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Thread: Anybody want to teach these guys?

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by budo_magus View Post

    This one guy walks in. He spoke spanglish. Anyway, he comes in asking if we had any black belts. I said yes. and he asked to see our "Champions." I asked what he was talking about. Then he said that in order to get a black belt, all of the masters send their students to Puerto Rico, where they all battle to the death, and the last man standing gets a black belt.
    And? That's how I got my black belt....


    Quote Originally Posted by budo_magus View Post

    Now, the grand finale.

    I was eating my pizza, getting ready for the first class. My boss is at the front desk. It's July. 98 degrees out. This guy walks in, all black, black cowboy hat, black trench coat, camo pants.

    He says: "Perhaps You've heard of me."
    Boss: "How would I have heard of you?"
    Guy: "I'm making my name known on the streets. Wherever I go, people honk their horns at me."
    Boss: "Ok."
    Guy: "You see, I've recently attained complete enlightenment, and now my reflexes are lightning fast, and I need Ninjutsu to hone my skills."

    Now, we didn't really teach Ninjutsu. A number of us had Bujinkan experience so we had 7 rolls, 6 throws, and 4 armlocks in the curriculum. But there was a Jinenkan group headed by two Dojo-Cho who had used our backroom for years, and to whom I was(and am) a student.

    Guy: "The way the Japanese do. I've recently overcome some demons and I need Classical Ninjutsu to hone my skills."

    So, my Boss gave him the number of one of the Dojo-Cho, and said they'd be there for class at 7pm. The guy called the Dojo-Cho(Chad), and had an exchange with him, repeating the exact same stuff.

    Come 7pm, this guys shows up. He decides not to take class, despite many offers to join in or do the warmups. He sits crossed legged on the floor, watching as he complains about his back hurting.

    Chad: "If you sit like this(In Seiza) or at least straighten your back, it wont hurt as much."
    Guy: "Really?"

    So, at the end of the class, he was asked about training. The guy said "Well, I don't really have any..money." He is asked to come back again anyway, but we never see him.

    One of my coworkers sees him later at a hollywood video, just staring at a video, he couldn't tell which one. Then he goes to the counter empty handed, and whips out his wallet. He shows the cashier a few dozen business cards. The cashier asks "Nice, are they yours?" and the guy replies "Nope, I've just picked them up from different places."
    This one started out hilarious, but ended up....just sad.

    Good ones, Shawn.

  2. #32
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    HI

    I had an email once that simple read

    'Hi, can you please give me one good reason why I should consider training with you'

    My reply

    Hi can you please give me one good reason why i should consider allowing you to be my student.'

    There reply

    'Your a little rude arn't you'
    Paul Richardson - Shidoshi
    Bujinkan Lincoln Dojo

  3. #33
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    Back in the early 90's, a man walked up, pushing a shopping cart, to the Tae Kwon Do school I used to attend. He stood out front just looking up at the sign for a few minutes before deciding to come in. He walked straight past the front counter to the bulletin board in the middle of the visitor's area, and just stared at the board with a mildly manic expression on his face, hugging his coat around himself. The school was run by a married couple, and the lady of the pair was the first to notice him, so she approached him and cheerfully, if a bit cautiously, asked him if she could help him with anything. He slowly turned his head, not blinking at all, regarded her for a moment, and turned back to stare at the board. At this point, as she put it, she used the most effective self-defense technique she'd ever learned in the martial arts - she called her husband. He came out and similarly asked the gentleman if he could help him with anything. Suddenly the stranger turns to him and abruptly asks "DID YOU EVER FLY A SPACESHIP?" My instructor was, understandably, caught a touch off guard by this question, but he replied "Well, no..." "WELL, THAT'S WHY YOU'RE STILL HERE!!!" At that, the stranger walked back outside, collected his cart, and left. We never heard from him again... which was probably best for everyone, really...
    Jonathan Anderson

  4. #34
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    We had a guy come in once, he sat and watched class. All the while he was shaking his head, pursing his lips, and saying, "I wouldn't do that...See, I've trained with green berets, navy seals, etc. and if it were me, I would snap the arm, break the neck, crush the throat..." and all kinds of other deadly stuff! By the way, this is an aikido class he's watching.

    The sensei, a former marine himself, invited him on the mat. Of course he quickly took off his shoes and hurried onto the mat. The sensei kindly explained to him that he was demonstrating a principle and not a combat technique. Sensei then asked the guy to attack him...he did...and wound up on his back quite easily. Then said..."OK, that would work too!"

    Shareef Muhammad

  5. #35
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    When I was teaching in the park I had a guy call me and ask if I would teach him the Xing Yi healing arts. I told him that I didn't teach Xing Yi, I teach Aikido.

    He informed me he knew I was a student of Tim Cartmell, and that Tim Cartmell was a Xing Yi master. I told him that in fact Tim Cartmell is one of my teachers, and that he is well known for his Xing Yi, but that was not the focus of my training with him, and that I didn't know enough about the system to teach it. Further, Tim taught me Xing Yi as a fighting martial art. If their are any "Xing Yi healing arts" he never told me anything about them.

    He then asked if he could come to class. I told him he could come and try a class the next week, but I teach Aikido, and not Xing Yi. He showed up, was very out of shape and uncoordinated. He told me several times that he was an expert in Japanese Jujutsu, so this stuff was pretty basic for him.

    After class was over, he got really close to me, and almost in a whisper said, "I know you can't teach me the Xing Yi death techniques at first, but I'm willing to train in only the healing arts if you'll accept me as your student". Doing everything I could to keep from laughing, I let him know again, that I don't know enough about Xing Yi to teach it, and that I only teach Aikido. He looked at me with a sad look in his eye and said, "I understand, I will try again", then he walked off to the parking lot.

    After he left, The other teacher and I had a little laugh. It was a nice day so we hung out in the park and did some training of our own. About 15 minutes in, I saw this same guy hiding behind a tree watching us. I waved to him and said goodbye once again, he scurried off to his car. I'm pretty sure that he thought he was going to catch us doing some magic karate after he left...
    Chris Hein
    my spelling sucks, but you should see my shihonage!

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisHein View Post
    After he left, The other teacher and I had a little laugh. It was a nice day so we hung out in the park and did some training of our own. About 15 minutes in, I saw this same guy hiding behind a tree watching us. I waved to him and said goodbye once again, he scurried off to his car. I'm pretty sure that he thought he was going to catch us doing some magic karate after he left...
    I just focus my Ki in such a way that all anyone ever sees me do is basic karate and kendo. That way, I can practice all of the magical Ki techniques in the park and nobody sees me hurling Ki balls at the crows.

    Daniel
    Daniel Sullivan

  7. #37
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    Default Returning...

    Haven't posted anything here for sometime...simply because i have more to learn in here than to write

    Well, there is no Kendo/Iaido sensei in my city, so i have to travel to SP(2hours fly from my town) in order to have some classes and then train, mostly by myself. No need to say, i suck big time.

    I am also an Aikido yudansha, so some people ASSUME i most be equally qualified to teach ANY martial art.

    Background put, here we go...
    1.Case
    Q:"I want to learn kenjutsu and iaijutsu. How much do you charge?"
    A:"I don't teach any of these, i am BEGINNER PRACTICIONNER of Kendo and Iaido. There is no sensei of those arts in our town. If you come by the dojo we may talk more about those arts."
    Q:"Ok...i think Kendo and Iaido will do for now...can you tell me what is Kendo and Iaido?"
    A:"No, but google will likely help."
    Q:"By the way i have a skin conditions. Do you think i'll be ok in those arts?"
    A:"Talk to a physician and THEN come to the dojo."

    Never came...but wrote to a friend of mine to complain about my rudeness...

    2.Case - chat room, waaaay back...
    Q:"My dream was to practice an japanese art called Aikido. Have you heard of it?
    A:"Yes...i actually teach it."
    Q:"wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, that is great! Can i be your student?"
    A:"Well...come by the dojo. It is in [neighborhood]"
    Q:"But..that is far from my house...couldn't you teach in my street?"
    A:"Actually..."
    Q:"Also, i don't have money for the fee, but if you allow me to practice for free, after some months i could be your assistant instructor and repay you..."

    3.Case - morning breakfest, my then girlfriend family house, talking to her aunt, three years before i started Kendo...
    Q:"You don't have many students in you class Renato."
    A:"Yes."
    Q:"I know what you could do to get more students!"
    A:"Really...?"
    Q:"Stop teaching Aikido and teach Kendo instead!"
    A:"Do you actually know that, althought there is Kendo in Brazil for more then sixty years, there has never been Kendo in Salvador(my city)? Do you also know that my dan is in Aikido, not in Kendo?"
    Q:"But doesn't a blackbelt in one art serves for teaching all?"

    By the way, her aunt is JAPANESE.
    Renato Costa de Alcântara

  8. #38
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    I had a girl ask me what we teach and I jokingly said Kama Sutra and she responded "That's so cool ! Is that Japanese Style ?" I said yes and I'm and 8th Degree Balck belt.

    when I told her I was joking, She responded " That was not real martial art ?" I said are you for real ?
    Prince Loeffler
    Shugyokan Dojo

  9. #39
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    Can't believe you didn't offer to be her instructor Prince!
    Paul Smith
    "Always keep the sharp side and the pointy end between you and your opponent"

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by pgsmith View Post
    Can't believe you didn't offer to be her instructor Prince!
    I think I did:

    http://www.alljapankarate.com/galler...ottie_1?full=1

    and she brought a friend:

    http://www.alljapankarate.com/galler...yokan_hottie_2


    Prince Loeffler
    Shugyokan Dojo

  11. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prince Loeffler View Post
    What, your kata instruction involves a lot of sticking the butt out?
    Trevor Johnson

    Low kicks and low puns a specialty.

  12. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor Johnson View Post
    What, your kata instruction involves a lot of sticking the butt out?
    Ashi Dachi waza requires perfect balance..
    Prince Loeffler
    Shugyokan Dojo

  13. #43
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    I am part of a small dojo of (up to) four students who are central to our dojo and have been there a while, the newest one has 1.5 years in. I completely understand the attitude you are taking and I'm sorry we live in a culture that isn't willing to put forth the effort it requires to learn something. We've been especially explaining this lately to the new people that are trying out our classes, this isn't something you'll understand and do well in for years. I usually tell them, "If you like Japanese Martial Arts, then come, if not there is MMA and kickboxing all over, you can try there." It is nice to find the people to train with that do it for the love of training instead of looking for something that is being sold. When people ask how much our dojo fees are (only $45!) I usually say, "Just come in once and see if you want to join first, because if you're worried about money than it's not for you."

    I myself was given a little slack as I moved to where I'm at about 2.5 from the other side of the state and have worked hard keeping myself here in order to train. I've stopped talking to people in depth about the martial arts, because I usually learn they're not at the same place I am mentally.

    So I understand your responses and hope you acquire the students who understand that they get the privilege of working under you and learning what you have to give not that it's something to be sold and bought and they can have it with money, or any other earthly goods.

    To quote The newest Count of Monte Cristo,

    "In return for your service I offer you something priceless, something that no one can take away from you."

    "My freedom?"

    "Your freedom can be taken away from you, as you well know, I offer you something even greater....knowledge."

    Nami Ryu Aiki Heiho
    Masa Katsu Dojo
    http://www.masakatsudojo.com/

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