maintenance to the genitalia of its practitioners."

4th November 2003, 19:38
Aikido The art of harmonizing with your opponent so you may defend yourself without hurting them. Unless of course they haven't studied Ukemi - in which case you will be tearing their shoulder out of the socket and smashing them into the ground.

Jujutsu-ka Someone who wishes the Brazilians had called their martial art something else.

Karate-do The lifetime pursuit of peace and happiness through punching, kicking, and screaming.