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Thread: Training the family

  1. #1
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    Default Training the family

    The Dojo I attend has a lot of children. As all martial arts the Dojo tries to teach the students respect, discipline and respect. The problem is not the students but the parents of the students. They ignore the rules. Eat and drink in the studio, talk during the classes and don't have the level of respect that I think they should. Of course they are also role models for their children who are students. Many of the families are from cultures who enjoy arguing and are pushy. I assume the Sensei doesn't push the issue because of business. He too has a family to feed and doesn't want to chase customers away. So how do you address this situation or do you.

  2. #2
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    Default family

    I've seen this dealt with in a number of ways.

    1) My way. I don't teach children so parents aren't a factor

    2) One Dojo I trained at on three occasions had a "waiting room" for parents. Between the doorway of there and the Dojo area there was a sign (like a road traffic sign) saying something like "Anybody not training must stay behind this sign and must be silent". They also had a shoe rack so parents had to remove footwear before approaching the Dojo area. Because it was a sign and not a verbal instruction it seemed to work.

    3) Approach the parents in a jokey way. Say to them "There's no talking until you've been my Uke." Show them a throw and they'll soon be quiet. When I did teach children I used to run classes in a "working men's club" (I don't know if you have those outside the UK - they are like nightclubs but for old people with bingo, karaoke, and you have to be a member) using the dance floor as a "dojo". Often the parents would be watching while having a beer. Sometimes parents (of especially young children) would coach from the sidelines: "No, Callum - that's your left leg". And I would just make a joke with them, taking my belt off and saying "sorry, shall I leave?" It seemed to work!
    Simon Keegan 4th Dan
    www.bushinkai.org.uk

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xenophon456 View Post
    The Dojo I attend has a lot of children. As all martial arts the Dojo tries to teach the students respect, discipline and respect. The problem is not the students but the parents of the students. They ignore the rules. Eat and drink in the studio, talk during the classes and don't have the level of respect that I think they should. Of course they are also role models for their children who are students. Many of the families are from cultures who enjoy arguing and are pushy. I assume the Sensei doesn't push the issue because of business. He too has a family to feed and doesn't want to chase customers away. So how do you address this situation or do you.

    You have to get the parents to understand that with rules, instill discipline and respect. Explain to them that you will have a difficult time in teaching discipline and respect to their kids, if they do not follow rules.

    The problem with many such schools, is that they allow their students/parents to become "customers". And such that will not come forth with measures in fear of losing these "customers".

    And though the school is a business, it must not let go of its goal that the students are there to learn martial arts and its many virtues. These virtues cannot be compromised.
    Richard Scardina

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xenophon456 View Post
    The Dojo I attend has a lot of children. As all martial arts the Dojo tries to teach the students respect, discipline and respect. The problem is not the students but the parents of the students. They ignore the rules. Eat and drink in the studio, talk during the classes and don't have the level of respect that I think they should. Of course they are also role models for their children who are students. Many of the families are from cultures who enjoy arguing and are pushy. I assume the Sensei doesn't push the issue because of business. He too has a family to feed and doesn't want to chase customers away. So how do you address this situation or do you.
    Hi guys!

    First, I would like to introduce myself, my name is Royen, a student who has recently joined karate classes because I think learning self-defense is essential for everyone.

    @ Xenophon456 I understand how you feel when you saw parents create chaos in studio. There is no doubt that parents are the role models for children.

    I think taking a separate session of parents would be helpful approach. Keep in mind that maintaining discipline is in your hands.
    Set some basic rules for entering in the studio like:

    1. Eating and drinking is not allowed in the premises.

    2. A person who is found making noise should sit outside the premises for 20 minutes.

    3. Remove footwear before entering in the dojo area.

    Apply these rules only on the students.

    As Simon said , you can set ‘waiting room’ aside for parents.

  5. #5
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    I think its parents responsibility to keep kids in control. I was also going to Dojo class, and learned, how to become self motivated and got confidence to face the outside world. My 3 year old niece is also learning Dojo in her Long Island preschool. At this small age also she has learned many things about Dojo, and has become self-dependent. I must appreciate to her preschool who runs such nice useful programs for kids.

  6. #6
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    I am totally agree with donnmartin. Its Parents responsibility to take care of kids.

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