Friend or Teacher

[Inazuma]

Yeah, that's what I thought, it just seems to me that some of the people use Sensei as a special term to denote a martial art teacher specificly...

Friends don't need to be equal, just friendly :P

[trevorg]

Just reading around the forum and I started thinking.
There are basically three schools of thought regarding
how to address your instructor:
1 Sensei
2 The highest title they have (Renshi, Kyoshi, Dai-Ni-Soke)
3 Just casually by their first name.

My question is as a society are we becoming more socially lax
or just don't care about showing respect.
For example I was taught to always address someone older than
me as Mr., Mrs. or whatever until they told me otherwise.
This is something I do till this day, Also I am reminded every time
I go down south that some people still use Sir and Ma'am (sp) for
someone they don't know.

I believe that using these titles bring some sort of "order" to things
a kind of "knowing your place" feeling like the saying goes,
“Familiarity breeds contempt”

I am reminded of what one of my instructors said:
“I am not your friend, I am your teacher” kind of falls in line
with the idea of being a parent to your kids and not their “friend”.

Basically what I’m asking is are we so eager to be everybody’s friend
that we sacrifice our roles as teachers and students?

Just a thought.

(Mods if this is in the wrong forum please move it to a more appropriate
place.)

I believe there is a difference between being friendly and being a friend of.
In the class it is important the student respects the teacher and addresses him as such. Personally, I dont have much time for formal address outside the dojo,at least I dont like it when I am addressed although there would be occasions when I dont know the teacher that I would address him as sensei.
Generally, though, I dont care what people call me outside the dojo.

I also believe in acting friendly but I would never make friends of students in the same way that I have never socialised outside of work or have friends from work. That is just my way, I comparmentalise everything so I have my home life, work and dojo lives.

In the end, its horses for courses. A student may be with a teacher for a long time and develop a friendship. The class may be very small and therefore more intimate. The teacher may be gregarious. A teacher may prefer formality, or not. It doesnt really matter as long as the student is learning properly and respects the teacher for the knowledge that s/he is passing on.

[Inazuma]

Weren't the Ryuha (or is it Ryu, I alway get confused with the terms) not just a training unit but also a socio-political entity?

Does anyone know how that affected the Teacher-Student interaction previously, or how it translates into modern day interaction? (Again, I know next to nothing about the post-restoration/modern martial arts, and just slightly more about the Koryu, but I want to learn!)

[Old Dragon]

Your mention of a mentor is a good place to start. I know its been alot of years since you posted.. and I have recently "retired" from teaching daily classes.. which I have done for over 29 years.. I still do a few seminars here and there and I keep in touch with some of my students. Rather they keep in touch with me.. I always encourage them to come over visit.. play a game of chess etc etc.. and we always revert to questions and advice about the martial arts.. so you see.. they call me sensei.. once in a while " Mike" slips out.. I dont tell them to call me sensei.. they just do.. now im still teaching by the mentorship I give them as they start their own dojo.. and travel the world.. I have people who have not trained with me in many years still visit when they are back in town.. so your see.. friendship is valued.. on both sides.. I have seen two of my students marry other martial artists.. I was master of ceremonies at one wedding and walked another down the isle.. These are true students.. We all talk about the arts.. they ask opinions.. even when they are advanced dan rank.. we all need someone to talk to as we walk this path.. even if its not on the " floor" of the dojo but in the garden playing chess.. OH did I mention My Sensei is 82, still teaches in his back yard.. the Megami dojo.. I dont see him much but amazing how the internet can keep us connected.. He's a wonderful man.. I miss him but hes only a keyboard or phone call away.