Weapon story time, please tell a weapon story

[Jody Holeton]

Dear all,


I just read an article on why parents stopped having their kids use METAL LUNCH boxes.
Basically, kids were using them as weapons.

Reading this one of my favorite weapon stories popped into my head...

One of my family members (cough cough) was incarcerated at a Michigan correctional facility and I heard alot of interesting things during my visits.

In Michigan there was a very perplexing person called the "Tin-man." Police and a wide variety of people had trouble with this smallish man (I don't know his size BUT was told he was small and not imposing) who kept on CUTTING people up.

Not with knives mind you but with POP CANS and assorted TRASH. This guy would get dissed, walk away, grab something like a pop can (twist it or rip it or somesuch) and go back and cut-up the offending party. I have been told twisted Pepsi cans can get a razor sharpness.

The funny thing is my "family member" went into prison scared but oddly enough found a crew of 3 guys who needed a 4th party to play euchre
(Euchre is a Michigan/factory rat game).
My "family member" found out soon after of that person's reputation but kept playing. From what I know, he never had a fight in prison and he never got messed with. My family member believes its because no one else knew how to play or WANTED to play euchre with the "Tin-man."

Anyone else have any stories?

[Gene Williams]

Weapons stories or prison stories?

[Jody Holeton]

Whatever you prefer.


Too bad we can't have a contest...

Why doesn't e-budo have contests and tournaments?

[Exorcist_Fist]

I had a family member who was incarcerated for a prolonged period of time. Whenever he couldn't take it he would eat a razor blade.

[jest]

A few months ago, during a disagreement, I went to punch my flatmate on the shoulder, he was holding a dinnerplate which he reflexively hid behind. My fist went through the plate, he held onto a shard, it sliced open my left forearm to the bone.
Broken plates are sharp.

[Casper Baar]

That's funny.
Almost the same thing happened 300 years ago on Okinawa. Only difference is it wasn't a plate but a piece of wood. After that day no piece of wood has been safe from a karateka.

BTW you shouldn't go around punching your flatmates,
Jody asked for weaponstories. You should have stabbed him.

[Tripitaka of AA]

I once went on a mission to destroy a WC pan with a Lump Hammer... and came away bleeding from twenty wounds. Yes, ceramic shards have some excellent cutting properties.

My wife once used a barrage of small chocolate covered honeycomb projectiles to gain my attention. It came as something of a surprise just how much pain a Malteser can give.


And who can forget the damp towel in the Changing Room after the sports class. hang it limp, spin it a bit to creat the rope effect, then flick out with a snap to the nearest gluteous maximus (or other expose flesh).





Somehow I don't think these are the weapons Jody was after...

[Kenseii]

I was once doing some Iai practise in my bedroom with a (particularly crappy) Iai-to (A 440 steel MArto on, the all black one with the crane Tsuba, abou £80 from battle orders).

Anyway, my Flatmate stumbles into my room wasted and swings for me with the Bokken that I had by the dorr.

Not havving room to sidestep I blocked the strike using a reinforced block (lots of years ago dont remember the technique name).

My housemate, not getting the messge, then tried to puch, Conan stylie through my block with the bokken.

Using movement drilled in via the booj i shifted my bodyweight, which sent the point of my blade into his temple, slashing him to the eye.

It was only a "flesh wound" a bit of blood etc... but the ididt wouldnt take no ofr an answer, (dont think he noticed the cut) so I had to take him down with some Muto Dori.

To this day he chats women up by saying he got his scar from a "Sword fight"

Eejit!

[Kenseii]

I once kew a guy full of weapon stories, but, they were usually aboput his antics with stuff he'd stolen when he left the army (explosives and such).

[adouglasmhor]

I once used my helmet as a weapon, I dropped it down the ladder of a watchtower in Northern Ireland onto a sergeant major (not mine) who was trying to sneak up the ladder in the dark to see if I was asleep. he accepted I wasn't. He also could not charge me as he would have been exposed as a tosspot who sneaked up on armed men in the dark.

[SeventhSentinel]

Back when i was in high school (and playing baseball) my younger bro was yappin and yappin just to tick me off. I wanted to throw something at him and the closest thing were the grapes i was eating. So i grabbed a grape and jumped outta my seat did a crow hop and threw it as hard as i possibly could at my bro who was standing defiantly bout 30 feet away. Grape went directly down his throat and lodged in his windpipe. I remember my father being not very happy after giving my bro the heimlich.

The Lesson: Beware of men bearing grapes

[CEB]

Weapon Story,

[GarethB]

CEB, that's just too sad for words.

My own weapon story. I ride a motorbike. I don't own a car, I don't even have a car licence, just a motorbike licence. No, the motorbike isn't the weapon. I'll get to it in a moment (the weapon, not the motorbike).

I'd done some karate before, and had a look at aikido and jujitsu. While browsing through the books in a MA supplies store one day I picked up a small book about iaido (Michael Finn's "Iaido: The way of the sword) and bought it. After reading that book and becoming very interested, I then picked up the Gordon Warner "Japanese Swordsmanship" book and read that, then decided I wanted to try iaido.

As it so happens, the nearest kendo club to me was only 20 minutes drive and taught ZNKR Seitei iaido, the same style discussed in the Warner book (and the Finn book, IIRC). So I went along, had a look at what they were doing, not too much later bought all the gear (bokken, iaito, kendo dogi and hakama) and a carry bag for my bokken and iaito that looks suspiciously like a soft rifle/shotgun case. Did I mention I've never owned a car or a car licence, only motorbikes and a motorbike licence? Did I also mention that carrying a firearm on a motorbike is a serious criminal offence where I live?

So how did I get to/from iaido training? On the motorbike of course, with my bokken and iaito in the carry bag (that looks a lot like a firearm case) across my back. How many times did I get pulled over by the police who wanted to know what was in the bag? I dunno, too many. At least they never pulled their guns on me and were more curious than anything else once they saw what was really in the bag ("it's not a gun, it's a couple of practice swords"). Looking back it was a dumb way to carry them. My jacket didn't have any built in spine protection. If I'd fallen off and landed on my back, my spine would have taken on an interesting new shape as it wrapped itself around the contents of the bag.

I never rode down the street waving the iaito or bokken around in my hand, and I never hit/injured anyone with then during training, but the story doesn't quite end here gentle reader. One day I was walking along the street on my way to some nearby stores to get some groceries. I was in ordinary clothes, minding my own business when a police patrol car cruises past me slowly then stops. I keep walking but watch the patrol car as a window winds down, one of the policemen inside sticks his head out and calls out to me: "You're that guy who rides around on a motorbike with a sword aren't you?"

At this point I'm wondering "where this is going?". It could be good, it could be bad. Why do they want to know that? I take a risk that if it's something bad, they would have gotten out of the car by now for a much more up-close and personal conversation.

"Yes, I am".
"Ok, we were just talking about you living around here".

I didn't recognise those particular officers but one of them must have recognised me from a previous vehicle stop. Was I becoming famous among the local police, or at least just a tiny bit notorious? Being a motorbike rider I did have some obligation to uphold a rebel image, even if it was the "rebel without a clue" image.

Well, the iaido is a thing of the past, but I've recently started Shinkendo, which is a 35 minute drive to/from training. I don't use my iaito any more, just the bokken, but I still carry it around on my motorbike in the same bag as before. I haven't been pulled over yet, but it's propbably only a matter of time until it happens again.

[Shitoryu Dude]

Improvised weapons I have used:

motorcycle helmet
bicycle lock at the end of a long cable
chain
broken liquor bottle
4 foot length of rebar
lead pipe
pool cue
billiard balls
kid's aluminum baseball bat
cat

Of these, the cat was most helpful as all I had to do was throw it in his face really hard from 10 feet.